For the first time since they have been together, they spent the night in two separates rooms, but although they were afar it was like they both could still feel how the other was feeling. They may didn't share a bed but they surely shared common feelings, feelings of anger disappointment, frustration, and bitter sadness.
Roselyn spend the night crying and sleeping only a few hours to hope John would come into her room to beg for her forgiveness, but he didn't come, not because he didn't want, maybe for pride, or because he was angry at Roselyn and was truly considering splitting.
John on the other hand didn't sleep at all, neither did he cry. Crying was something he did rarely and the more he thought about what happened the more he felt stuck in that situation, Roselyn's desperate gesture to go look for a woman only to collect information was evident proof she couldn't endure the current situation not now nor ever.
The next morning the atmosphere didn't calm down and the anger was still prominent, John was the first one to reach the kitchen and Roselyn followed him a few minutes later, they shared a shy "good morning". In few minutes some women wearing g entered the kitchen to place on the table food, Roselyn couldn't refrain herself from dropping her jaw as she recalled John sent the letters and she didn't expect them to arrive and accept the work so early.
Roselyn had to bit her inner cheek not to create additional drama and worse the situation, even more, they already argued enough, and she knew the situation was already drastic. But when she saw one of the women smile at John in a very friendly way and flutter her eyes she had to ignore it and control every inch of her body not to respond to that gesture. She would challenge any woman to have her man wooed by many women in front of their eyes, her jealousy was totally understandable yet somehow John didn't agree with that.
She thought of a desperate solution, fix her gaze over her dish and completely ignore the women, maybe if she didn't see them she wouldn't be that jealous, although even the noise of their heels clicking on the floor was annoying her. She took more bites of the food trying to chew fastener and ignore her negative thoughts.
Roselyn ended her breakfast fast enough and not looking at John and the woman of a gaze she turned around to head back to the room where she slept in, only after reaching it and sitting on the edge of the bed she released a silents scream to get rid of her anger. She did trust him but that had nothing to do with the way she felt for him.
After one minute John reached her and closed the door behind him, to have some privacy and maybe finally come in peace.
"They arrived around half one hour before you woke up so I asked them to make breakfast and then clean the house. They will come here only around 2-3 times a week so maybe it will be less hard to bear for you." John said, was that a flag of truce?
Roselyn nodded still not facing him and remaining turned around so that he couldn't see her facial expressions. She didn't know what to say, if she knew what John expected her to reply maybe she would have said that only to solve the odd coldness between them.
"Did you sleep well?" John asked, and Roselyn wondered if his question was genuine or a courtesy.
"I slept well, thanks," Roselyn replied faking a smile even if he couldn't see it.
"Can you look at me in the eyes when I talk to you?" John asked in a slightly irritated tone of voice and Roselyn scoffed before she pleased him and turned around to stare at him straight in his eyes. As soon as she met his eyes a shiver ran through her spine and her heart began to race to remind her how much she missed him and how much she was in love with him.
She wanted to flinch away but she knew if she did she would seem even more vulnerable than she already was at that moment.
"Thank you," John smiled, "I am sorry I didn't mean to be that rude last night, I was mad and I may have said things in a bad way driven by anger." He admitted and Roselyn saw a glimmer of hope, she offered a smile that soon disappeared when she heard what came after, "but I still meant the words I said." Roselyn felt her heart breaking into a million of pieces for the second time in such a short length of time.
"Not the silly part," John joked, trying to defuse the situation but Roselyn's miserable facial expression remained sad despite his best efforts.
John cleared his voice and assumed a more serious tone of voice as he recomposed himself, "but I do think we can't continue plodding if you don't trust me, and every time I mention the past women I had your jealousy blinds you to the point to make you risk your life." John said, his voice was cold yet vulnerable.
"And you would solve my jealousy by inviting here the women you shared a past with? That is how you build my trust?" Roselyn spat and John reached her trying to be as calm as possible.
But Roselyn was too furious to retrain her anger and she stood up to start the argument she had been repressing for too long, she pointed her finger against John and she burst out all her anger, "you're ready to leave me at the first difficulty when I have been there for you during all-out difficulties and siding with you without twinking twice but now only because I ask you to show me what was so fun in having sexual activities before me you turn into an opposite person." Roselyn breathed out only to recommence to give fuel to her inner fire and start again.
"I always you weren't an expert of love but I didn't expect you to be so ruthless, reckless, and despicable with my heart, to use it and throw it away as if it was an insignificant object!" Roselyn yelled out as tears fell down her eyes.
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