Shui Koshing didn't urge her to tell him anything after reading that. He just couldn't bring himself to do so. The Yue Yue in his memories had a beautiful voice and she loved to talk as well. She was bright and a bubbly girl. Somewhat like Hyson. Her whole disposition was radiant. She always made people feel happy and comfortable around her.
But now that he saw how even after struggling she couldn't produce a single sound, he was left dumbstruck. He only stared at her in silence as she continued to clutch her chest and cry loudly. Her silent crying seemed to really hurt him right now. He could feel the pain she was going through.
He slowly extended his hand and gently placed it on top of her head. She raised her face to meet his eyes. Through the tears, she saw the concern in his eyes and she was stunned for a moment. It had been a long time since someone showed such gentleness to her. Apart from Mu Chenyan and Elder Xiang, she hadn't felt this gentleness from anyone.
"Stop crying, okay?" Shui Koshing held her face in his hands and wiped her tears. "I won't be mean to you. Just don't cry like this. Xin'ai might come into my dream to get revenge for you."
The corner of Yue's lips tugged up slightly when she heard that last sentence.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes to settle her emotions. After wiping her face, she continued to take calming breaths before she picked up the notebook again to write, 'What happened to Xin Jie[1]?'
Shui Koshing sat down on a chair at the side and tapped the armrest in silence for a minute before he answered her, "She died in a car accident. It's been a decade now." Mother Yue was still unable to accept that Song Xin'ai was no longer around. That woman who loved her genuinely like a sister was no longer in this world. And she had been blissfully oblivious to this fact. "Stop thinking about it. She won't want to see you cry because of her."
Mother Yue bit her lips not knowing what else to do. What could she do?
"But she had a lot of complaints with you that took with her," told Shui Koshing. "When she first learned about the news of how publicly your father decided to sever his ties with you, she was baffled. She went to look for you but it was as if you vanished from this earth." He stared into her eyes, "Yue, not for me, but for Xin'ai, can you please tell me why did you hide?"
Mother Yue's fingers around the pen in her hand tightened. It was as if the poor pen would break the next second but she controlled her emotions and wrote, 'Didn't you learn about why my father decided to sever ties with me?'
Shui Koshing shook his head in response. "Even though Xin'ai repeatedly asked that question, no one from the Yue family was willing to answer that question. However, your sister repeatedly scorned that you're a disgrace and blah blah blah." He was constantly observing her expressions when he decided to tell her this much. He didn't go into details but from the delf-deprecating smile on her face, he could actually tell that she already could imagine the details on her own.
"You had always been your father's most favorite. You had always been the youngest Princess of the Yue family. I'm still not able to understand why or how your father could actually choose to abandon you like that." He had a reminiscent look on his face as he continued, "Even Xin'ai begged him to let her know what happened but he didn't want to say it. However, because of this matter, Xin'ai's relationship with the Yue family broke off over the years."
When Shui Koshing told her about what Song Xin'ai did for her, she was quite touched. How could she not be? She didn't expect that her cousin would actually choose to go such extremes for her even when her own sister had scorned her.
Back in the day when Song Xin'ai used to tell her how her sister hated her. Yue didn't believe it at all. She always thought her sister was just a little cold and aloof. It was her nature and that's why she didn't mind her sister's distant behavior. She never realized that she was being alienated by her own sister and if it was not for Song Xin'ai, she would have known what it felt like to have a loving and protective elder sister.
Technically speaking, Shui Koshing's wife, Shui Xian's mother was actually not related to Yue Yue by blood. Although Yue Yue called her cousin sister, she was actually not her cousin. Instead, Song Xin'ai was actually her elder sister's maternal cousin. Her father's first wife had only one brother and Song Xin'ai was his only daughter.
However, Yue Yue being the naive girl never understood why Song Xin'ai always doted on her but kept a distance from her elder sister. It was not until it was too late that she figured everything. But it was no use now. She had already lost the most precious people to her. Especially her father.
"What happened to your voice?"
Shui Koshing thought she would be hurt by his question again but he didn't expect her to even offer him a smile as she jotted down her reply and passed the notebook to him.
He read the words written in clear writing, 'Head injury. The night I was thrown out of my own family, I got my head injured. So, that night I didn't just lose my family but I also lost the right to ever speak again.' Shui Koshing felt his eyes tearing up when he went on reading further, 'Clearly, the heaven felt it was pointless for me to have a voice when no one was even willing to let me defend myself.'
Shui Koshing lowered his head and lifted his hand to wipe the tears at the corner of his eyes.
Mother Yue smiled softly to herself as she took the notebook from his hand and turned the page to write again. 'You shouldn't feel bad for me. Even I have stopped feeling bad for myself now. I felt more helpless when I had a voice, I feel quite empowered now when I don't have it any longer.'
Shui Koshing chewed the inside of his cheek in contemplation. Suddenly, a handsome face flashed through his eyes, and he stared at her again, "Did they cut all ties with you because of Yue Fai? Was it because you're pregnant?" Later, he seemed to be answering to himself in a low voice, "It has to be that. The timeline matches perfectly. Hyson is about twenty-four. You've been hiding for twenty-five years."
However, Mother Yue shook her head at him, 'Even I didn't know I'd get a surprise in the form of my son. After losing my voice, knowing that I had a life growing inside of me was the only thing that kept me going. My Yue Fai can never be the reason for his mother's tragedy. If anything he is the blessing I received after that tragedy.'
Shui Koshing once again thought Hyson and smiled softly, "He certainly is like a happy pill. He is a beautiful soul." Mother Yue smiled gently and proudly. "Who is his father?" Seeing how her smile stiffened, he added, "Do you really think I can't see the similarities here?"
Mother Yue furrowed her brows at his question, 'He doesn't resemble his father though. How can you find any similarity?'
Shui Koshing gave her a smile that didn't look like a smile, "My sweet little sister, he might not resemble his father but he resembles his elder brother. When he laughs, I can obviously see the similarity between him and his elder brother."
Mother Yue was taken aback by what he pointed out. She obviously wouldn't know this detail. She hadn't met or seen that boy for years now. She was certain that he didn't even remember her any longer.
"Since you're not denying it," whispered Shui Koshing. "My guess is right. Yue Fai's father is..." Mother Yue held his arm and didn't let him continue. She looked around as if to see if anyone was around even if she knew that they had locked the door when they entered she still didn't forget to look around.
'Shing Ge, don't say it. Just don't ever say it out loud. I don't care about the consequences of the world knowing who my son's father is but my son won't like it.' Shui Koshing's brows knitted up. 'I don't want the shadow of my previous life to fall on my son's happy life. That young miss of the Yue Clan is already gone. Now, I'm just Yue! Just Yue Fai's mother. And that's more than enough for me and my son!'
"Since you look so angry just thinking about it, I really want to know what happened," said Shui Koshing.
Since Mother Yue could see that she couldn't hide from him anyway. She put her head down and honestly jotted down the happening of that year in detail but the more Shui Koshing read, the more his head grew uncomfortable.
[1] 'Jie': Means elder sister, not necessarily related by blood. It's also a way to address women older than you.
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