132 Getting Help - Part 2
Monday, continued ...
"Damn it Yi if I had known I would have told you to back off.Anna has a lot of issues and work to be done, but the biggest hurdle is done, she has admitted and is willing to accept help.She needs to feel safe and supported, which I can clearly see she feels with you.If you take that from her she will completely fall to pieces.But and I have to stress this any sexual relationship between you has to be controlled by her.If you pressure her in any way it will end in disaster."
"Pip, when we sleep of a night time, if I move away from her, or leave the bed, she starts yelling, and thrashing about.It worries me."
"Yi, in her dreams she is dealing with some of the trauma.She relies on you to be with her, and in her sleep that lack of connection she needs, makes it impossible for her to cope."
With that they were interrupted by a knock on the door with the catering staff bringing in lunch, which they set up on the dining table.Just as they were leaving they heard Anna finishing off in the bathroom, so they called Anna to come in for lunch.
As the three of them had lunch Phillipa spoke "Having spoken to both of you, I can start the process for you before I have to head home in three weeks.However what it achieves will be up to you.I am going to mix my normal process, as you both need each other to go through this.It is clear that you are each others support systems"
"Anna you need Yi to feel safe, reveal what has happened and cope with the outcome of your revelations, and Yi you need Anna to help you deal with what is revealed.Now, I am not going dictate that every session has to be like today as you need joint sessions, however what we do is up to the two of you.Anna, you can have Yi with you or not, it is your call."
Phillipa paused looking at the two of them.She realised that each of them was looking at the other with a look of longing, when the felt the other was not watching them.Anna, however clearly did not realise what her feelings were, and she needed support to realise that she was as much in love with Yi as he was with her.However, she knew as a trained professional, Anna could not get to that point without significant help given how much her previous relationship has messed her up.
"I will be in your hands as to how we proceed.But I will be as intensive with the sessions as I can be before I leave.However I will before I leave I will arrange for less intensive help once I leave.Yi, you can fly me back about every four to six weeks, where I will review where things are at and work out the steps forward for you.However, the two of you have to realise that this is a long-term process, but I do believe that in the end, regardless of how your relationship started, it will survive, and it will surprise both of you."
Anna and Hou Yi looked at each other and seemed to get lost looking in each others eyes for a few seconds.Hou Yi then responded "Pip, I will do whatever Anna wants.It needs to be her choice."
Hou Yi looked at Anna, and she thought for a few seconds, "Actually, I think I would like to try with Yi being there, but if I need him to leave, he leaves."
"I can agree with that."
"OK we have worked out how we are going to proceed.Now, I have something that I have noticed that you need to understand.Presently, for some reason you each are dependent on the other.While that means that you will help each other through what is ahead, you need to have outside supports, engage with friends and other activities that are not dependent on the other.You need something to escape to, when dealing with troubling things."
"However, one thing, at least for the next few weeks, I would be suggesting that at night, you both remain sleeping in the same room.You have both reported that the other becomes distressed if they move away too far from the other when they are asleep.Conventional wisdom would say that you need space even at night, but you two are different."
"I would be saying that of a night, you do not sleep apart, so that means that if you need to go away on business Yi, take Anna with you.Given the trauma that you will be confronting, solid sleep is necessary to stand the pressure.What you do behind your bedroom door is your choice but think carefully about it."
They drifted off into more personal discussions, while finishing lunch, marking arrangements for a further appointment tomorrow.
As Phillipa was leaving, she turned to the two of them "Yi, you and Anna better be ready to accompany me tomorrow night to the theatre.I hate going on my own, particularly when my old man is involved, so if I have to drag the two of you with me, I will."She gave an almost evil laugh and turn around and left before either of them could say anything.
With Phillipa gone, and Anna and Hou Yi drifted toward the couch, simply sitting down, relaxing.
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