"I'm a boy?!"
It took quite some time for Kylie to process this. Her brain was going into overdrive as she went into shock. This was unexpected. Completely. Totally.
As if to confirm it even further, Kylie kept opening and closing her legs, just to feel that squiggly bit. Her arms were not formed well enough to actually enable her to reach down and touch it for confirmation, so she could only do this exercise repeatedly until she calmed down.
This time, she was going to be a boy. A guy. With that dangly bit in-between the legs.
As her mind adjusted to the new discovery, Kylie felt rather relieved. Relief that she was going to be reborn as a male, rather than transmigrating into a male body. Adapting would have been SO much harder then. She could imagine the shock people would have at this supposed waste of a man (all stories had the 'old' life being useless) become even more of a waste when 'he' starts to be more effeminate.
If she had transmigrated into a country that was open-minded and that such things were rather normal, it would be fine but if not ... Kylie shuddered to think of what she would have had to do to become a 'real' man.
After the initial shock had subsided, Kylie found that she was not as panicked as she thought she would be. The fact that she could accept the reality that she was going to live life in the complete opposite gender as her previous life may sound unreal, but that's the way she was.
It was a trait of hers, that had been developed in her previous life, and somehow, it became a much stronger trait in this life. When there are things that could not be changed, then she would simply adapt to it and accept it wholeheartedly.
Of course, it goes without saying that if it could be changed then she would work hard to do so. Since this wasn't (short of taking reconstructive surgery), then she would just deal with it.
Kylie shrugged mentally. Actually, this was going to be interesting.
If Kylie was to be perfectly honest, she had always wondered how it would be like to be a boy. Perhaps it was due to her being so untypically female.
A tomboy that was more comfortable in jeans, climbing trees and mixing with boys rather than dressing up. Make-up and dresses? Puh-lease. Plus, the drama of girls had been beyond her. She couldn't understand what was so fun about it. Even as an adult, wearing heels and skirts had never been an option. Sneakers or flat shoes, and jeans were her outfits. Of course, that was only the outward appearance.
Internally? Kylie admits that she did go goo-goo-ga-ga over any hot boys when she was a growing up. She also enjoyed being pampered and looked after as well. So it wasn't like she felt she was a guy living in a woman's body.
Kylie had no real complaints about being a woman, other than having to be more 'girly', so to speak. She did not normally act within society's 'acceptable perceptions or expectations of a woman'.
Kylie began to think even more, digging up old memories and feelings.
If one was to be brutally honest, another aspect in which she had been so untypically female was by the fact that she enjoyed physical intimacy greatly. "Not typical" simply by society's standards, that is. Women having such a high s*x drive was frowned upon by society and labelled as either sluts or loose. It was different for me. Men could have a high s*x drive and even have had multiple partners and would only be viewed as 'normal'.
Kylie sighed internally yet again.
Even her husband couldn't truly fulfil her, and it was really, really weird to be the one who initiated bedroom activities most of the time. It was also extremely exhausting mentally, and eats up at your self-esteem.
Kylie began to feel she was weird and there was something wrong; and worse of all, that she was not desirable. If it wasn't for the fact that her husband would eventually give in to her seduction, she would have thought he was repulsed by her.
Kylie laughed bitterly at the memory of her friends who would complain that their husbands "always wanted it" and they felt "like a piece of meat" sometimes, yet in her case, it was the other way around. No one could understand her feelings and she couldn't even voice them out.
Even that one time that she did, she had gotten this lecture about how inappropriate she was. Kylie rolled her eyes at that memory, as that particular scene flashed again in front of her. Times like this, her HD movie rerun capabilities wasn't quite welcomed.
Kylie's thoughts churned through so many of her past memories, and she remembered her conflicted feelings during those times. Thinking of how it had been before. It wasn't that she had been unhappy as a woman, but it couldn't be denied that she wasn't truly fulfilled as one. But did this mean she could live as a man and be truly fulfilled?
Maybe that was why she was being reborn as a guy this time around. Her soul had been split into two genders, and she was now given this incredible chance to live both sides of the spectrum.
Thinking of it this way … she couldn't help but be excited. Life certainly is going to be so very interesting, and she aimed to live it to the fullest. There is no "what ifs" and "if only". There is only the here, and now. Embrace what you are given and soar with it.
Kylie smiled to herself, feeling contented.
*** ---------****** --------------------
Another month had passed, Kylie is now five months old. Muscles have developed and she could now exercise them. Soft hair has started to grow on her head, and she wondered briefly whether it would be curly, wavy or plain straight up coarse hair. She giggled at that thought.
She started imagining what sort of hairstyles she would like to sport as a guy. A crew cut at the back, with the top being long and wavy a bit? Standard crew cut? Maybe like those Korean idol guys - so long as the fringe didn't cover her eyes, of course. That would be ideal, but it all depended on her genes then. Whether she would have soft or coarse hair. Wavy or straight hair.
Since she could move about now, she decided to do so. Staying in one position all the time was rather boring. It was comfortable but boring. With more muscles, it needed exercise and proper movements. She didn't want to hurt the woman who was carrying her, but moving was essential.
So Kylie began to do it gradually. She stretched a bit and found the space in the womb to be extremely small. What used to be just a sensation of floating in goo, was now akin to being in a tight space.
Kylie was puzzled at this. Well, she certainly was growing, but shouldn't she still be small enough to have more space in the womb? Perhaps her new Mother is a small person like she had been before?
Kylie was worried for a while, as she remembered how much difficulty she had in the final trimester due to her small size. She hoped she wasn't causing too much of a discomfort for Mother as she moved about.
It was some time before Kylie actually managed to make a 180 degrees turn from her previous position. She mentally patted herself on the back for doing it without too much of a grunt of pain from Mother.
Although Kylie's hearing hadn't fully developed yet, she could still make out some sounds. She felt that Mother most likely enjoyed the movements she made, as there were some excited voices whenever she did so.
Sometimes, Kylie could feel a soft, pressing motion on the points that she stretched out. She smiled to herself, imagining that her new Father must be touching Mother's stomach, enjoying feeling the movement.
Kylie had been so engrossed in listening and trying to make out the words that she didn't realise at first that something was touching her hand. When she did, she was shocked and gasped internally. Kylie moved her fingers and felt that the touch sensation disappear. She then started to reach out, groping and searching blindly, before finding something that felt like a ball with small bumbs.
Kylie kept on exploring the bumpy ball and eventually held on to it. She couldn't quite make out what it was that she was holding, but she had a very good idea what it could be. Was it just her imagination? Was she actually holding the umbilical cord?
Kylie shook that thought out. This did not feel like a cord at all and there was no way she could be in a position to touch it. Her eyelids hadn't developed yet, so there was no way for Kylie to open her eyes to see what was in front of her. Instead, she moved her head forward, and closer to "it" … and then bumped her head on it.
Kylie gasped again when she finally realised what it was.
She wasn't alone.
She had a twin.
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