My Dearest General: It Has Always Been You

Lei Liqiu held a cup of warm chocolate within her palms and relished on the warmth radiating from the heater near her. The sky had darkened since Xu Binchen went to deal with the aftermath and left Lei Liqiu here in his personal office. It looked tidier than she expected — she heard that he inherited it from the former Captain. It was also now that she knew Xu Binchen had been granted a promotion. 

Thinking about the previous event, Lei Liqiu felt like everything was a dream. She was ambushed by Zhu Zhenli, injured and almost died. The cutter was practically only a few inches away and could easily drill a hole through her body if not for Xu Binchen stopping it with his bare hand.

"Did you wait for long?" Xu Binchen knocked on the door, bringing her out of her daze.

Lei Liqiu's eyes automatically trailed to his palm which was bandaged casually. A faint smear of crimson blood oozed through the gauze. "You… are you okay?"

Xu Binchen looked taken aback as if not expecting that question before letting out another long sigh. Walking in, he crouched down under her feet and scrutinized her leg. "Worry about yourself first, dummy." 

The way he stared so closely at her bare skin made her flush, even though Lei Liqiu knew that he held no intention other than checking her wound out. "I—I'm fine. The medic in your team came just now to bandage me up. He said that I don't need any stitches... fortunately." She sighed in relief. What would she do if a huge scar was left on her leg? That would be awful. 

However, what she received next was a flick on her forehead. 

"Ah!" Lei Liqiu covered her forehead, dumbfounded. "What—What was that for?"

Xu Binchen stared at her intently before shaking his head, a hint of mockery in his expression. Somehow, Lei Liqiu felt like the man had just insulted her intelligence. As she expected, the man blurted out with an incredulous laugh, "Are you an idiot? This kind of thing happens and you can still feel fortunate?"

Lei Liqiu blinked. In the next moment, realization dawned on him. Could it be… 

"Detective Xu, are you...angry? Wait, why were you there? Were you looking for me?"

"Angry? Why should I?" He scoffed, the veins on his forehead popping out. "Do you think I should be angry at someone who has her phone in silent mode? Someone who, instead of running to the main road, heading deeper into the narrow alleys instead? Do you know how long I've been searching for you?"

...Okay, he was angry, indeed.

Lei Liqiu's shoulders slumped down, her tone dejected. "I'm sorry. I thought that I was near home already so I didn't bother to touch my phone. Moreover, I was so scared…" Her throat choked up whenever she recalled the fear and desperation she felt. "How could I discern which way to go?"

"Stop crying." He frowned. "You have cried enough before."

Lei Liqiu rubbed her eyes roughly. "I know! I also don't want to cry but—" Her arms were suddenly grabbed by Xu Binchen. The man took a handkerchief out of nowhere and wiped the corner of her eyes, his movement exceedingly careful and gentle, so did his tone.

"I've told you before that your hands are dirty. Why don't you ever listen to me?"

Lei Liqiu blinked and instead of stopping, her tears poured down even more. She hung her head low and sobbed. "Sorry—I didn't mean to…"

Xu Binchen put the handkerchief into her hand without a word. However, before he could pull away, Lei Liqiu tugged on his fingertips. The girl didn't even exert any strength but for some reason, Xu Binchen couldn't bring himself to pull away. 

"...like you." She sniffled. "I really, really like you. What should I do? I don't care about some stupid suspension bridge effect. I simply like you, is that very wrong?"

"Wait." Xu Binchen glanced at the ajar door with a perplexed look. Right beyond the door were his comrades. He was sure that every single one of them were listening in right now. "Stop—"

"I don't want to!" Lei Liqiu snapped and wailed loudly. "Are you going to reject me again? How can I convince you of my—" Lei Liqiu's eyes widened and her breath hitched in her throat in the next second. Xu Binchen's face was less than an inch away from her. She could clearly see the man's long eyelashes and the piercing eyes that stared straight at her through such close distance. And moreover… this soft sensation on her lips…

Xu Binchen pulled away a few moments later, his voice low and slightly raspy. "Don't be so loud. Do you want everyone to hear you?"

Lei Liqiu gaped. She couldn't even form any word to refute him. Clasping her mouth, she relished in the sensation before; the gentle graze on her lips, the unfamiliar cold breath that carried a hint of tobacco. Her heart thundered madly within her chest and she even forgot to cry. What just happened? Did… Did Xu Binchen just kiss her?!

He sighed and ruffled his hair, then leaned on his table and flipped open a document. "This is just the usual procedure so please answer my questions. After that, I will take you home. First, do you know the identity of the man who attacked you?"

Lei Liqiu gawked at him in disbelief. That's it? He was going to pretend that nothing happened? Nonetheless, noticing Xu Binchen's stare directed toward her, she found herself unable to say anything except for answering his questions one by one.

.

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The drive home was filled with silence, it was suffocating. Lei Liqiu snuck a glance once in a while, wondering what the man was thinking right now. 

Why did Xu Binchen kiss her? Did he...also like her? Then why did he continue to act as usual? Or could he be the kind of person who was able to kiss anyone without special feelings?!

"Stop hitting your forehead again and again," The man's sudden voice broke the silence, carrying with it a light sigh. 

Lei Liqiu gritted her teeth and braced herself. "Detective Xu, w—why did you kiss me earlier?!" She held her breath and waited for the answer.

There was silence. Then the man suddenly turned the steering wheel and parked by the side of the road. Both his hands rested on the wheel as he stared ahead blankly as if pondering what he should say. 

Lei Liqiu bit her lips, her fingertips trembled. Damn, this was more nerve-wracking than a job interview! Was this also how someone felt when they waited for their life's verdict? She couldn't help but grumble. "Can't you skip the thinking and tell me directly? Is it something you should ponder over for that long?"

A short chuckle escaped his lips, so short that when she lifted her head up, it had vanished without a trace. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel and started, "You're making me confused, Lei Liqiu."

She blinked, bewildered. Wasn't she the one who was supposed to say that? "How…?"

Instead of answering, Xu Binchen said. "Growing up, I have never known how liking someone feels like. My parents aren't exactly affectionate with me and my older sister is an independent woman. I guess I am affected by them, thinking that I don't need anyone in my life. The first person who made me feel something different is Shi Nian."

Hearing the girl's name, Lei Liqiu's heart tightened. 

"Seeing her struggle so desperately yet still retained such a positive outlook, I am intrigued. The curiosity turned to pity and then... compassionate. I didn't want to see her get hurt, I wanted to help her get through the ordeal and accompany her until the end. Naïvely, I thought...I was the only one who could do that. But I'm wrong. From the start, Shi Nian has always been strong. She didn't need anyone — or to be exact, she hasn't found anyone whom she could share her burden with."

Lei Liqiu inhaled deeply. "Are you confessing your feelings to her in front of me now?"

Unexpectedly, Xu Binchen gave a smile. Not the kind of sardonic, sarcastic or fake smile, but a genuine one which she had never seen before. It made her heart skip a beat. "I don't know. Maybe I just need to let it out. As you may know, she already got a boyfriend and they cherished each other so much. For a person who's never meant to stay, I won't beg them to. At first, I thought it would take some time for me to come to terms with my feelings but I'm wrong yet again." He shrugged helplessly. "Maybe my logic is just too strong that it dulls my emotions."

Turning to Lei Liqiu, he smiled again. "That's why I am confused about your behavior. Time and time again, I have clearly expressed my rejection but you still surprised me each time you showed up. Then one day, I suddenly noticed that I kinda looked forward to the time when you would come."

Her eyes widened in shock. "You mean—"

"I don't like you." He said mercilessly.

Lei Liqiu glared, the rims of her eyes reddened. Her soaring heart instantly crashed back to the ground. "Do you have to say it like that?!

"To be exact, I don't understand." He finished with a sigh. "What it feels like to treasure someone enough to be desperate, to beg them to stay when they walk away, to feel like half of your soul is gone when the other person leaves— I don't understand."

"So, Lei Liqiu…" Under the light from the streetlamp which illuminated his side profile, he gave a grin. His eyes gleaming with a childlike shine she had never expected to see in him, as if he had just found something fascinating and couldn't wait to explore it. "Are you interested in teaching me about it? I sought you out today to ask that."

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Xu x Lei — The End

A/N: Yep this is the end :) for me, this is the perfect ending for both of them. The rest of it, I will leave it to your own imagination lol 

Xu Binchen is just too logical to be overwhelmed with emotion (except for when he's sick). It's really hard for him to understand love. Before, Ru Meiqi has said before that his weakness is the type of girls who are earnest, straightforward and stupidly adorable. Now, he has given Lei Liqiu a chance so...it's all up to her how to proceed from now on hehehe

Next is Jiang x Shi and then it will really be the end QAQ

Let's see....maybe they will still appear as cameo fufufu

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