[Part 1/5]
In an era without electricity or gas, staying warm was literally a matter of life and death. Clothing, not just blankets, was expensive due to being handcrafted, and even firewood and charcoal were not free.
Regularly letting in cold air for ventilation was necessary, but if they ran out of fuel during the winter, it would be a serious problem. In the cold villages, families gathered together around the hearth or a brazier, huddling in straw futons to keep warm.
And that's why I think this room is like heaven.
'Hey, hey? What's wrong? Why are you spacing out?'
"...Oh, it's nothing."
I replied with a smile that seemed glued to my face as I looked at the black-haired young girl who was staring at me curiously. I tried to deceive her, to pretend that everything was okay. We both huddled under the thick blankets, chatting away.
Yes, winters in the Northern region are cold. That's why the young girl in front of me, my master, has locked herself in. Even though it's already past the morning and approaching noon, she refuses to leave. Taking advantage of her lack of discipline, she invited a commoner of the same age as her to play the role of a hot water bottle and indulge in this siege warfare.
'He-heh... so warm!!'
"Princess, it's quite improper to cling to me like this, isn't it...?"'I don't care about what's proper!'
This land is blessed with the protection of spiritual veins, and the room is well-insulated. The luxurious futons only add to the warmth. However, the young girl clings to me even more, seeking further warmth.
I already knew that her actions were not merely seeking warmth. I knew, but... I acted as if I didn't notice. I pretended not to see it. It was all part of my scheme, a selfish desire.
'...Hey, ◼️◼️?'
After clinging to me like a baby for a while, the young girl suddenly looked up at my face as if she had sensed something. She gazed at me with upturned eyes, seeming worried.
"...What is it, Princess?"
'Hey, ◼️◼️. Does ◼️◼️ care about me?'
"...What do you want to say?"
I replied with a pasted-on smile, feigning ignorance. The young girl in front of me still clung to me as she slightly lowered her gaze.
Then, with an air of genuine concern, she murmured sadly.
'You see... earlier, I heard them say... that ◼️◼️ doesn't really care about me. That you're just with me because you can feel good. That's why... they think you're just putting up with me, that you probably hate me.'
"..."
She mutters sadly and anxiously, and I just silently respond to her. Did she hear this... behind her back? No, if it's direct, is someone telling her? In any case, jealousy and backbiting are terrible. They whisper even to this child.
'You know what! I think I'm giving ◼️◼️ a lot of trouble! I think I'm selfish! I think I'm making you feel bad, don't I? So I think I deserve to be cut off!'
Feeling genuinely anxious and sad, she confessed her own wrongdoing and sins.
'But you know! I'm sure there are lots of good things about ◼️◼️ too! I... if I try hard, I can do anything for you, right? I'll do my best to help you in any way I can!'
She emphasized and pleaded, fawning over me.
'That's why... that's why... you won't abandon me, right?'
Her voice was now filled with emotions, not just questioning or confirming. For a moment, silence filled the space under the blankets. The young girl's face turned pale, filled with anxiety, and she stared at me.
"...Of course, I care about you, Princess. I won't deny that there may be some dissatisfaction with me, but that's a different matter."
'Ah...'
I gave a wry smile and embraced her, and the young princess let out a small surprised voice. Her delicate and slender body, held tightly in my arms, exuded the warmth typical of children.
"Princess, you are an important person to me. If I benefit from being with you, of course, it makes me happy. However, even without any gains or losses, I truly cherish you."
I whispered in her ear, mocking myself for saying such words. I stoked the flames of a pure and innocent child's suspicion and anxiety.
'Really? You don't hate me, ◼️◼️? Will you protect me? Help me? Stay with me like a family?'
In a trembling voice filled with fear, the princess asked again, not so much seeking confirmation but wanting to hear the answer itself. And so, I complied with her wish.
"Of course. Princess, I will never abandon you. I will never let go of your hand. You are... my ally."
I spoke gently, promising her with unwavering sincerity.
'Is that true, ◼️◼️? Were you really thinking of me?'
"Uh?"
Suddenly, she made a pointed remark, and I was left dumbfounded. When I looked again, she was no longer a young girl; instead, she was a female exorcist holding a sword with a cold gaze that pierced through me. The scenery had changed. This was no longer the warm bedroom of a young girl but a desolate land. Where was this? I felt like I had seen it somewhere before, but where...?
Unfortunately, I couldn't find the answer. Besides, she started her interrogation.
'If that's the case, why did you betray me? Why didn't you rescue me from that place? You could have done it. Or am I wrong?'
"That's not... That's not possible!"
'Don't lie to me!'
The young girl screamed and yelled. Crimson flames danced around her body, engulfing everything in their path.
'You knew better than anyone else! Isn't that right? On that day, you should have had other options! But you, out of your own self-interest and fear of straying from the path, put me back in that cage!'
"No, no, what are you saying...!?"
Hina's words were accusing and condemning, and I couldn't understand their meaning. However, they struck a chord of guilt and confusion within me. Panicking, I moved backward.
Something soft touched my back, and I shivered as I turned around. A plump man looked down on me, blocking my escape.
'How dare you repay the favor I gave you with betrayal? Your audacity knows no bounds, it seems. I suppose lowly blood cannot be changed, can it?'
He sneered at me, his words filled with disdain, and at the same time, I felt overwhelming guilt within me. I couldn't deny anything.
"T-that's not..."
'Don't run away.'
I tried desperately to say something in my defense, but before I could even begin, I was ruthlessly told the truth.
'So, you toyed with me?'
'You used me?'
'You abandoned me?'
'You plotted against me?'
'Traitor.'
'Ungrateful.'
''You pest!!''
"Khh...!?"
I almost unconsciously fled from that place. I didn't understand. I didn't understand anything. Why did it have to come to this? Why does my heart ache so much? Why... why am I so scared of being blamed like this?
"Haa... haa... haa... Where am I?"
Due to the difference in physical abilities, I thought they would catch up to me and kill me immediately. However, that didn't happen. I ran so much that I lost track of time, and in the end, I arrived at a cold village. A familiar village. An old, old memory. It was my hometown...
'Truly, you were a curse child.'
"...!!?"
The voice was achingly nostalgic, yet inherently cold and indifferent. When I turned around, there was a slender woman dressed in shabby traditional Japanese clothing, with cold and piercing eyes. Her eyes were filled with deep disgust as she looked at me.
'You wretched child. It's all because of you. It's because I was conceived by a brat like you, I was driven away from my birthplace...'
She held herself as if recalling a painful memory, and I couldn't find the right words to say. I had no words to offer. I didn't have the right to say anything.
'Moreover, you intend to take away the happiness I finally grasped, don't you?'
"Ah..."
I tried to come up with an excuse, but my words were silenced by the presence of a young girl who had somehow appeared by my side. My consciousness was drawn to the 'legs' she was hugging...
'Brother (Nii-chan), did father lose his legs because of you?'
"That's...!!?"
Her words squeezed my heart. I felt nauseous. My sins were exposed. My face contorted in despair.
'Yukine, come over here. You shouldn't stay with him. He'll consume you too.'
As the haggard woman whispered, the mischievous child ran over, leaving red marks on the pure white snow-covered ground. The mother embraced her daughter and glared at me with even more contempt.
'Please stop. Don't look at me with those covetous eyes. I didn't want to give birth to you, a cursed child. Not to mention the soul inside...'
The woman's gaze was no longer that of a mother looking at her son; it was a gaze of seeing a stranger, a monster, a hideous creature... And the child in her arms stared at me with innocent, pure eyes. She looked at me and tilted her head.
'Aren't you my brother?'
"...!?"
No! I wanted to scream, but when I tried to speak, I hesitated. Was I really? No, that's not it. What's more important here is not blood relation. What's more important is... was there ever a place for me in that family?
Was I... Was I ever glad to be born? Is my soul truly connected to this body...?
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