Naruto: Systematic Shinobi

Jiraiya, for a moment, thought he was having some form of crazy fever dream, that or he was just drunk out of his gourd and hallucinating.

"Let me get this straight," he rubbed at the bridge of his nose and looked at the muscular kid, wearing a weird turtle face thing on his shoulder as if it was stylish or something, "During your mission to deliver ore to the Village of Artisans, you found their little noble wannabe ninja planning to revive their dead leader and strike out at the village, that right?"

"Right." the kid nodded, those ominous crimson eyes of his holding his gaze. Eyes that apparently didn't belong to him until yesterday at that…

"So you decided to follow them and spy on them, even when they left the village itself, only to find them meeting up with Raiga Kurosaki, formerly of the Seven Ninja Swordsman?" he asked next.

"Yup." the kid nodded, crosing his absurdly muscular arms for his age.

What kind of crazy training regiment was this kid going through anyway? He was built like a brick shit house. Give him a few years and he may end up making the Raikage look puny.

"With Raiga in tow alongside a partner of his, they travelled to the south of the Land of Rivers, to a massive lake, where the Sanbi was, and drew it out, then using that armour on your shoulder, they drained most of its chakra and then hypnotised it with those eyes you have now to keep it docile…?"

"Pretty much," the kid nodded, pulling his arms out of their crossed position to point at his eyes, "I think they have the ability to cast genjutsu through the eyes like the Sharingan, but I don't really know any proper genjutsu so can't tell yet."

More Genjutsu eyes, lovely stuff that. He'd totally need to look into the possibility of a clan with eyes like that, they could be a real problem in the future if they became enemies.

"Right, more or less with you so far," Jiraiya replied, and he was, and he could understand it. There were plenty of people that wanted to get their hands on the Bijuu, he knew of a specific group in particular after all that was after them, "What I don't get, is what possessed you to pull some maniac plan out of your ass and literally steal the Sanbi out from under them, like seriously kid, what the hell is wrong with you?"

What kind of crazy bastard would willingly seal a bijuu inside themselves? Jinchuuriki were pretty much universally treated like trash. He winced at that as soon as he thought it.

…He really needed to check up on Naruto more often.

The kid gave a flippant shrug, "They wanted to supe up their weapons, revive some guy that fought the Nidaime Hokage and direct a Bijuu at the village," he pointed out as if the answer was obvious, "By sealing the Sanbi inside myself, I made sure that would never happen, even if I died in the process, the Sanbi would take time to reform and invalidate their plans completely."

Jiraiya sighed as he digested the kids words. He wasn't wrong…

That was the problem though.

For a kid this age to be so willing to throw his life away for the village, it made his guts roil. He was a genin for crying out loud, situations like what he apparently got caught up in, were missions for the likes of himself, or at least Kakashi or something.

Not a fresh little rookie, no matter how big his muscles or his skill with seals. Because that definitely couldn't be denied. It was rough around the edges, that but that was a pretty damn solid Four Symbol Seal the kid had put on himself.

"Things worked out pretty well in the end, despite what I thought though," the kid continue on pulling him from his thoughts, "The Sanbi was grateful enough to work with me straight away to put them down, and with them exhausted and with the Sanbi's power amping me up, I killed them all, took their shit and decided to take these eyes while I was at it, I'm pretty good with the Mystical Palm Jutsu so I figured, best not to let them go to waste, y'know?"

No, not 'y'know'! Jiraiya wanted to scream at the boy. Who the hell trivialized ripping out their own eyes and replacing them with another's, talking about it as if it were only worth a passing mention, like the weather or something.

This kid gave him some serious Orochimaru vibes.

…But at least he could admit they were more of the positive kind. Orochimaru would have never confronted a superior force, exhausted or not and steal their prey right out from under them knowing he'd most likely die in the process just to protect the village.

"This is so absurd." Jiraiya shook his head in disbelief, sitting his ass down on the ledge of the roof they were on.

It was such an utterly crazy, off the walls stupid situation of a story, that there was no way the kid could be making it up.

Like seriously, making chakra weapons to subdue a bijuu, teaming up with a member of the seven ninja swordsman and a guy with an unknown doujutsu he'd never even heard of before….to revive a guy who had been dead for well over fifty years now, hell, the guy was dead before Jiraiya was even born for crying out loud and he was an old fogy himself now!

God, the series of events was literally so stupidly retarded that nobody would tell a story like that with a straight face unless it was true.

…And to make things even more ludicrous, the Sanbi apparently had taken a liking to the kid.

He really needed another drink right about now to digest this shit.

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