🦀 Characters

The big crab himself. Or rather, the giant crab. Standing only half as tall as an adult human but twice as wide, Balthazar still stands proudly head and shoulders above the rest. Or at least he would, if he had an actual head and shoulders.

With eight legs, two mighty pincers, and a pristine carapace of gray chitin, the crustacean is clever and oftentimes cunning, except for when his pride or lack of knowledge of the world gets in the way. Despite his best efforts, most who get to know him quickly realize that under that hard shell is a soft, kind heart hiding behind a crabby attitude and a lot of snark.

Balthazar spent his whole life in the small area around his little pond, under the shade of a mountain and next to an old road crossing the vast plains. With no friends or even family, all the little crab knew growing up were the small fish in the water that he caught to eat, the surrounding boulders he napped on while sunbathing, and the pestering birds above that would swoop by to steal his food or simply annoy him.

He had convinced himself that solitude was great, and that he did not need anyone else. His life of peace and quiet was perfect, other people were nothing but nuisances, and going out of your comfort zone to explore the outside world was for suckers.

That all changed the day he touched a mysterious scroll, found out what coins were, and that pastries are delicious.

Level: 3

A young goblin, small even by his kind’s standards. Barely the size of a human child, Druma had found himself ostracized by his tribe, deemed too physically weak and too soft of temperament.

He crossed paths with Balthazar while being used as an enslaved pack mule by an evil dark mage adventurer. Upset by the creature’s misery, the crab swiftly talked his way into trading an old spell tome for the goblin.

Since then Druma has become the merchant’s loyal assistant, having gone from a sickly pale grayish tone to a much healthier green thanks to a rich diet of meat pies. The goblin is always seen wearing an oversized wizard hat that Balthazar gave him, and he dreams of one day being a real wizard.

Level: 30

A stone golem, formed from Balthazar’s favorite boulder near the pond when the crab used a rare Golem Core he obtained from a strange old wizard in exchange for just a couple of potions.

His body is made up of gray stone and stands nearly three times the size of a human. The gentle giant has an unbreakable bond with the crab, having been his best (and only) friend growing up while still just an inanimate rock.

His entire vocabulary seems to consist of just the word “friend,” but what he lacks in words or intellect, he more than makes up for in raw strength and kind friendship for his friend and his friend’s friends. Friends. 🗿

Level: 16

Hatched from an old egg Balthazar traded from an adventurer along with a bottle of dodgy rum, she is a young drake with an attitude and enough sass to rival the merchant’s own.

She started small enough to fit in Madeleine’s hands (who adores her and the drake adores her back), but has quickly grown several times that size, with no signs of being done yet. Her scales are a vivid blue (hence the name, because Balthazar is just that original at naming things) while the inner side of her wings and her eyes are a deep golden yellow.

Despite drakes not being actual dragons (which are much larger and able to speak), she still has the typical pride of the draconic races, much to Balthazar’s exasperation, as they both have to slowly learn to respect and work with each other.

Level: 4

A local baker from Ardville, she may well be Balthazar’s favorite person in the whole world, if we don’t count himself, of course. The maker of the very first slice of pie the crab ever tasted, he made it his goal to find her out and have her come down to his pond to meet him.

Fair-skinned, green-eyed, and with strawberry blonde hair usually tied into a braid, the kind hearted girl is ever the optimist, as sweet as her pies, and nothing fills her with more joy than watching people enjoying her baked goods. But when those she cares about are threatened, she will show there is also room in her heart for a lot of bravery as well. And that her rolling pin isn’t just good for straightening dough.

Level: 12

An adventurer, and one of the few that Balthazar seems to tolerate, perhaps even like.

About as young as Madeleine, he is an archer, always seen carrying his bow and quiver, along with light clothing or armor to allow him to move swiftly, usually in green and white colors. His hair is a straw type of blond, tied back in a small ponytail, along with a light goatee, or at least an attempt at growing one, as far as Balthazar sees it.

He has a clear crush on Madeleine, and the fact that the feeling is mutual is plain to see for Balthazar, his friends, and even the cobblestones on the road, but not for Rye. He’s still trying to work out how to ask her.

Level: 10

Formerly the town drunk, the once disgraced merchant at the hands of his old business partner, Antoine, has found a new purpose as Balthazar’s business partner.

Level: 9

Once a woman who owned an inn in Ardville, she was cursed and turned into a toad by the witch Velvet at Antoine’s request. Held captive by him and forced to work on ruining Balthazar’s business, the amphibian and the crustacean eventually made peace, and she has become someone the crab trusts enough to look after his bazaar.

Level: 12

Balthazar’s nemesis, he was the biggest merchant in Ardville, as well as the Guildmaster of their Merchant’s Guild.

Under his pompous and arrogant attitude, expensive fancy clothes, and irritating pencil mustache, he is little more than a conniving little man who cheated and backstabbed his way to the top, until the day he heard about a roadside crab making business nearby and made the mistake of trying to put a stop to it.

Level: 42

A witch who always wears black. Her age is unclear, as while she appears like a good-looking middle-aged woman, that is likely a magical ruse. She wants a leg or two from Balthazar for some unknown end, and claims to find him a great catch.

Level: 67

A very old and apparently slightly senile wizard, Tweedus wears a long white beard down to his knees and a wizard attire seemingly put together at random. His mismatching eyes give him an even more lunatic look, but underneath it all, he seems far more powerful than most would guess.

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Levels: 20 & 19

An adventurer duo Balthazar met very early on and that later became regular visitors to his place. Jack refuses to let go of an enchanted (or perhaps cursed?) sword which becomes more powerful but also heavier the more he uses it, leading to him shedding more and more of his other equipment over time, to the point where he runs around almost naked, much to Leah’s frustration, as she seems to be the reasonable one of the team, always watching over her companion’s recklessness.

Level: 16

An old carpenter from Ardville that helped with the construction of Balthazar’s Bazaar, he is a simple man with a salt and pepper beard who always carries his trusty smoking pipe on his lip. Wiser than he lets through, the retired craftsman often has some sage advice to share, even if not in the most direct way.

Level: 5

The skeleton merchant from a low level dungeon called Tudor’s Hall. Wears an old ragged suit, wide-brim hat full of moth holes, and carries a large sack of loot on one shoulder together with a firefly lantern on a stick over the other. Fond of joking and of some dark humor, he has become both a good trading partner and confidant to the crab.

Level: 8

A thief-class adventurer, who is not very good at thieving. Caught trying to steal from Balthazar once, the crab recruited him as an informant. He always appears hidden inside a fake bush. Whether that is purely for camouflage, or simply due to his cowardice, the crab isn’t yet sure.

Level: 32

An enchantress, she visited the crab’s trading post once, and seemed far more aware of the inner workings of the world than most other adventurers. She quickly figured out Balthazar’s unique circumstances and took an interest in them as a possible key to revealing the mysteries of the system.

Level: 25

Or just Khargol, he is the chieftain of the orcs and has become an ally to Balthazar. Stern, stoic, and strong, the impressive tribe leader has shown to also be sharp of mind and clever enough to stand against even the crab in a battle of wits.

Levels: 15

Khargol’s two Warrior-brothers, usually seen accompanying him on his trips to the pond.

Level: 20

The orc tribe’s elder shaman, brought to the pond by them to help with finding a cure to save Druma’s life after a wolf attack. She is (apparently?) blind, but seems to see enough to tell there is something special and different about Balthazar, having left him with a cryptic warning after they met.

Level: 22

The envoy of the lizardfolk, another of the beastfolk tribes. Ceremonious and soft-spoken, he and Khargol seem to know each other for a long time and have a good relationship. This lizard commander wields a spear with great skill and appears to be a cunning tactician.

Level: 20

Jorg’ath’s watcher, she speaks little and is seen even less. Masterful at being stealthy, the purple-eyed shadowstalker is ever loyal to her commander, and together they flow in battle as one.

Level: 6

An unremarkable adventurer and regular client of Balthazar’s who seems to have a strange thing for looting footwear.

Level: 12

A knight paladin adventurer who takes her rolepla… her noble mission very seriously. Balthazar met her once when Druma was ill, and asked her to find petals of frostshade, which she immediately took as a quest to embark on, much to the crab’s frustration.

Level: 15

The initially dreaded tax officer from Ardville, Balthazar eventually came to learn he was not as terrible as his position would lead to believe. The elderly man wears a small pair of thinly-framed glasses, usually hanging on the tip of his nose, and despite being a stickler for rules and laws, a sugary treat or two seem to be enough to hit the sweet spot that softens him up.

Level: Unknown

A loud and proud bear of a man, the mayor of Ardville is a no-nonsense type of leader who doesn’t seem afraid to get his hands dirty and his boots in the mud when it comes to getting business done. He visited the crab at his pond once and in their short meeting left the crab with an alliance, a trade deal, and a few degrees of deafness.

Level: ???

An (apparent) human adventurer who passed by Balthazar’s bazaar once, mostly covered in black rags and wrapped in many bandages. He left no name or much else in terms of information, except for a golden statuette and a fancy tale about how it used to belong to a dragon, a story Balthazar instantly marked as a fabrication to make the item seem more valuable, just like the ones the crab would often make up himself.

Level: 75

Dragons had not been seen in the land for generations, until this one showed up flying over Ardville and Balthazar’s pond, looking for a certain statuette that had been stolen from its hoard. In the end, the creature took Madeleine in its clutches as a replacement.

Level: does it even have one??

A mysterious talking bird who showed up to Balthazar one night. Clearly far more than just a common flying annoyance, this apparent “manager” stripped the crab of his levels, skills, and system access due to all the chaos his unintended use of it was causing.

🌴 Places

The name of the world where Balthazar’s tale takes place.

The official name given to Balthazar’s territory by him during the crab’s first meeting with Ardville’s mayor.

The name of the crab’s trading post by the pond.

The neighboring human town near Balthazar’s pond.

The snow-capped mountain over the crab’s pond from which its waters flow.

The dense forest directly south of the pond.

A low level beginner dungeon, home of the skeleton merchant Tom and his many bony friends.

A small deserted beach on the coast west of the pond, past the plains, and apparently where every new adventurer first appears upon entering Heartha.

🥧 Things

Humans who took on a life of adventure, questing, and looting, these strangers from unknown lands seem to be the only ones gifted with the ability to level up, gain special skills, and use some kind of “system” only they can see. Mostly regarded as special and respected heroes, nobody really knows how or why they are on Heartha, not even themselves, their memories always mysteriously hazy about the details of their old lives and whatever happened that got them here.

Anyone who isn’t an adventurer and is native to the world of Heartha is a “local.” Usually oblivious to anything to do with “systems” or any such adventurer business, one of their other defining characteristics is the inability to gain levels, unlike adventurers.

A mysterious piece of parchment with the power to let new adventurers (or, you know, a crab) pick their attributes, classes, and skills, in order to start their adventurer journey.

The strange text in Balthazar’s eyes that provides information on his levels, stats, skills, etc. Only intended for adventurers, the consequences of its use by a local crab are apparently unpredictable, even for those managing it from behind the veil.

A skill Balthazar gained early on, which allowed him to give his shell golden properties, boosting his charisma, as well as silver for his left pincer and iron for the right one. Apparently, this skill was quite broken in the old system and its effects would never expire as intended.

A supposedly rare bottle of rum that Balthazar traded at one point from a wandering adventurer. It has a terrible smell and, despite how many times it has passed the hands of so many characters, none of them have ever actually tasted it, and so it keeps turning up around the crab's place, always unconsumed.

Also known as crowns, they are the currency of the land. Balthazar loves coins, both because he found he could purchase pies with them, and because they are shiny, and the crab loves shiny.

Delicious.

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