Maybe a Fake Gintama

December 31st, evening.

At Yoshiwara, in Kawaki's room, the Umibouzu family, Yorozuya, Seita, Otae, and the Hyakka led by Tsukuyo are all gathered together, happily drinking and watching the New Year's Eve NHK Red and White Singing Competition.

"Cheer up, Brother Kawaki…" Seita advises Kawaki, lying face down on the table looking utterly sad, "It's New Year's Eve; you should be happier on such a day."

"Hehe…" Kawaki's face is twisted with a playfully tormented expression, "Kids wouldn't understand the feeling of an adult who has been forced to participate in at least twelve hours of matchmaking sessions every day since Christmas… Ah, I want to die…"

"If you don't want to participate, why not refuse?"

"Shut up!" Kawaki whispers sharply, making a shushing gesture and then glancing towards Kouka to ensure he wasn't overheard before he relaxes, "Just shut up, endure it for one more day; Sister Kouka will be leaving tomorrow night."

"Why are you so obedient only in front of your sister?" Seita scoffs, showing a face of disdain, "That sister complex is disgusting."

"Hey, believe it or not, I'll throw you out right now, you little brat," Kawaki threatens in a low, expressionless tone.

"Everyone! This OTAKU said he's taking us all to karaoke!" a drunken Gintoki announces to the crowd, pointing at Kawaki.

"Hey, when did I say that?" Kawaki's forehead throbs with a vein popping, "And why are you even here? I don't remember inviting you all."

"Yorozuya is a package deal!" Gintoki slurs, then pats Kawaki on the shoulder and try to console him, "Burp~ And don't be so uptight, man. We used to share shorts as kids, remember? Burp~"

"No, I don't recall ever having such a childhood," Kawaki retorts expressionlessly, "And the only one who couldn't tell shorts apart was you, always wearing other people's freshly laundered shorts hung outside. Do you remember how many times Takaji fought you over that? And why did you only go after Takaji's fancier shorts but completely ignore Zura's crotchless shorts? You did that on purpose, didn't you? Absolutely on purpose."

"I haven't forgotten…"

Hearing this, Kawaki's pupils dilate in shock and disbelief as he stares at Gintoki.

"Hehe, burp~" Gintoki belches again and then turns back to the crowd, "Hey! This OTAKU says he's also treating us to a champagne tower from Champagne King~."

"Hey! I never said that!"

"Mommy, it's karaoke-aru! It's a fun thing to do at night on Earth!" Kagura excitedly explains to Kouka.

"Oh, is that so?" Kouka smiles lightly, "I'm looking forward to it."

"Shinpachi, you're not allowed to touch the microphone today!" Kagura says sternly.

"Why not?!" Shinpachi protests, exasperated, "I've been preparing all year for today!"

"What kind of preparation?" Kawaki scoffs, eyes rolling, "Did you assume I'd take you to karaoke on New Year's Eve?! Have you been preparing since the start of the year?! Hey—!!"

…

When everyone leaves the karaoke bar, it's already 4 AM.

"Ah, I'm dying, my head is going to explode…" Kawaki groans, walking along and murmuring, "I want to die…"

"Hahaha, Kawaki, you really drank too much," Shinpachi laughs, supporting a tipsy Gintoki.

"Hey, this guy is unaware, it's infuriating!" Kawaki complains, squinting, "Why can't you notice it? If you don't know, rewatch the Kyubei's birthday episodes, you tone-deaf glasses!"

Pointing at the Hyakka members all supporting each other, he adds, "Don't you realise how lethal you are?"

"You're one to talk," Tsukuyo remarks dryly, "You two are equally bad."

"Ah? Really?" Kawaki squints, puzzled.

"Anyway, today's expenses are coming out of your gaming budget for the next half-year," Tsukuyo says calmly, exhaling a puff of smoke.

"That's too much!" Kawaki panics, "A trip to karaoke can't cost that much? At most, it's a month's worth, right?"

"No, that includes compensation for the bystanders and staff who suffered mental anguish from hearing your singing."

"Shinpachi!!"

…

Yoshiwara, 5 AM.

Kawaki sits alone on the rooftop, quietly looking at the gradually brightening sky.

"It's similar…" Gintoki's voice comes from behind Kawaki, "That lady and that person really… look alike."

"Maybe…" Kawaki smiles softly.

"Their eyes… are the same," Gintoki sits beside him, "Gentle, sad, and incomprehensible eyes, just like yours just now."

"Hangover?" Kawaki turns to look at Gintoki and chuckles softly.

"No, not a hangover." Gintoki looks seriously at Kawaki, "Hey, you…"

"Tired, tired…" Not letting Gintoki finish, Kawaki stands up and stretches, "Goodbye, Gintoki."

With that, Kawaki jumps off the roof edge.

Watching Kawaki's lazy departing figure from below, Gintoki stays silent for a long while before lifting his gaze to the sky, his eyes empty.

[Maybe, I've stayed here too long… even Gintoki…] Kawaki thinks as he walks, [But… it's not time yet, just a little more… the final bit…]

…

Kawaki doesn't return to his room but instead stops outside Kouka's door, quietly listening to her flipping through pages of female profiles and marking them seriously.

After a full half-hour, Kawaki slowly turns and heads to his room.

[This feeling is unexpectedly not bad…] Kawaki smiles faintly.

…

At 10 AM, having only slept for three hours, Kawaki is awakened by Kagura's noisy chatter.

"Are we continuing today?" Kawaki, dressed and in the living room, looks despondent.

"No, today we're going to visit a shrine! Little Uncle!" Kagura, bundled up and ready to go, informs Kawaki, "Hurry up-aru! We're just waiting for you!"

"Thank goodness, I finally don't have to go to that boring matchmaking session," Kawaki expresses his relief.

…

Although it's just an ordinary shrine, it's unusually crowded today, and Kawaki and the others queue for nearly an hour.

After offering coins, ringing the bell, praying, and drawing fortunes, it's well past lunchtime.

"Wow! I got the best fortune!" Kagura exclaims in the restaurant on the streets of Edo after seeing her fortune for the day.

"I got one too!" Shinpachi exclaims excitedly, "Maybe today will bring some good luck!"

"I feel like I'm going to win a lot today!" Gintoki, also with a top fortune, says happily.

"Mommy and Papi got them too!" Kagura glances at the fortunes in Kouka's and Umibouzu's hands.

"I got one as well, maybe this year I really will be blessed," Otae smiles, her eyes narrowing.

"Sister Kagura, I got one too!" Seita says excitedly, "That means the wish I just made will definitely come true!"

"Hah? That wish about being desk-mates with that girl called Lili after school starts?" Kawaki speaks harshly, then scoffs, "Really, such an early bloomer."

"Why would you know that?!" Seita blushes and yells, "Did you sneak a look?!"

"Do I need to sneak a look?" Kawaki waves his hand dismissively, "It's written all over your face."

"Shut up! You lowly fortune OTAKU!" Seita retorts angrily.

"Pfft, I don't believe in this stuff," Kawaki casually tosses his own fortune into a nearby trash can.

"Tsukki, you... like Little Uncle, got a terrible fortune," Kagura glances at Tsukuyo's fortune beside Kawaki.

"Did you catch the idiot's bad luck?" Gintoki comments offhandedly.

Puff—(the sound of kunai embedding in the brain) Tsss—(the sound of blood spraying)

Thump! (the sound of a body hitting the table.)

"Gin-san!" Shinpachi hurriedly pulls the kunai from Gintoki's head.

"Yikes, seeing such bright red on the first day of the year, that's lucky," Kawaki squints, smiling.

"It's not lucky at all!" Shinpachi shakes Gintoki, ranting, "Maybe it's lucky for others, but for Gin-san, it's hellish red! Hey! Pull yourself together, Gin-san—!"

"Guess... getting a great fortune is also a lie," Gintoki rolls his eyes, his body still twitching occasionally, muttering to himself.

…

In the afternoon, since there's only one afternoon left before Kouka returns to Planet Kouan, Kagura spends the entire afternoon enjoying her last moments with her.

Dusk.

"Hey, aren't you going? Isn't she your sister?" Tsukuyo steps into Kawaki's room, looking at him playing games at his computer, "There's only two hours left."

"Don't talk about it like it's the end," Kawaki responds without turning, "It's not just 'two hours left.' Someday, whether it's Sister Kouka or not, everyone can live happily together. I... have always thought that."

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