My Dearest General: It Has Always Been You

Jiang Jinyan always felt that the person whom Wei Xiameng wanted to date wasn't the real him, but the him that was generated by others. Earnest, hardworking, gentle, mature, full of freshness of youth.

He met Wei Xiameng after he became an official athlete. At that time, his popularity was growing and he got many endorsements, thus his manager created a small fan meeting event after his first win in the National Championship.

There, he met Wei Xiameng. At first, she was just a usual fan. She came to his first fan meeting, her face entirely red as she handed him a handmade wristband and blurted out, "M—Mr. Jiang, I have always liked you, I have watched all of your matches!"

Jiang Jinyan was just an immature youth, only sixteen years old. In his entire life, it was the first time he received such a heartfelt confession and the other party was delicate and beautiful, just like a little porcelain doll.

Subsequently, they always met in fan meeting events and Jiang Jinyan grew to know her better. Every time, Wei Xiameng would always give him handmade things. Scarf, kneepad, photo album, the collection of his bulletin in newspapers and magazines. In short, they were small, not very useful things but always made him feel warm and treasured. No matter how hard his heart was, being washed by this kind of affection again and again, it ultimately softened and melted into a puddle.

The simple fan-athlete relationship turned into messaging friends, then one outing led to another, finally they established their relationship. It was almost one year later after their first encounter, and Jiang Jinyan had become a well-known public figure. Thus, they dated discreetly.

At first, Wei Xiameng was sensible. Every time Jiang Jinyan was busy with training, she would always smile and say that training was more important. Then, she would secretly come to his training centre, giving him a lunchbox and soup in front of his fellow athlete, really inducing envy and jealousy of others.

Beautiful moments lasted in the beginning. Jiang Jinyan didn't know when everything began to change. The sensible, earnest and beautiful girl turned into a demanding, needy and unreasonable person. She would always be dissatisfied no matter what Jiang Jinyan did, "If we have just announced our relationship at that time, then we don't need to date secretly like this!"

She wanted to show her boyfriend off to the whole world, but Jiang Jinyan couldn't afford to do that. That's why he had always felt guilty and wanted to repay her in some way or another. That's why, he tried to change himself. Be more patient, more sensible, more mature, more accommodating.

Jiang Jinyan didn't know how to treat her well except to give, give and give more.

Turned out, it felt so exhausting to lead such a relationship.

Both of them knew that there's some problems that they didn't address, but as long as everything didn't change then it would be fine. But Jiang Jinyan's accident was just like a prick to burst the air tight balloon, showing them the hideous truth that he didn't want to accept.

He didn't dare to, because dependence was such a scary thing. Once you became accustomed to someone, if they left, it was just like taking half of your heart away. Jiang Jinyan had felt it once before and he didn't want to feel it the second time.

But still, he fell into the same pit.

Wei Xiameng's watery eyes, shining with anger, glared at him. "Fine, I won't touch it! If you're in a bad mood, why are you taking it out on me? You're so childish!"

Childish? He was childish? It was such a long time ago that Jiang Jinyan heard that. How many years had it been? Four, five years ago? And the last person who said it to him was Jiang Huocheng.

Jiang Jinyan gripped the spoon tighter and lowered his eyelashes. All of a sudden, he didn't want to endure anymore. Why should he change for other people? Why…should he live according to other's wishes when the other person didn't even cherish him?

"En, I don't feel so good these days. If you can't bear it, then it's okay. The door is behind you."

It was the first time Jiang Jinyan had ever spoken this way to her. Cold, indifferent with a hint of ridicule. Wei Xiameng stared at him in shock, incredulous. Her large eyes widened and the water glistening around them couldn't be contained anymore, sliding down her fair cheek, creating a wet trail that would induce heartache.

However, to her dismay, Jiang Jinyan didn't even look at her. He poured the soup back into the thermos and closed the lid. "I am quite tired from the therapy." He laid down and closed his eyes, showing his nonchalant back to her.

Wei Xiameng's temper exploded. "I came all the way to see you and this is the attitude you show me?! Jiang Jinyan, how can you be like this?!"

That's true, how can you be like this? Jiang Jinyan bemused.

Silence fell into the room and it didn't take long for rapid and light footsteps to run toward the door, slammed it open and banged it close. Jiang Jinyan slowly opened his eyes and let out a shaking breath. His heart was beating violently and the tip of his fingers chilled.

He thought that he could endure, that he could accept everything. But it turned out that he couldn't. He was just an ordinary human. Not a fake that could act for the rest of his life.

Now, the last person that could offer him warmth was gone.

A drop of tears slowly slid out from the corner of his eyes and disappeared into the pillow.

***

Shi Nian saw Wei Xiameng wipe her tears when she went out. She sat on the bench outside her room, so when Wei Xiameng wanted to go to the elevator, she would have to go past her. Seeing such a scene, Shi Nian's heart felt so heavy that she couldn't breathe.

Why…? He was such a good man, but why did you have to hurt him? Why did you have to do this when he was already like this?

Even though Shi Nian always took pride in her good temper, right now, she couldn't contain her anger. When Wei Xiameng got close, Shi Nian stood up. She didn't even know why she stood up, she just…felt so angry. But what right did she have to be angry?

Wei Xiameng's red and damp eyes lifted. Her nasally voice sounded. "Miss Shi? I am sorry, but I am not in a good condition right now. Sorry." Then, without waiting for her reply, she brushed past her shoulder. Shi Nian didn't stand well and her calf bumped into the edge of the metal bench, causing her to take in a sharp breath due to pain.

It was so painful that tears sprung up in her eyes.

"Shi Nian?" Xu Binchen who had just returned from the bathroom got a shock as he found her sitting pitifully with red rimmed eyes. "What's wrong?" His heart sank, and his long legs propelled him to approach her faster. Urgency filled his tone as he scanned her up and down.

He crouched down to find her watery eyes. "Why are you crying?" The man's voice was unprecedentedly gentle, warm and patient, totally unlike the usual Xu Binchen but unfortunately, Shi Nian didn't realize that.

She shook her head. More than her aching calf, her heart felt more painful and sour.

She didn't have her mother by her side, then that's fine, she still had Doctor Chun, Nurse Zhang and Detective Xu who was always worried about her well being. But Jiang Jinyan…who did he have? Who would be there for him when he's sad? The more Shi Nian thought about it, the more upset she was.

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