Naruto: Systematic Shinobi

'Your immaturity knows no bounds.' Isobu commented, deadpan.

'I'm bored, what do you expect?' Daiki shrugged, sitting back down on his chair.

'…And this is the boy in line to be the next Hokage, I fear for the future of this world.' the huge bijuu shook his head in dismay.

'If I become Hokage, let me tell you, mini skirts, booty shorts, cleavage bearing tops and compulsory Hokage lap dances are become mandatory.' he replied.

'….Exactly.' Isobu groaned, 'You know, I know you're playing it up, but I can feel how tempted you are to actually go through with that.'

Hey man, Hokage sounded like such a shit job after the initial benefits. He'd have to get some good fun out of it somehow.

And if he couldn't use the authority of it for someone like that for a laugh, then what was the point of it all?

Too much responsibility for little in return after the initial benefits, did not at all sound like a good time.

Of course there was the bet he had with Tenten going on…

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Unfortunately, despite the brief amusement his doodling of Sasuke's face gave him, it wasn't long before he was back deep within the pitch black ebony pits of boredom.

Damn Orochimaru, if it weren't for him, Daiki would be free to grind away right now and pass the time in muscle burning training. But no, already he'd wasted three hours just sitting guarding Sasuke.

The funny thing was, that besides Kakashi or the Hokage himself, Daiki really was the best choice to guard Sasuke. If it came down to it, he was one of the very few capable of either beating Orochimaru or getting away from him.

So he couldn't even fault the logic of Kakashi leaving him to guard Sasuke.

Though he could sure as hell gripe about it to Isobu, to the huge turtles/tortoise's dismay.

It was a good chance to grind up his whining ability Daiki supposed.

Thankfully, something that could through the gloom of boredom broke him from his thoughts.

A groan escaped Sasuke's lips, the Uchiha shifting noticeably in the infirmary bed, before slowly, his eyes blinked open, clearing his exhaustion.

Thank fuck.

He released a silent yawn, before pushing himself up in his bed and rubbing his eyes.

Then his gaze shifted and fell on Daiki himself.

Sasuke blinked, before rousing fully, "…Daiki?" he mouthed, confused.

"Sup sleepin' beauty," he greeted the boy with a wave, "Have a good sleep?"

Sasuke gave him an odd look, "Why the hell am I waking up besides you of all people?"

"Cuz somebody needed to guard your sissy ass while you were out like a light." Daiki shrugged, grinning.

He blinked once more, before narrowing his eyes, "Since when am I a sissy, and why would I need your loser ass to guard me?" he challenged.

"Since you passed out, again by the way," Daiki shot back, "Well, as far as being a sissy goes at least. The reason I'm guarding you is because Pedomaru tried to come yoink you while you were out like a light so he could sliver up your ass and go all oonga boonga in your body."

Sasuke grimaced in disgust, "…That explains why I'm being guarded, not why you're doing it," he replied, "And do you need to be so disgustingly crude?"

"Yes," he shrugged, unashamed, grinning all the way, "And you already know why I'm guarding you as well, cuz' I'm one of the few people strong enough to beat his ass if he tries anything."

"Bullshit," Sasuke deadpanned, denying his statement, "You're strong for sure, but not that strong."

…Well, he wasn't wrong.

"I am if I use the full power of my Bijuu." Daiki shrugged again.

Sasuke's gaze became drier, "That's not you being strong enough, that's your bijuu you clown," he huffed, "And while we're on the subject, who the hell are you calling a weakling like you did earlier? The only reason you managed to do anything about the seal on your neck is because of your bijuu, relying on another, yet you were trying to say I'd be a weakling loser for relying on Orochimaru's power, which I won't, just saying, you're such a hypocrite Daiki."

"Do as I say, not as I do?" Daiki replied. The Uchiha merely raised an eyebrow at him, "The only hypocrite I like is myself."

"…Utterly shameless," Sasuke scoffed, before smirking at him, "After all that tough talk earlier, you're just as big a loser as you tried to make out I would be if I relied on Orochimaru."

Daiki blinked slowly for a moment, organizing his thoughts, before countering, "At least a snake man doesn't want to anally probe me like he does you."

"And you can never just let anyone get the last word in except for you," Sasuke rolled his eyes, before releasing a deep breath and sobering, his eyes locking with Daiki's own, "Still, thanks. For sticking around and trying to help, even if you can't do anything, it means a lot."

"That's fine, but I never really meant that," Daiki shrugged, "I just knew Orochimaru was listening in and didn't want him to know I actually could fuck that seal up just like I did mine and make it fine for you to use."

"…Oh." Sasuke uttered blankly, before sighing again, his gaze turning dry, "I really hate you sometimes."

"Nah bro, you love me," Daiki smirked, "Obviously I'm gonna do what I can to make sure old pedosnakeymaru doesn't get his slimy hands on you. I can't have him messing up our bromance."

"Another word I have no idea what the meaning of is," Sasuke replied blankly, "Do you just love talking gibberish or something?"

Silly Sasuke.

Daiki shook his head, but instead of explaining, he stood up to his feet and took a deep breath, before-

"You ma' homie! Yea ya' know me!" he broke out into song and sat down on the bed beside Sasuke, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and pulling him into a bro hug, before gesturing out widely with one arm, "And if you ever need a wingman, I'd let any girl blow me~!"

"I understood none of that except for the last part," Sasuke deadpanned, pulling out of Daiki's grip, "And considering you showed an interest in Sakura and Yamanaka, I don't think your standards can get any lower, so that's not really much of a sacrifice on your part."

"Yeah," Daiki nodded, accepting his words, "Well, you're a dickhead." literally. It was hard to take him seriously with the ink glasses, moustache and big ink dick over his forehead spurting ink jizz over his eyes.

Now he was going to laugh even more at Sasuke for his cheek. Who denied a bromance?

He deserved the doodles now.

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