He stared at the way her long hair swayed as she started walking away, and the way she didn’t look back at him.
Their relationship had just improved and he was scared that she would once again close herself off emotionally. He walked after her but stopped in his tracks when she spoke up again, this time, her voice heavy with sadness.
"I’m not a good woman. In fact, I’m a horrible woman. It wasn’t just evil thoughts. I’ve done things beyond what you can imagine. I have used people and betrayed them. I have blood on my hands, blood that will never go away. I-I’m not a good person." She suddenly turned around, this time, she was no longer docile. Her eyes were fierce and though she sounded emotional, she wasn’t on the verge of tears.
"I can never change the past. When I close my eyes, all I see are the people I broke, the bonds I’ve severed, and all the awful things I have done! I’m such a bad person, I’m a villain, and-" Zhao Lifei’s voice became muffled when Yang Feng pulled her into a tight hug.
For once, he saw how truly vulnerable she was. His impression of her had always been of someone confident and daring. Was this how she thought about herself?
"You said it yourself, the past can never be changed, my dear. Instead of worrying about the past, learn from it. See it as a meaningful lesson and let it go. And besides, there are no pure people in the world. We have all done bad things, not just you. We both know that our families had reached their peak by being ruthless and eliminating everyone in our way. Being kind to your enemies is treating yourself badly. Survival of the fittest is just how the world works."
A chord within her heart was strung by his meaningful words. She knew deep in her heart that if there was someone who could understand how it feels to be one with their dark side, it would be Yang Feng.
She blinked once, twice, and thrice until the words finally settled into her brain, imprinting permanently. One that would be there forever, even when she has lost all sorts of hope for herself...
His words had brought her back to the present and she finally realized how intimate they were. She was crushed against his strong embrace, but not in an uncomfortable manner. Shrouded by his intoxicating scent and his tender touch, her eyes struggled to stay open.
All her life, she had never been enclosed within anyone else’s arms except his. Every single instance of genuine physical intimacy she has gotten had happened when he entered her life. The comforting feeling was new to her that she gave in to the temptation of sleep.
When Yang Feng noticed how quiet she had become, he glanced down and saw she had fallen asleep. He stared at her lashes and the way it gently framed her dry eyes. He was pleasantly surprised to see she hadn’t cried. Even though she felt weak and vulnerable, she was still strong enough to manage her emotions. What a truly amazing woman, inside and out.
He looked forward to her future and the long road ahead of them. He couldn’t wait to see her shed off her emotional baggage and fully embrace the powerful woman that she already is.
He had dug deep into her background, enough to know that the true brains behind the brilliant business plans that boosted Zheng Corporation into another level. Aside from that, he had been informed on the means she had used in making sure that every single one of those socialites was under her control. It truly was unfathomable how one man was able to push her to this state.
"You successfully evaded your way out of eating." He quietly chuckled upon realizing she wasn’t going to eat dinner again. He sighed and decided that tomorrow morning, he would cook her a hearty breakfast.
She was technically still standing, albeit asleep in his embrace, so he struggled with picking her up bridal style. After a few futile attempts, he decided to just lift her up and carry her like a child. WIth her face comfortably resting on his shoulder, she snuggled closer to him in her sleep. He had one hand resting underneath her bottom and the other pressing her back into his chest.
"You’re so spoiled." He fondly said out loud upon realizing what he was doing to her. Even as she was asleep, her brain still wanted to argue with him. She mumbled something and he could only understand one phrase from it.
"I’m not..." She unconsciously said, even though she was deep in her sleep.
He laughed at whatever dream she was having for her to speak it out loud.
"That’s alright. Be spoiled rotten by me. So much that no other man can ever replace me in your life." He fondly told her, walking her into her room. Immediately, the rose scent flooded his nose, teasing it, and clouding his mind.
"I’ll turn you into a spoiled brat so that even if you want to run away from me, no one can ever go above the level of pampering I gave you." He said to her as he set her down on the bed and tucked her in. He smiled when he realized that he had done this same routine with her last night. Would he be carrying her again to bed tomorrow night? That’s a great idea.
"Pampered..." She repeated after him, lost in a blissful dream.
He pulled the blankets up to her chin. "Yes, pampered." He adjusted the pillows so that she was in a very comfortable position. After making sure she was securely wrapped in blankets, he got up to leave but then, she reached out again.
"I’m cold." She suddenly blurted out, despite the fact that her eyes were closed. He wondered if she avidly spoke in her sleep.
Yang Feng checked the temperature in the room and saw it was warmer than usual. That would explain why his tie felt more suffocating than usual. He took off his suit jacket and his tie before casually tossing it to the floor as he walked back to the bed.
"It’s not cold in here." He replied to her, but she didn’t say anything back. He looked at the sleeping woman’s stray arm that had come out of the blanket.
When he tried to put the arm back into the blanket, he was surprised when her hand grabbed a few of his fingers.
"You really don’t want me to leave, do you?" He teased her, pinching her cheeks. She didn’t say anything, but he couldn’t bring it within himself to leave her.
He tried to push her hand away, but it was firmly holding onto him, refusing to let go. "Don’t punch me in the morning for this." He mumbled before climbing into her bed and going under the blanket himself. Instantly, she inched towards the incredible warmth radiating from beside her.
"I don’t understand why you like being this warm so much, it’s unbearable." He mumbled, opening his arm and pulling her closer to him. Despite his complaints and dislike towards the warmer climate, he still obliged by her wishes.
In her dream, she was in the antarctic where the wind was biting cold. Suddenly, an igloo popped up and what came with it was a heater. When she thought she was walking to the heater in her dream, she was actually attempting to snuggle onto Yang Feng.
He bit his lips in amusement before fully embracing her. It made his chest swell with happiness to see her so willing to be around him, even if she was just dreaming. "Good night, darling." He whispered to her, closing his eyes and falling into a blissful sleep — one that he didn’t have in a very long time.
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