Ashleigh was about to repeat her answer, to say that it was the best way to search for natural talent among the candidates. But something about how Alice was asking made Ashleigh realize that there seemed to be something she wasn’t understanding.
Ashleigh shook her head, and Alice smiled. It wasn’t the usual mischievous or malicious smile. This one was gentle. The way she smiled at the twins just before she explained to them something they didn’t understand.
“You were right when you said that I train people to do what I did for Spring,” Alice began, “but you were wrong about what that is.”
“What do you mean?” Ashleigh asked.
Alice took a step back and motioned to the couch.
“Please, have a seat.”
Ashleigh nodded and sat down on the far end of the couch. Alice sat on the opposite end and turned to face her sister-in-law.
“What I did for Spring was far more than simply spying,” Alice smiled. “I was an informant, a scout, an assassin, and much more… but my main obligation to Spring was to forget myself.”
Ashleigh furrowed her brow. Of course, she knew about Alice’s situation, her time as the doll, and all that entailed. It had taken a long time for Ashleigh to understand and accept what it meant. Alice was not responsible for many of her actions during her time with Spring.
But that had been the result of the drugs they had given her throughout her life. Making her forget herself and become whoever they wanted her to be.
Alice saw the look of concern that crossed over Ashliegh’s face. She chuckled.
“Don’t worry, I haven’t reintroduced teatime,” she said. “But each of my students must learn to separate themselves from their work and the things they learn. It's fundamental to the task. If you cannot shed your skin and become someone else, how can you hope to blend into the crowd? To appear as though you belong amongst those who have never met you?”
“That makes sense,” Ashleigh commented.
Alice nodded.
ραΠdαsΝοvεl ƈοm “I refuse to accept a student that has been recommended to me for various reasons, but the primary reason is quite simple,” Alice continued. She looked at Ashleigh with a simple smile. “Mixed loyalties.”
Ashleigh had already assumed as much. It had always made sense to her that the Alpha should not pick someone to become a spy.
“I understand that,” Ashleigh said. “Any Alpha would pick someone particularly loyal to them, which runs the risk of that person only reporting the information that the Alpha would want to be shared with the other packs.”
Alice nodded.
“But I’m not an Alpha,” Ashleigh said. “My recommending Maeve doesn’t cause any kind of risk like that.”
Alice sighed.
“Do you think Alphas are the only people with power over others?” She asked. “That only they command enough loyalty and respect to influence someone to put them and their needs above all others?”
Ashleigh furrowed her brows.
“Even if I held that kind of power, I wouldn’t do that,” she said.
Alice smiled and looked at Ashleigh.
“Really?” Alice asked, leaning forward with her elbow bent upward on her knee.
“Of course not,” Ashleigh replied immediately.
“But you already have,” Alice said, tilting her head to rest her cheek against her palm.
“What?” Ashleigh asked. “No, I haven’t. Never.”
“Fiona,” Alice said. “Galen… The whole of Summer.”
Ashleigh’s eyes widened.
“Axel,” Alice stated. “Myka.”
Ashleigh swallowed.
“That was…” she began to reply.
“Caleb.”
Ashleigh clenched her jaw.
Alice sat up and took a deep breath, keeping her eyes on Ashleigh.
“Every one of those people, and others, at one point or another, compromised their values and, at times, their lives… for you.”
Ashleigh looked away and swallowed.
“That was a long time ago,” she said quietly. “You said that you didn’t blame me for Moonguard…”
“I don’t,” Alice said. “This isn’t about blame, Ashleigh. I am simply reminding you that you have more influence on people than you realize.”
Ashleigh took a deep breath.
“And in the past, you have realized it. Sometimes, even assumed it,” Alice continued.
“What?”
Alice smiled.
“Do you not remember that you tried to exert that influence over me?” she asked. “That you came to me, knowing I was pregnant, and still demanded that I guide you through Spring because I ‘owed’ you?”
Ashleigh tightened her hands into fists, her nails digging into her palms. She took a deep breath through her nose and looked away. Slowly she released her breath and clenched her teeth as she tried to remain calm.
“I was not in my right mind back then…” she said quietly. “I have apologized… I have tried my best to make up for those mistakes…”
“I know,” Alice replied with a nod. “You’ve done a great job.”
“Then why are you throwing it in my face now?” Ashleigh asked through gritted teeth.
“I’m trying to make you understand,” Alice said, leaning back on the couch. “You encouraged Axel to convince me to return to work.”
Ashleigh turned at the sudden change of topic.
“You told him that as our interactions with the packs worldwide became more frequent, we needed to prepare for any possible threat they might pose.”
Ashleigh nodded.
“Yes,” she replied. “We didn’t know any of them very well at the time. Even Summer had limited interactions, yet we were suddenly working together to keep the fae under control all over the world.”
Alice looked at Ashleigh.
“You think that I train people to snoop and spy. To find secrets to hold onto and then use against people and take advantage of their trust,” Alice said. “You have always assumed that anything I do is devious somehow.”
Ashleigh furrowed her brows as Alice turned away to look up at the ceiling and let out a gentle laugh.
“Yet you encouraged my involvement with the packs. And now, you want me to recruit your friend,” Alice smiled. “But you still have no idea what I actually do.”
Ashleigh sat forward and swallowed. She took a deep breath and looked at Alice.
“Then tell me.”
Alice turned her head. She stared at Ashleigh for a long moment.
“You first,” she said. “Tell me why you want me to train Maeve. Specifically. Why me?”
Ashleigh thought about it. Why did she want Alice to train Maeve? Yes, she acknowledged Alice’s fighting skills. In many ways, she also had an appreciation for her questionable amount of knowledge.
But Alice was right. She had always held her with suspicion. Always assumed there was some trick behind her words and actions. Even after all these years, after all the times Alice had proven herself a member of Winter or her family, Ashleigh still held doubt.
So why, of all people, would she want Alice to be the one to train Maeve?
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