As I took a step back, my heart pounded in my chest and my body trembled with a mixture of adrenaline and exhaustion. I couldn't help but notice the horrified expressions on their faces. Henry's voice broke through the heavy silence, pleading for me to stop.
"S-stop!" he shouted, his voice filled with a combination of fear and disbelief.
I turned around, carefully surveying the scene and becoming aware of the looks on everyone's faces—whether they were the restrained bandits, Anabelle's group, or even Anabelle herself. Their expressions revealed a mix of fear, shock, betrayal, and disgust. It was a familiar sight, reminiscent of the reactions I had grown accustomed to in my previous life.
A profound feeling of emptiness washed over me as I took in the turmoil my actions had caused. The realization that I had allowed my sadistic nature to take control, surrendering to the violent tendencies I had desperately hoped to leave behind, weighed heavily on my conscience.
"It feels like home," I muttered quietly, my words barely audible against the backdrop of silence.
Memories of a life stained with violence and cruelty resurfaced, forcefully reminding me of the person I once was, and perhaps still am.
In that moment, I understood the depths to which I had fallen. Despite the thrill of battle and the momentary satisfaction of victory, I couldn't deny the moral conflict that raged within me. It would take time for those around me to become accustomed to my extreme actions, as I had not even unleashed my full potential—it simply wasn't worth it.
As the silence persisted, broken only by the sound of my ragged breaths, I grappled with the profound consequences of my actions. The blue haze that had clouded my vision earlier seemed to dissipate, allowing me to witness the aftermath of my wrath with stark clarity. The sight of the blood-soaked battlefield and the mangled bodies of my enemies evoked a twisted sense of beauty within me.
ραndαsnοvεl.cοm With measured steps, I moved forward, approaching Anabelle who sat on the ground, her legs seemingly drained of strength. Her flickering eyes held a mixture of fear and shock as she looked up at me.
Crouching in front of her, I reached out my hand, hoping to offer her comfort, to help her overcome her fear and move forward. But before my hand could make contact, Anabelle brushed it off, her voice quivering as she spoke. It was evident that she was on the verge of tears, and yet she held them back until now.
"D-don't!" Anabelle exclaimed, her voice filled with trembling emotions, her expression betraying her inner turmoil. It was clear that my blood-stained hands repulsed her, evoking a profound sense of remorse and disgust. The crimson stains served as a haunting reminder of her own past traumas, and the weight of their lives must have created a deep crack within our relationship but it wasn't that strong to begin with. I understood why she pulled away, why she rejected my touch.
Anabelle's eyes, filled with a mixture of fear and disappointment, finally found her voice. "Y-you are not my Ruu?" she whispered, her words laced with sorrow.
Her question reverberated through my mind, piercing my conscience and leaving me grappling with answers. I had sought a fresh start, a chance to leave behind the darkness that had consumed me before. Yet, in this moment, I realized that my past had caught up with me, and I had willingly allowed it to consume me once again. I hadn't truly changed, nor did I believe I needed to change now.
I couldn't alter the choices I had made, the lives I had taken. I could have chosen a different path moving forward, but I knew deep down that it wouldn't have been as satisfying or enjoyable as the path I had embraced.
Taking a deep breath, I turned away from the haunting scene before me. The battle had come to an end, and my presence was no longer required. It was time to confront the darkness that resided within my soul and wholeheartedly embrace it, just as I always had.
Walking back, I entered the carriage that had been waiting in the midst of the battle scene all along. Inside, I found her—the mysterious woman. She clutched a small box in her hands, holding it as if it were the most precious jewel, a possession she would give up her life to protect.
Closing the small distance between us, I positioned myself beside her, careful not to stain her delicate veil with my bloodied hands. She observed me with curious eyes, unperturbed by the gruesome scene I embodied.
Leaning closer, my face near her ear, I whispered, "I know the box is empty, my lady." She flinched, displaying a flicker of surprise—the first visible reaction she had shown. I continued, my voice low and commanding, "Don't worry. I don't care what kind of artifact you are using to conceal your mana or who you truly are. All I ask is for your silence, as you have been silent throughout this journey. And when you reach your destination, refrain from attempting anything deceitful with them. Understood." I posed it as a question, though I expected no response. She remained silent, confirming my expectations.
"Good," I affirmed. Reaching into the luggage, I pulled out a towel—perhaps belonging to Ali—and used it to wipe the blood from my hands. I then gathered my belongings and noticed a small red box—the money the merchant had given me as advance payment. I retrieved a few coins from it, feeling that I deserved at least that much.
Stepping out of the carriage, I found the scene unchanged from before—everyone still frozen in the aftermath.
Is it that shocking?I mused to myself.
'Have you taken a good look at yourself?' Blaze answered, reminding me of the unrecognizable figure I had become.
"Hey Henry, I took a few gold coins from inside, probably like 20 or so. I'll be taking that horse with me, hope you don't mind." I tossed five coins at him, but he failed to catch them, and they fell to the ground. Does he not realize the value of five gold coins? It's enough to sustain me for a few months if I spend it wisely. Well, I don't care either way.
I proceeded towards the front of the carriage, where the horses were tethered. Since both the horses that Ali and I rode are now lifeless somewhere, I'll have to use the horse that's been tied to pull the carriage.
"Ren, what are you-" Zark's voice cut through the silence as he approached cautiously, maintaining a few steps of distance.
"Don't worry, I'll be parting ways now," I replied without glancing at him. "I had planned to do so when we reached Ivorygate, but it seems better to leave now. Make sure to take care of Ana; this must have been quite a shock for her." I fully untied the rope and loaded the luggage onto the horse's back.
"But... why? Didn't Henry say not to kill? And what about Anabelle? Look at what you did," Zark exclaimed, gesturing towards Anabelle. Her expression was vacant, devoid of any emotion. Her gaze felt hollow, bet she doesn't get what's happening infront of her.
"Make sure she gets some rest before you leave," I responded nonchalantly. I would have liked to stay and explain what kind of person I am, but I don't have the luxury of time. Ever since the incident in the Illusory Forest Path, I've been feeling a sense of unease.
Mounting the horse, I turned away from the scene, bidding a final farewell to everyone. In truth, I had already made up my mind to leave a few days ago, so it didn't make much difference now.
As I rode a little further, Blaze broke the silence with a question. "You were in love with that girl, right?"
I pondered his words for a moment, reflecting on the complexity of my feelings. "Love?" I repeated, a hint of contemplation in my voice. "For me, love is not a simple emotion. It takes a lot for me to truly love someone, and when I do, I don't easily let go, even if they try to push me away."
As I continued on my solitary journey, I couldn't help but reflect on the nature of love itself. Love was a force that had the power to both heal and destroy, to bring joy and pain in equal measure. It was a delicate balance that required trust, understanding, and a willingness to weather the storms that life inevitably brought.
But for now, I had chosen to walk away. I had chosen to distance myself from the turmoil and the chaos, knowing that my presence would only bring more confusion and uncertainty. Love, in its complexity, demanded sacrifice.
The road ahead was uncertain, and my heart carried the weight of the choices I had made. But as I disappeared into the distance, I held on to the hope that someday, love would find its way back to me, and I would be ready to embrace it with open arms, unburdened by the shadows of my past.
"She fucked up my love life haha." I chuckled as I thought about that person.
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[A/N: Ummm... Sorry I guess.]
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