Pay With Your Heart

506 Pain And Anguish

Eun-sun laid in Dan-Han’s arms with her eyes closed pretending to sleep, but sleep was nowhere close to her eyes.

There was an abundance of sadness in her heart, and it was churning within her stomach, but she had no idea what to do about it.

It felt like a boulder was lodged in the depth of her heart, and it was weighing her down, tightly clenching her heart and sending cold jolts of pain over her nerve endings.

Eun-sun was in a wild desperation for an escape from the heaviness and pain in her heart, and as much as she wanted to close her eyes and wish it all away, her heart was too heavy to let it happen to her.

She felt choked. She wanted it all out, but she had no idea how to let it out of her...out of her chest. And even if she did, she couldn’t do it because of Dan-Han.

He was laying down beside her, giving her whatever comfort he could offer, while he was in need of same.

Dan-Han was remarkably tough, but he had a weakness and that was their love for one another.

Eun-sun couldn’t bear to see him cry or wallow in self-blame like he did a while ago. It would break her heart more than it already was. So for his sake, she’d keep it in as much as she could.

A soft knock rapped on the door, and while she heard it, she remained still.

.....

“Come in,” Dan-Han said, and Mi-Cha poked her head into the room. Her gaze fell on Eun-sun peacefully lying in Dan-Han’s arms, and Dan-Han followed her gaze.

“Is she awake?” Mi-Cha softly asked in a whisper, but before Dan-Han could answer, Eun-sun’s voice came up.

“Mi-Cha?” She called, slowly raising her head towards the head poking into the room.

Mi-Cha turned away and looked behind her, “She’s awake.” She announced before fully opening the door.

Dan-Han glanced at Eun-sun and silently peered at her face. Eun-sun couldn’t tell the emotion in his eyes, but if he knew she had been pretending to be asleep, he didn’t show it.

He turned his gaze towards the door when Mi-Cha stepped into the room with a their parents following behind her.

“Mom, Dad?” Eun-sun called out.

Sena hurried to her side and firmly gripped her hand. She cupped her cheek and fondly kissed her.

“Honey, are you feeling? Are you in pain?” She worriedly asked, concern gleaming in her eyes.

Eun-sun pushed forward a smile and shook her head, while placing her free hand on her mother’s for a gentle pat. “I’m fine, mom. Truly.” Eun-sun assured her, but the skeptical look on her mother’s face told her she didn’t believe her.

Sena’s eyes glimmered with motherly affection as she brushed her hand through down her hair. “Tell me the truth honey. Are you really okay?”

Was she truly okay? Eun-sun knew that question wasn’t just about the physical pain she was feeling, but about the baby she had lost.

Her lips threatened to tremble, but she bit them and smiled even brighter. “I’m okay, mom. Really okay.” She told her before shifting her gaze towards Mi-Cha who had a replica of the worried look on their mother’s face.

“Mi-Cha, are you okay? Where you hurt?” Eun-sun questioned, but Mi-Cha shook her head.

“I’m fine.” She softly replied, but the guilt and pity in her voice were audible to Eun-sun, and so were the sadness in her eyes.

Eun-sun could guess the thoughts going through her head at the moment. She could imagine Mi-Cha blaming herself again for her misfortune, but it wasn’t truly hers.

She wasn’t at fault for any of this.

But as much as Eun-sun wanted to tell her this, she couldn’t, because just the thought of her baby brought that uncomfortable squeeze in her chest.

Eun-sun shifted her gaze to her father, who was silently staring at her, but was equally as worried as her mother, if not more. He seemed like he had aged a few years in one night.

The frown lines on their faces was evident of the worries they had for her, and she didn’t want that. She didn’t want them to worry about her, but could she?

Could she really stop them from worrying?

They were her parents and family, and worrying was every parents inherent gift. Just like it was already becoming hers.

What if she can’t protect this baby? What if she lost this one too?

Eun-sun’s mind was slowly drifting back to her pregnancy, but she quickly pushed it out of her mind.

She flashed a smile at at her father as she stretched out her hand to him, which he promptly received. She looked at them and pushed her lips wider to force an even brighter smile.

“I’m really fine. You all don’t have to worry.” She assured them. “You guys just have to stop frowning.” She softly scolded, but while everyone nodded at her, they all knew she was far from fine.

“We brought you food.” Sena suddenly announced, wanting to shift the dreary atmosphere. “The doctor gave us a list of things you should eat for now till you get better, so I brought some.” Sena said bringing forward the bags she had brought in, and Mi-Cha helped her unpack them.

Sena looked over at Dan-Han. “Dan-Han, you should eat too.” She told him.

Dan-Han has been at the hospital since the moment he was released, and had been waiting by Eun-sun’s side.

“I’ll eat later, just let her eat.” He said, while Eun-sun arched a brow at him.

“Why? You’re not hungry? You haven’t eaten since you were released, right?” She questioned, and he shook his head.

Dan-Han gently smiled as he brushed his hand down the length of her hair. “I’ll feel better if you eat first, and I have to step out. I’ll be back shortly.” He told her, but Eun-Sun caught onto his sleeve.

“But where are you going?” She questioned, her eyes anxiously gazing at him.

Dan-Han caught the glint of worry in her eyes. He resignedly sighed as he leaned back and pelted her forehead with an assuring kiss. “I just want to make a call. I’m not leaving you. I’ll be outside, so don’t worry.” He reassured her.

He knew the reason behind her anxiety, and he perfectly understood. She was scared.

Eun-sun wasn’t convinced about his reason for leaving, because for some reason she didn’t trust his words, nevertheless, she stiffly nodded.

Dan-Han smiled and kissed her cheek. “Good girl.” He said and stepped down from the bed.

Eun-sun watched as he sauntered towards the door and out of the room. His shoulders were unusually tensed and high, and she could tell he wasn’t okay.

She also wasn’t okay. They had both lost a child which they never got to know of its existence till she lost it.

“Honey, here take the spoon.” Sena said, putting the spoon into her hand, but Eun-sun couldn’t hold it. Her hand was trembling and when she looked at down it, she realized her vision was hazy.

A bead of tears fell from her eyes and then another, and even more followed.

“Eun-sun, why are you crying?” Sena asked in a tearful voice, but Eun-sun couldn’t give an answer.

Her lips trembled so badly, but that came from them was a groan of pain.

“Oh dear,” Sena cried as she put her hands around her and tightly hugged her.

There was no doubt about why she was crying. Sena had once experienced it herself. The feeling of losing a child that could have been a great part of ones life was indescribable.

It might have been a foetus, but it was Eun-sun’s child nonetheless. One she would have gladly carried with love, and that she lost it in a painful way made it even more hurtful.

“Baby, you’re gonna be alright.” Sena comforted her, while Ki-Jun patted her hand.

“D...Dan-Han,” Eun-sun stuttered amidst tears, and Sena hugged her even tighter.

“Dan-Han is going to be just fine. You both are. If not for yourself, you have to do it for your other baby, Eun-sun. Please stop crying.”

“Sis, stop crying. It’s going to be fine.” Mi-Cha also tried to comfort her, but her own tears were also flowing.

She couldn’t help but blame herself. If only she hadn’t been stupid, Eun-sun and her babies would have been fine. They wouldn’t be in this condition right now.

Outside the door, Dan-Han stood with his hands clenched tightly at his side, as he listened to Eun-sun cry.

He knew Eun-sun had been pretending to sleep all along, simply to keep the pain away from him. She might not have known it, but her body had been so stiff in his arms.

He knew how much she was hurting, and how desperately she was trying to keep it all in because of him.

Eun-sun was one person he knew well. She was the woman he loved and would spend the rest of his life with, so he yes, he knew her well.

She’d rather burn and drown in her own pain, than let him take the blame for things.

He didn’t want to leave her, and while it was a tough decision, he knew it had to be done.

She had to let it all out. She had to breathe.

And for every tear she was shedding now, he’d make the people behind it shed a thousand more.

Yong-Gun would wish to die an easy and quick death, but he wouldn’t have it. Yong-Gun had done so much to Eun-sun that even death was too much mercy for him.

Every ordeal Eun-sun had been through since her birth had all been because of him. And even now he had to take their child just the same way he took her from her parents.

Dan-Han’s felt his hands clench even more till his nails were digging into his palms.

He whipped out his phone and dialled a number.

“When will they be indicted?” He questioned the moment the call was answered.

“The first hearing is tomorrow, the second —”

“I want the case concluded by the second hearing.”

“But president Lee,”

“I want him dead before he steps into his prison cell.” He growled.

“Yes, sir.” The person on the other side of the phone echoed and Dan-Han ended the call.

Dan-Han had only just ended the call, when he heard someone call his name.

He looked over to his right and he saw Ni-Na hurrying up to him, and following behind was her parents and his father.

What was he doing there?

.....

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