Maybe a Fake Gintama

"[I'm beside a sh*t-like samurai called Gin-san. Other than the weekend, I have sexual [Beep—] all day and night. By the way, my XP is... ]" Before Kawaki could finish speaking, he was stopped by the furious Shinpachi and Gintoki at the same time.

"Wait a minute!!" ×2

"What's wrong?" Kawaki looked at the two of them and asked doubtfully.

"What else? Why do you have to add the adjective "sh*t-like" behind Gin-san? This is simply unnecessary!" Gintoki roared with veins popping out.

"No, although there is no problem with that, the rest of the content is basically no different from Gin-san's version! It's just that the turned on is replaced by sexual [Beep—]!" Shinpachi shouted.

"Hey! Glasses!" Gintoki turned to look at Shinpachi beside him.

"But haven't I already gotten rid of the turned on according to your request?" Kawaki spread his hands and sighed softly while complaining, "What else are you dissatisfied about? I think it's better to say this in advance and let the other party be prepared."

"It's not necessary at all! And why would you expose your XP in the letter to your pen pal?! It's not at that level!" Shinpachi complained crazily. Then, he turned around and left. He continued angrily, "That's enough. I will use the first half of Kondo-san and reject everything later!"

...

[... What about you? Miss Urara, what kind of life are you living? ]

"Miss, the ocean breeze is not good for your health." The butler behind her looked at the open window and reminded her.

"It's all right. Please leave it open." The elder sister shook her head lightly and then picked up the brush to write a reply...

...

Koudoukan.

[Shinpachi-san also has an elder sister. I also have an elder sister. However, unlike Shinpachi's elder sister, she is a weak and sickly elder sister. Because she has been in poor health since she was a child, she has always been alone at home. ]

[She has been living in seclusion at home, and even though she is in good health now, she still cannot communicate well with others. The only ones who can talk are me, the younger sister, and our butler, Sebasu Chanzo.]

(ps: Sebasu Chanzo: Can also be pronounced the same as Sebas-chan/Sebastian, a common butler name in the ACG field)

[And on the rare days she does go outside, she gazes out at the ocean towards far off lands. She's unable to cast off the shell she has built around herself. What do you think about a sister like that?]

After reading the letter in his hand, everyone present was silent. Kawaki and Gintoki were fine. They were very indifferent. Shinpachi frowned. There were several black lines in the corner of his eyes.

"She really latched onto the topic of an elder sister more than I imagined..." Kondo murmured.

"No, it's not about latching on the topic. Everything she wrote is all about the elder sister!" Kawaki continued.

"She didn't write anything about herself at all..." Shinpachi murmured.

"That's why I told you to skip the elder sister topic." Gintoki complained, "You talked so much about your sister in the letter. What are you going to do? Change the topic immediately."

"But you can't just change it like this..." Kondo crossed one of his arms over his chest and rested his chin on his other hand as if he was thinking about something, "The other party is her biological sister. You have to persuade her gently before changing the topic."

"I think so too." Kawaki crossed his arms and nodded, "After all, her sister will become your sister after you got married. So you should be very careful about this topic."

"Hey, Kawaki-san, can you stop talking about marriage? It's too early, isn't it?" Shinpachi complained expressionlessly. Then, he turned around and looked at the brush and paper on the table. He scratched his hair and sighed bitterly, "But when it comes to follow-up, how do you do it?"

As he spoke, Shinpachi suddenly thought of something. He turned his head to look at Kawaki again, his face full of enthusiasm as he pleaded, "Kawaki-san! I still need you at this moment! Take out the momentum you used to Hijikata-san and Katsura-san to help me! I beg you!"

"No, no, no. I can't do it." Kawaki quickly waved his hand, "Women and men are two completely different creatures. Their brain circuits are not on the same level. Of course, if you really want me to do it, I will also work hard!"

"No, forget it..." Shinpachi lowered his head and sighed, "If I give it to Kawaki-san, it will definitely be worse. The other party will definitely blacklist me like in the chat software... What should I do?"

As soon as Shinpachi finished speaking, Toshiro's voice came from outside the window.

"Ah, you are really here." Toshiro leaned against the window, his other hand holding a lit cigarette. He looked at Kondo in the room and complained, "Kondo-san, you should stop before you go too far. You don't work at working time and wander around everywhere. Can you put yourself in my place trying to follow up for you?"

"Oh! You came at the right time!" Kondo's eyes lit up, "Follow-up Man! Hijikata Toshiro!"

"Ah?"

Kondo continued, "He handles all the problem kids and follows up with them every day. With Toshi, there's nothing he can't follow up!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Read this first," Kondo picked up a few letters on the table and handed them to Toshiro. "Toshiro-follow!"

"Cut the Toshi-follow! It's Toshiro! And why should I?"

"Please, I'm counting on you Follow Hijikata-san!" Shinpachi pleaded.

"Get your naming straight! Nothing makes sense!"

...

In the end, under the pleading of Kondo and Shinpachi, Toshiro had no choice but to sit in the room and read the letters.

"Hey, Four Eyes, what do you think is good about this kind of woman?" After reading the letter in his hand, Toshiro looked up at Shinpachi, frowned, and murmured, "No matter how you look at it, this woman is an X-blood woman."

"X-blood?" Shinpachi was puzzled.

"Women with the X-blood type are all self-centered and do not listen to others at all." Toshiro explained seriously, "They only know how to talk to themselves and only care about topics they are interested in. If this type of person is not good at fooling around, they will be long-distance and long-winded. Although they say so, it will not be useful if they insist on changing the topic. It must be done very cleverly."

(Because it will increase the prejudice against different blood types, the X is used instead.)

Hearing this, Kawaki showed an expression of "I see" and nodded in deep thought.

"Hey, what happened? Does he have a grudge against the woman with the X-blood type?" Gintoki pointed at Toshiro and asked Kondo.

"Of course not!" Toshiro retorted.

"Toshi, haven't you gotten over it yet?" Kondo crossed his arms and turned around to look at Toshiro.

"Don't talk nonsense!"

"However, what popular men say is really different," Shinpachi praised, "It's all up to you! Xkata-san!"

"Don't change the way you address me!"

"[Beep——] blood type will find that you can't get much done today, but hang in there," Gintoki said to himself.

"[Beep—] blood type might get caught in a sudden shower. When you go out, remember to bring an umbrella." Kondo continued.

"That's just fortune-telling! Besides, why would it only rain on [Beep—] blood type" Toshiro shouted.

"If divination doesn't work, then it's better to just—[Beep——] blood type XP is... woo..." Before Kawaki could finish speaking, his mouth was covered by Shinpachi, who had quick reflexes.

"Shut up! Kawaki-san!" Shinpachi reminded him in a low voice.

Gintoki pinched his chin and muttered, "In short, we have to use a wonderful way to trick them and then change the topic naturally without them noticing."

As he spoke, Gintoki chuckled and continued, "It's just a small matter. Leave it to me."

After saying that, Gintoki directly sat down in front of the book table and began to write on the white paper with a brush.

[I feel a heartache when I think about your sister, but Urara's feelings for her sister can definitely be conveyed to her. One day, she will open her heart to you. When it comes to opening, when will Urara open her legs to me... ]

"The connection is too unnatural!" Shinpachi shouted with veins popping out, "What kind of topic have you changed into? The primitive people are better at talking than you!"

"When you are in love, everyone will return to the primitive." Gintoki turned around and explained.

"Then you go back alone! Don't come back!"

"This is too outrageous," Kondo crossed his arms and said dismissively, "It didn't connect to the main point at all, and it didn't seriously consider the sister's affairs at all!"

As he spoke, Kondo directly stood up and walked to the desk. Seeing this, Gintoki moved to the side. Kondo sat down and began writing without hesitation.

[When I think about your sister... I get turned on.]

"What's the difference?!" Shinpachi stared with bloodshot eyes and roared, "Don't talk nonsense. You're only thinking about my sister! Even an amoeba can do better than that!"

"Everyone gets gooey in love." Kondo turned his head and explained with some embarrassment.

"You're the only one whose head is gooey!"

"It really makes people laugh their teeth out. What kind of expert is this? It makes people want to vomit." Kawaki snorted disdainfully. Then he stood up, sat down at the table, and picked up a brush, "Look carefully! It should be like this!"

[Urara is also a good child who cares about her sister, just like me; in fact, I am too. However, you don't have to worry about your sister. Right now, you and I may not be able to help her with anything, but I believe we will one day help her break out of the cage. Because the strength of one person is limited, but if it is two or even three people, I believe it can be done. So, leave it to me!]

"Hey, it's pretty good, Kawaki-san!" Shinpachi praised, "It's a lot more serious now! It feels like we're partners! Alright, keep this momentum. Come on, Kawaki-san!"

Hearing this, Kawaki raised the corner of his mouth, and at the same time, the tip of his brush moved.

That's why you don't have to worry. One day, your sister will definitely open her heart just like how you opened your legs that were attracted by my exuberant sexual [Beep——]!]

"Wait a minute!!" Shinpachi shouted loudly with veins popping out, "Why did it turn into this kind of gangster topic in the end? Aren't you too impatient? Why? And why do you have to say it like the exuberant sexual [Beep—] can save her sister? There is no connection at all! How exactly are you going to save her sister?!"

"No, I just think it's better to be more direct," Kawaki turned around, crossed his arms, and snorted as he explained, "I hate to follow the steps step by step the most. Whether it's a woman or a man, it should be more direct when everyone gets along with each other. Isn't the purpose of being in love just to be able to [Beep——] in an open manner?"

"Not at all!" Shinpachi retorted without hesitation. Then he sighed heavily and turned to look at Toshiro with a pitiful look, "Hijikata-san..."

"Eh?" Toshiro, who was holding a cigarette, was stunned for a moment. Then, he chuckled, stood up, and went to the desk, "Well, I can't help it..."

After that, Toshiro sat up, crumpled the paper that Kawaki had written, and threw it behind him. Then, he picked up the brush.

[You seem to be very concerned about your sister. But I don't think you need to be. I can't feel sorry for your sister, nor do I have words of encouragement for her. After all, she does have a friend. Me...I will be your sister's friend. If she's unable to break out of her shell, then I will come to break it for her!]

Looking at Toshiro who was writing on the paper like a madman, Kondo exclaimed in disbelief, "What?! It's so straightforward from the beginning, what a rotten fool!"

"Moreover, it has deviated from follow-up into an agreement to meet!" Shinpachi exclaimed.

Toshiro did not stop writing on paper.

[... Please let me meet your sister... Oh, please forgive me for bringing it up so suddenly. I've said some noble things. But actually, I'm not such a great guy. After all, I...I just...I just... want to meet you!]

"There's the follow-up! We followed up with Urara at the end!" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"This is not the end!" Toshiro replied. At the same time, he dipped the brush into a white ink and directly erase the last [want to meet you] sentence, "We erase this part. And now it's the end!"

"You erased it?! The line about wanting to meet her?! Why?!" Shinpachi was puzzled.

Kondo's pupils slightly trembled and he muttered in disbelief, "Could... could it be that... [want to meet you] is a part that an innocent boy like Shinpachi couldn't write because of his shyness."

"Then... that is to show [I feel shy after writing it down]..." Gintoki couldn't help but take a step back.

"Too... too dazzling... to be able to do this." Kawaki widened his eyes in disbelief as he looked at Toshiro who had turned around to light a cigarette leisurely.

"He actually follow up like he was Shinpachi..." Kondo muttered.

"Perfect!" Shinpachi exclaimed in shock.

"This is perfect! This is..." Gintoki also widened his eyes and looked at Toshiro.

"The Follow-kata Toshi-follow!!" ×4

"Don't just stand there," Toshiro picked up the letter that had just been written on the table, folded it up, and handed it to Shinpachi, "Send it over quickly."

"Yes!" After Shinpachi received the letter, he directly bowed, "Thank you so much!"

After saying that, Shinpachi directly turned around, opened the door, and rushed out.

...

Listening to Shinpachi's footsteps, Gintoki chuckled and then slightly turned his head to glance at Kondo and Toshiro behind him, "Hey, you guys, I won't thank you."

"I understand. If you are a man, you will experience such a moment." Kondo crossed his arms and smiled.

Then, the four men in the room laughed at the same time...

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