Merchant Crab

“Hey, kid,” said Balthazar, approaching the little girl he had met earlier in the guild house.

Suze looked up from her sitting spot on the edge of the dock. She was busy counting the handful of coins in her palm, and cocked an eyebrow at the crab.

“Oh, it’s you again, Mr. Lobster,” said the street urchin. “I don’t have your calipers anymore, if that’s what you came looking for.”

“I told you already, I’m a crab, not a lobster!” the annoyed crustacean told her.

“Tomato, crabo, same thing,” Suze said with a nonchalant shrug.

“And no, I didn’t come looking for the calipers,” said Balthazar. “I actually came to seek your services again.”

The girl pocketed her money and looked at the crab with both eyebrows now raised.

“Really? That never happened before. Usually after my tour there’s some yelling and throwing of things while people chase me down the street, but no one ever asks for a second one.”

She stood up from the floor and patted the dust off her legs.

The little rascal extended her open hand towards the crab, her nose held high as she waited for payment.

Balthazar found her attitude vexing but also, in a tiny, deep down way… relatable.

“I’m not looking for another tour,” he said. “I was hoping you could help me with something else.”

“With what?” said the kid, retreating her hand and crossing her arms.

“How well do you know these streets?” the merchant asked.

“Like the back of my hand,” Suze promptly replied. “I have decades of experience in them.”

Balthazar’s eyestalks arched in suspicious confusion. “Didn’t you say you’re like ten, or something?”

“Yeah, but living in the streets really ages you, plus I work a lot of extra hours to earn my coin.” She gave him a quick shrug. “It adds up.”

“Whatever,” the crab said. “The point is, I need someone who knows this city’s streets, and can help me navigate my way through the more… unsavory spots. To reach the less… recommendable crowds.”

“You wanna talk to the bandits,” the girl bluntly said, while rolling her eyes.

“Uh… yeah.”

“Coulda just come out and said that.”

The merchant frowned in slight annoyance. “Can you help me or not?”

“Sure, I can help you find those mango thieves for the baroness.”

“Great, I was really—” Balthazar stopped, and his eyestalks jumped in place. “Wait, who said anything about the baroness?! I didn’t say I was looking for the mango thieves for the baroness!”

Suze tilted her head to the side, giving him the most “really?” stare he never imagined a child could give.

“If you guys wanted to keep your connection a secret then maybe you shouldn’t have been walking around the guildhall together,” the girl said. “Shiny mayor strolling around with a giant crawfish next to her kinda stands out. Everybody knows she’s been trying to catch those mango thieves. Even a child can put two and two together, you know?”

Balthazar frowned in double annoyance.

“You weren’t supposed to know that. And I’m not a crawfish!”

“Don’t hate me because I’m smart,” said Suze, while throwing her hair back. “And yeah, I can help you, but it will cost you a lot more than two coins.”

“How much?” the suddenly apprehensive crab asked.

The little girl paused, counting with her fingers while mouthing silently.

“At least five coins.”

“Oh… Alright then,” the merchant said.

“Wait, no, you accepted that way too fast,” Suze said, pausing again to count in her head. “It will cost you five coins… times five!”

“Hey now, hold on!” Balthazar exclaimed. “That’s 25 crowns.”

“It is? Dang it, I thought it was 50,” said the disappointed rascal.

“How about I make you a different deal for your help?” the crab suggested.

The kid shook her head. “I don’t need more calipers, thanks.”

“No, no,” the merchant quickly said. “Something much better.”

“Better than coin?” asked the skeptical girl, arms still crossed, as she cocked an eyebrow at him.

Balthazar smiled. “Do you like pie?”

***

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

Daylight was quickly fading, but Balthazar was relieved to find Margo’s Baking Boutique still open.

With Suze in tow, the crab stepped into the shop, ringing the tiny bell as he pushed the door open. Madame Margo popped her head out from behind a shelf, looking towards the door.

“Oh, Mr. Balthazar, you’re back already,” she said.

“As I said I would!” the gleeful crustacean said. “I was hoping you still have some mango pie left.”

“Lucky you! I have just one,” the shopkeeper said, whisking herself to the counter.

As she crossed the shop floor, her eyes landed on the street urchin behind Balthazar, browsing the displays around her with wide eyes like someone who had never seen so much candy together.

“Oh, no, no, no,” Margo exclaimed, wagging a finger. “Excuse me, young miss, but I think you must be lost. We don’t have anything to give out today, please try a different store.”

Suze frowned as the woman tried to shoo her towards the door, but as she opened her mouth to no doubt give Margo a piece of her outspoken mind, Balthazar intervened.

“She’s with me, Madame Margo! I brought her along.”

The shop owner froze and turned to him with surprise on her face. “Really?”

“Yes!” the traveler assertively replied.

“So she’s with you? And you’re paying for her, right?”

“…yes,” he responded, with a little more dismay.

“Very well,” Madame Margo said. “If you’re sure…”

The woman returned to the counter, while Suze threw her tongue out and made a rude gesture towards the back of the baker’s head.

“Behave,” Balthazar muttered while they moved to the counter as well.

“So, another slice for you?” Margo asked, while bringing a plate of pie up to the wooden surface.

“Yes, please!” the bright-eyed crab said.

“And two for me!” the kid next to him exclaimed, somehow even more bright-eyed.

The baker eyed the girl before her gaze jumped to Balthazar, as if looking for confirmation.

The crab bounced his shell from side to side as he rolled his eyes up. “Yeah, sure, go on…”

“Actually, make it three!” Suze exclaimed. “I’m starving!”

“What?! That’s not what we agreed to!” the agitated crustacean said.

“I agreed to help you if you got me pie. No pie, no help.”

Grumbling, Balthazar nodded at the shopkeeper to proceed.

As soon as the plate landed in front of her, the little girl pounced on it like a hungry animal on its prey.

Madame Margo watched on with a scandalized expression, the fork she was about to place next to the plate still pinched between her fingers as the street urchin gobbled up large pieces of the pie with her hands.

Balthazar stared at her with a small chunk of his own slice held in his pincer, mouth half open in bafflement.

So this is what Madeleine must feel like whenever she brings me a pie…

“Itsh justsh sho good,” Suze said, her mouth full and her eyes glistening.

The crab smiled and finally remembered to toss his piece of pie into his mouth.

He had almost forgotten how pies tasted better when eaten with company.

“So,” Margo said, “I trust my letter to our mayor found its way to where it needed to go?”

“Oh, yes, of course,” Balthazar said, between chewing. “I gave it to one of the guild girls at the front desk, and she forwarded it to the baroness.”

“Any clue who’s been taking your mango supply?” the little girl with cream all around her mouth suddenly asked.

The crab’s eyestalks jumped up from his plate. “Suze! What are you doing?!”

“What?” she said. “I thought the reason you wanted to come here was because their supply has been hit by the thieves multiple times and would be a good place to start looking for leads.”

Balthazar stared at the kid for a few seconds, blinking as he thought about it.

I just wanted to come back here for the pie…

“I mean, of course, that was all part of the plan,” the crustacean suddenly said. “But you weren’t supposed to be so obvious about it. People weren’t supposed to know that the baroness asked me to find the mango thieves.”

Suze paused halfway through taking another generous bite onto her second slice of pie.

“I didn’t say anything about that,” she said, rolling her eyes. “But you just did.”

“Oh…” whispered the traveling merchant.

“Oh my!” exclaimed the Marquessian merchant, leaning forward on her counter. “So the baroness has finally gotten someone to investigate the fiends taking our mangoes?”

“I… can’t confirm nor deny that, Madame Margo!” the nervous crustacean said, trying to keep his eyes on the pie.

“Little late for that…” Suze said, while nibbling on her slice.

“Ah, of course!” the boutique owner said. “I understand now. Baroness Marquessa must have hired you from far away to maintain a low profile and catch these thieves off-guard. A private investigator who must keep secrecy to perform his investigation. It all makes sense!”

Balthazar stared dumbfounded at the baker, mango cream on both corners of his mouth.

It does?!

“Don’t you worry, Mr. Balthazar,” the woman said, lowering her voice to an unnecessary whisper. “I will make sure to keep your investigation under wraps.”

She made a zipping motion in front of her lips and leaned back to close the kitchen door.

“Everybody knows she’s the biggest gossip in town,” Suze whispered to the crab.

“You know,” the baker started, still whispering, “there was one thing my Marvin told me earlier…”

“What was it?” Balthazar asked, leaning closer to her along with Suze.

“He said that before the guards came and sent him away, he looked inside the barn where the stolen mangoes were, and he noticed a very strong onion smell.”

The crab frowned. “Who stores mangoes next to onions?!”

“That’s the thing,” said the shopkeeper, “our supplier doesn’t even produce anything other than fruits. That barn stocks nothing but mangoes.”

“Hmm…” said the thoughtful crustacean, rubbing his chin full of crumbs.

“Come on, I know where we need to go,” Suze said, quickly shoving the third slice of pie in her mouth with unsettling ease that impressed even the crab.

“What?! Just like that?” he said. “I haven’t even finished my pie yet!”

“Well, I didn’t mean to be rude or anything,” the store owner said, “but I am past my closing hours.”

“Perfect!” the little girl said, looking out the shop’s window. “It’s night already. Let’s go.”

“Go where?!” Balthazar asked, hurriedly pulling his money bag while trying to finish his mango pie.

“Oh, please, no need to pay this time,” Madame Margo said. “If you can find those damnable mango thieves, I will be happy to let you have all the free pie you can eat.”

Thrilled, but still in a hurry to keep up with the kid already heading for the door, Balthazar skittered after her, one cheek still full of pie.

“Slow down!” he pleaded. “It’s nighttime, shouldn’t we tuck in and keep looking in the morning?”

Suze turned to him, shaking her head in disapproval.

“Silly fish. You want to find those bandits, don’t you?”

“Uh… yes?”

“Do you think thieves hang around in the open during the day?”

“Oh…”

The excited girl pulled the door open with a loud “ding” of the bell above.

“It’s time you got to know Marquessa at night!”

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