Chapter 48
TL: KSD
I know.
How difficult it is to become a star.
How hard it is to succeed in the entertainment industry.
Kim Byul knew it painfully well.
.
In the dim room, sitting crouched on her bed, Kim Byuls thoughts sank into the past.
When she was young, her mother put a candy in Kim Byuls mouth and took her to a directors house.
Then, in front of the director, her mother took away the candy, and Kim Byul cried out loud.
Soon after, her mother snapped her fingers. Kim Byul stopped crying immediately.
Her mother said, How about that?
The director said, Youre passed.
It was when she was just 4 years old.
But, in fact, Kim Byul wasnt acting at that time.
She had been trained to stop crying when her mother snapped her fingers. With a switch and snacks. Like an animal.
Her mother often proudly spoke of that time.
Thats what acting is.
Anyone can do it if they learn and practice. Its better to start when young, and even better to start working on projects when young.
My mother failed because she didnt have parents to guide her like this, but you will succeed if you just listen to me..
And so it happened.
While acting as a child actor, Kim Byul earned enough income to not worry about money for the rest of her life.
What could be a better proof of success in a capitalist society? The mother proved her philosophy with results.
This success was all thanks to her mother. Her mother signed contracts with companies, chose the projects, and signed her up for academies.
So..
Mother must be right this time too. Its correct to try to seize the opportunity when it comes. Even if its desperate, its right to push forward in any way possible.
Her mothers method wasnt wrong.
If you dont rebel, you can keep peace. If you dont rebel, you can eat the meals mom makes, wear the school uniform mom irons, and go to school.
You can keep the life you have now.
Yes.
Thats enough
Kim Byul finished pondering and got up from her bed with a haggard body.
And turned on her phone screen to check the time.
Behind the numbers indicating 4:32 AM, there was a photo taken with her club friends.
Kim Byul stared for a long time at the boy covered with a blanket, making a V-sign with an expressionless face.
.
She just thought that he was too precious a friend to lose like this.
That was all.
EP 4 Red Hunter
Its late-
Autumn is coming to an end. The splendid autumn leaves have all fallen, and the trees are slowly revealing their bare branches.
However, the piles of leaves thickly covering the ground seem to desperately claim that autumn has not ended yet,
Its that kind of season.
From the club room window, I could see girls playing, wildly kicking through piles of leaves. As the old saying goes, Middle school students are at an age where they laugh loudly at the mere sight of falling leaves, tearing them up, trampling them, and destroying them, it seems not wrong. (TL: I dont know what proverb is that I havent heard of it or I can find anything about it. Its probably from a book or something that the author is quoting. I have done a literal translation, so the meaning it might be trying to convey may be lost in this translation.)
I slowly moved my gaze away from the window to look at the club room.
Gu Yu-na and Min Hyo-chan were talking worriedly.
Is Byul unnie not coming today either?
Yeah. She didnt come to school at all today.
Is she sick.
Gu Yu-na hugged the pillow on the sofa tightly with an expressionless face. To me, it seemed like loneliness.
Gu Yu-na then flung the pillow aside and walked briskly to sit in front of the laptop.
Well, shes been so busy, maybe she just forgot about our club.
She would rather have forgotten than be absent due to illness.
Anyway, Byul unnie didnt do much even when she was here for the Demonic Sword writing stuff, right? Lets just do it among ourselves.
It meant to continue club activities without any disruptions, waiting for Kim Byul to eventually return.
But Min Hyo-chan got annoyed not knowing that.
Hey! Arent you worried about your senior?
I am worried. (Its a fact.)
What?! Ugh, never mind. I really cant figure her out.
Gu Yu-na, not bothered by the irritated Min Hyo-chan, started writing. Indeed, she was a master of BL fanfics, well-versed in Harry Potter, Jujutsu Kaisen, Haikyuu, and so on.
(Its a secret from her dad)
Meanwhile, pink-haired Min Hyo-chan, not wanting to get into a petty fight with a girl as small as a mouse, was about to start a Chinese otaku mobile game with his headphones on.
Drrrrk-!
The sliding door of the club room opened.
Min Hyo-chan, I, and Gu Yu-na, who pretended otherwise but was actually waiting for Kim Byul more than anyone else, turned our heads like meerkats to check the visitor.
Unfortunately, the visitor was not Kim Byul but Park Chang-woon, the madman from the literature department with a thick beard.
Whats with this darkness? Children of the dark?
A veteran novelist and middle school teacher dressed in a modernized hanbok turned on the club room light and strode in.
He casually ignored the hip-hop pink-haired brat, patted Gu Yu-na on the head, and handed me a piece of paper.
Our Moon In-seop. Do you know what this is about?
Whats the matter?
Take a look. Your club president has submitted a resignation.
The paper clenched in my fist was Kim Byuls Club Withdrawal Form.
Ah.
What, what is this.
While Min Hyo-chan and I were shocked and froze,
Gu Yu-na, who understood the situation faster than anyone, asked.
Where does unnie live?
* * *
Gu Yu-na tried to calmly find out Kim Byuls home address by loitering around the staff room, but I am also human.
I had at least a minimal sense of humanity, so I couldnt possibly unleash a monster like Gu Yu-na to Kim Byuls house.
Even if her mother had caused me a troublesome situation. After all, its not right to unleash a mini mental destruction biological weapon in someones home.
So, I took it upon myself to meet and persuade Kim Byul.
Besides, it was an unspoken truth that I was the real power of our Pop Culture and Arts Research Club, and Kim Byul was just a figurehead.
Meaning, I was essentially the president, and Kim Byul was just a member. And since its the presidents duty to catch a fleeing member, it was natural that the situation had come to this.
However, the problem was that she wasnt coming to school, and it was difficult to go to her house, but that problem could be simply solved.
Excuse me, I have something to discuss with actor Kim Byul. Is it possible to have a meeting?
I went to Baekhak Entertainment Management Team 2. This is where actors are managed, and Kim Byul belongs here.
To the puzzled staff, I explained.
Actually, we are publishing a literary fanzine together. An E-book. But suddenly, due to personal reasons, actor Kim Byul hasnt been attending our meetings, so I came to check on her.
Uh Thats
For your information, this literary fanzine is being distributed through our own publishing management department.
Yes! Ill contact her right away.
I easily called for Kim Byul.
What a solid justification, right?
The effect was tremendous.
Hey! What are you doing here!
Kim Byul appeared.
I waved at her.
Its been a while since weve seen each other at the company, Kim Sunbae.
You!
Lets talk for a moment.
Stop this here and come with me!
Kim Byul, filled with rage, grabbed my wrist and dragged me away. Since girls grow faster during the growth period, I couldnt overpower her with strength and was dragged along.
She dragged me to a dark emergency staircase, checked for the absence of people, then pushed me against the wall and yelled.
What do you want! What are you trying to do with me!
Why arent you coming to the club?
Would you go if you were me?!
Kim Byuls fingertips were trembling. Since there was no clue whether this was an expression of her confused emotions or an act, I focused on the conversation.
Everyone is worried, so
How can I go to that club! You are there!
Kim Byul cut me off harshly and looked at me with resentful eyes. Being skilled at expressing emotions, her gaze was conveyed to me more clearly than ever.
You You looked down on me.
.
At that restaurant, in front of the mother and the chef, you left the meal money as if throwing coins to a beggar and just left
The eyes of Kim Byul, who was looking at me resentfully, gradually became moist. Then, a tear rolled down her cheek.
Kim Byul hastily wiped away the tear as if she didnt want me to see it, then glared at me with a venomous look.
I know. I must look pathetic in your eyes. Groveling like this just to get a role
.
.
Silence swirled between us for a moment. I had glimpsed into her depths, and she had inadvertently exposed her vulnerabilities.
Despite having wiped them away earlier, Kim Byuls eyes were overflowing with a self-loathing that couldnt be wiped away.
After pouring out all her emotions, Kim Byul finally returned to a blank expression and said weakly to me,
So please just go. Dont make me feel more miserable.
.
People who arent geniuses have to do it this way. You wouldnt understand.
With that, Kim Byul trudged down the stairs.
I looked down at her retreating figure and said,
Thats right. I really dont understand.
Kim Byul stopped in her tracks.
Then why dont you beg me? To put in a good word for you to director So Tae-woong?
Stop it.
You said living humbly is also a way of life. Then try begging humbly for once. Ask me to speak well for you to Director So Tae-woong.
Were you always this kind of person? Do you enjoy mocking people?
You cant do it, can you?
Kim Byul turned back and strode up to me.
Then, she grabbed my collar and thrust her twisted face close to mine.
Please just stop.
What I see is not the reason for your suffering, Kim Sunbae.
I flicked away the hand that was grabbing my collar.
Her frail grip fell away hopelessly.
I sat down on the emergency stairs going up and patted the seat next to me, inviting Kim Byul to join me.
Lets sit here and talk, Kim Sunbae.
.
Dont be so serious.
.
Tsk. Geez.
Although I unintentionally used the tone I had with Gu Yu-na, it seemed to work on Kim Byul as she hesitantly sat down next to me.
I patted her back and soothed her gently.
Im not a genius either. There are so many people in the world who write better than me. Ive written plenty of pieces just trying to please others to somehow float to the top. And begging?
I chuckled.
Kim Sunbae, you shouldnt talk to me about begging. Children in the orphanage beg volunteers by acting cute. They supplement their meager allowances with begging. That was our daily life. I wasnt an exception in the past either
You?
How do you buy paper, pay for transportation, and get writing materials with just allowance? Of course, there was one teacher who took good care of us, but that wasnt enough. I really lived humbly too. Please give me some money, please think well of my writing, please give me an award
.
But heres the problem. Even if I have to bow my head, I have to do it myself. Even if I have to grab someones ankles, I have to be the one to do it. Even if I have to beg humbly, it has to be me. Thats the only way to have dignity. But if a friend begs on my behalf, if a parent begs on my behalf? Then you lose your mind. Thats exactly the situation youre in now, in my view.
.
Youre not fully owning your life.
Suddenly, Kim Byul bowed her head deeply and began to tremble slightly.
I pretended not to notice and continued speaking calmly.
Ive lived like this too, so how could I dare to look down on Kim Sunbae? I apologize for what happened in the restaurant. I left in a hurry because it seemed like you were suffering, but I didnt realize it would hurt you this much.
A slightly sobbing voice came from the clump of hair bowed down.
Really?
Actually, Im also running away. When I see kids in school uniforms being bullied and beaten, it feels like a chokehold around my heart. It feels like its happening to me. I was beaten up a lot in the past, and the aftereffects lasted a long time It was too hard for me to watch you suffer there. So, I ran away. It was never about looking down on you
.
So, dont act like youve wronged me and come back to the club. Everyone is worried about you.
Kim Byul didnt answer for a while.
But at that moment, I felt as if a tangled thread had been unraveled.
Sure enough, a sullen voice came from Kim Byul, still with her head down.
Yeah.
I smiled with relief and got up from my seat.
Leaving Kim Byul sitting on the upward slope of the emergency staircase, I started to descend.
Just before opening the door and leaving the staircase, I turned back to her, realizing there was something I hadnt said.
Oh, and it might be a bit awkward to say this in such a situation
?
Why do you think I brought back an autograph from Director So Tae-woong without being asked?
!
There was no need to add that while getting the autograph, I mentioned having an actor friend, and because of that, Director So Tae-woong is already aware of the actress Kim Byul.
Seeing Kim Byuls eyes widen as she looked at me, it seemed she understood what I meant by saying this.
I just smiled awkwardly.
And quietly left the emergency staircase behind, leaving Kim Byul alone.
Hoping she would return to the club.
* * *
However, Kim Byul never returned to the club.
Every time we gathered for club activities, we had to feel the emptiness of Kim Byuls absence.
Well
It takes about half a year.
Really?
Making a movie isnt an ordinary task
Kim Byul eventually broke through the audition for Red Hunter.
I dont know how much my help contributed to that.
But whats certain is,
This place values results over the process.
And that result is not yet completed.
Now, it was the time for the director and the actor.
*****
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