Song Xin'ai still didn't go back to the party. It was said to be a birthday party for her but the truth wasn't like that. If she hadn't made a breakthrough in her research and got nominated for a world-renowned award, this would not be happening right now.
Xiang Weimin and Xiang Wai were right, she never had birthday parties. At least not in this family. The last time she had celebrated her birthday would be a year before she and Xiang Hulin got the divorce. The difference would be that that party was solely for her and she was also happy. It seemed like such a long time ago.
Sighing to herself she joined the party again. There was another reason for her reluctance to go back to the party. Everyone's discussion revolved around how amazing their children are and how much they have achieved at a young age. And then the long string of flattery would follow. But in all of this, she'd stay quiet.
Not because she had nothing to brag about. Mind you, her Xiang Wai and Xiang Weimin had always been outstanding. But she didn't want to brag about their achievements before anyone. Why would she? She knew it perfectly well how those two risked their life on every mission for their country. What was there to brag about? Certainly, she could brag for a minute but would it ever justify what risks they had to go through or how dangerous their situations had been during the mission?
Let's not talk about the past, didn't Xiang Weimin almost lose his life on his most recent mission of his? She did not think her son knocked on the door of death just so she could brag about it with friends. And he neither did it to make her nor his father proud. No, he did it all for himself and his country.
As for why Xiang Weimin had such strong feelings for his country, it had to be because of Grandfather Xiang. He was the eldest grandson of the Xiang family, Grandfather Xiang doted on him. Even before Xiang Weimin understood anything, Grandfather Xiang would tell him stories of the heroes their Xiang family had produced. And as Xiang Weimin grew up, his yearning to know more about legends increased.
So even if Xiang Weimin hadn't seen his grandfather in years, the seed had been planted when he was young. Patriotism had long taken root in his bones. That's why when he announced he was joining the air force, no one was really surprised. It was like all was expected.
It might have come as a surprise to most when Xiang Wai said she wanted to join the military. She knew it came as a surprise to her for sure. She knew how much Xiang Wai loved ballet but then again, Xiang Wai also loved to fight. She spent so much time with her brother that she got influenced as well.
Song Xin'ai's mind had long wandered off and she didn't pay attention to anything or anyone for the rest of the party. Mrs. Gu found Song Xin'ai before leaving to meet her and said, "I should leave now." She took a pause and added, "By the way, your daughter... She reminds me of Chenyan."
Song Xin'ai narrowed her eyes and thought about it for a minute before saying, "Originally I wasn't gonna tell you this but... I think you should know that Mu Chenyan is back in the country. No, I should be specific and tell you that she is in the same city."
Mrs. Gu was startled when she heard that stared at Song Xin'ai for a moment longer, "You're not scaring me, right?"
"I have no reason to do so," was Song Xin'ai's reply. "You can't always run from your past. Sometimes you have to atone for the sins you have done."
Mrs. Gu bit her lip and suddenly smile weirdly, "Right. I'm old now. I should learn to face my mistakes now."
"Mu Chenyan and I had never been close. After all, our personalities didn't match at all. However, even if she was a pain your ass, I'd still say she had always been a good person. Too good sometimes. Actually, she often came off as a fool." Song Xian'ai shook her head as she recalled the Mu Chenyan in her memory. "Do you think she didn't know what you did back then?" Mrs. Gu was startled when she heard it. "The only reason she chose to withdraw from the medical school was that she didn't want to confront you."
Mrs. Gu felt like something got stuck in her throat and it was becoming even more difficult to breathe now. All these years, she thought Mu Chenyan didn't know anything but now that she heard that Mu Chenyan always knew everything but still chose to stay silent. It left a bitter taste in her mouth. One that was hard for her to swallow.
"Maybe I should face the truths now," said Mrs. Gu after a while. "I can't always run from it and hiding from it didn't really help in all these years." She smiled bitterly, "I built my lifetime of happiness by trampling on someone's sincerity."
"Then I wish you're able to muster up enough courage to confront the demons of your past," stated Song Xin'ai.
"But what about you?" asked Mrs. Gu. Song Xin'ai was frowning in confusion when Mrs. Gu added, "When are you gonna confront the demons of your past?" Song Xin'ai was stumped for words. "The biggest demon in your heart had always been that daughter you gave up on. Don't you think it's time to confront it now?" She paused and added, "Or perhaps, that daughter doesn't even know you exist."
"She does," answered Song Xin'ai. "She knows about me. Mu Chenyan raised her and that woman would never hide anything.. Maybe it's a good trait that she doesn't hide things but it's a bad one too because she often forgets what to say or not to say."
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