Chapter 689 You've Changed
Perhaps, Raelle was really tired, she soon fell asleep while hugging Shui Xian. He heard her long and even breathing but didn't stop caressing her back. His eyes were closed but his thoughts were a mess. Even when he held her in his arms, he felt like he lost something today. But that was true. He lost big time.
He lost the chance to see a child who would have looked like him and Raelle. He didn't know if they'd have another child in their life but one thing could never be changed. The child they lost today would never come back to them. And this reminder really hurt.
Even though he hadn't slept all night, he still wasn't able to sleep. He kept his eyes closed and tried to relax but he was still wide awake after trying for a couple of hours. Sighing to himself, he opened his eyes and looked at Raelle's sleeping face. Dropping a kiss on her forehead, he tried to get up but felt a tug at his shirt. He looked down to find that she had fisted his shirt tightly all this while.
Shui Xian didn't know why at this very moment he was reminded of the way her tears fell down, but it almost made him tear up once again. Shui Xian slowly uncurled her fingers and put her hand on her side. He went to the bathroom and washed his face. Running the wet fingers through his hair, he walked out.
As soon as he stepped out of the ward, he saw Zhai Yanjun who had been waiting patiently all this while. Seeing the door open, he looked up and once his eyes met Shui Xian, Zhai Yanjun stopped.
"When did you come?" asked Shui Xian.
"Just a while ago," answered Zhai Yanjun.
Obviously, Shui Xian didn't believe his words. Even if Zhai Yanjun didn't tell him that he had been waiting for hours, Shui Xian could still understand that Zhai Yanjun had been here for more than just a while.
To be very honest, Shui Xian was touched.
For a while, there was only silence between them and both didn't know what to say. Zhai Yanjun was tongue-tied. Well, he had never been really good with words because of his introverted personality. It was only around Hyson that he'd become a chatterbox who loved to banter for no reason.
But at times like these, he was finding it difficult to find the right words. What was he even supposed to say? Was he supposed to offer his condolences or was he supposed to comfort Shui Xian? Whichever one it was, he was bad at both. He could only offer his support in silence.
"How is Saozi?" he finally found something to ask.
"She is doing fine," answered Shui Xian. "She is resting now or else, I'd have let you meet her."
"It's okay," said Zhai Yanjun. "I'll see her when she is awake. She needs rest. So, I won't disturb her."
Shui Xian looked at him and said, "Thank you for coming!"
Zhai Yanjun gave him a look, "Is there even a need to say that between us? You always come whenever I need you, so you should already know I'll always be there for you as well."
Shui Xian pulled out a small but sincere smile of gratitude, "That's very reassuring."
Again, silence followed and both just stood there, not knowing what to do.
"Do..." Zhai Yanjun opened his mouth to ask, "Do you wanna talk about it?"
"We usually talk over drinks," said Shui Xian trying to sound playful and casual.
Zhai Yanjun bit his lips and said, "Wait here."
Seeing him leaving, Shui Xian wondered out loud, "Don't tell me this idiot is gonna bring alcohol inside the hospital."
But thankfully, Zhai Yanjun hadn't gone that far yet. He just pulled Shui Xian to a side to sit down and offered him a cup of coffee saying, "It's not the right time or place for drinks. So, make do with coffee. Besides, you look like you need it badly right now."
Shui Xian silently took the cup of coffee from him and took a sip. Maybe he really needed it after tossing about so much since last night.
"How are you?" asked Zhai Yanjun which surprised Shui Xian a little. No one else had asked him that question today except for his own wife. He didn't think Zhai Yanjun, the person who was oblivious to even his own feelings most of the time would actually be the second person to ask him that question.
"I think you're asking that question to the wrong person," said Shui Xian.
"No, I'm asking the right person," said Zhai Yanjun. "I truly want to know how you're doing. I know that it's Saozi who had a miscarriage but you're her husband. That child was also yours. You don't expect me to believe that it didn't have any effect on you, right?" Zhai Yanjun took a pause and added, "In fact, I think this affects you more than Saozi. You're going through double suffering. One is the loss of your child and the other is seeing Saozi in pain. I know how emotional of a person you had always been. There is no way, you're having an easy time right now."
Shui Xian was even more surprised when he heard Zhai Yanjun's conjectures. "You've changed," he commented.
"Me? How?" asked Zhai Yanjun.
"You just have changed," was Shui Xian's reply. He didn't explain himself in detail. He didn't think there was any other explanation he could give right now. "You'll have to figure it out yourself."
"Then it's a good change or a bad one?" asked Zhai Yanjun further.
"I think it's a very good change," replied Shui Xian. "Makes you seem more human."
"Was I not human before this?"
Shui Xian shook his head, "That's not what I meant. What I mean is, now it seems you're willing to get involved with people around you and you're learning to not only interact with them just for the sake of survival, you're more like trying to understand them and become close to them."
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