Life, Once Again!

After Story 2

After eating a late dinner, he took out a can of beer from the fridge. This was the only luxury expense he liked about ‘him.’ Walking past the cat that looked at him strangely, he walked onto the veranda. It was blazing hot during the day, but now that the sun had set, it was just sweltering hot. Taking a sip of the beer, he ate some of the dried anchovies that came along with it. Thanks to the refreshing beer, there was a smile on his face.

“Now, what do I do about college…,” he muttered as he looked at the apartment complex on the other side. Now that he had finished cleaning his house, it was time to plan the future.

The Han Maru of this life walked on the path that most people walked on, not too fast, nor too slow. He just studied moderately and struggled with textbooks during exam season, and as a result of that, he managed to enroll in Daesan university near Seoul. His major was economics. It wasn’t that he had a grand dream of becoming an economics expert, he just looked for whatever college he could go to with his scores, and that ended up being economics.

He placed the can on his forehead. Just thinking about it made him have a headache. To scold himself for going to college without aim, such a lifestyle was too widespread within the country. Everyone lived like that, so he just went with it. It was nothing to be guilty about.

However, as the ‘old’ Han Maru, who had a massive amount of experience in society, he could comprehend it, but not sympathize with it. He should’ve seriously thought about enrolling in college if he was of the right mind — he cursed his former self lightly.

The twenty-two-year-old Han Maru living in 2008, after finishing the first semester of his sophomore year, thought that he couldn’t handle it anymore and went to military service as though to run away from it, and was now currently discharged.

He pressed his temples again when he thought about the story of an ordinary youth. The more he looked back on the memories of this life, the thicker his troubles became. Heck, his troubles might be as thick as a thousand-year-old tree by the end of this. One trouble came out after another like sausages.

What about Haneul then?

He thought about her, who should be living in a place he did not know. She was probably in a similar situation. She was probably having a big headache about her own problems, and not about her relationships.

He looked behind him when he heard the sound of scratching the window. The cat was scratching the veranda window on its two legs. Was it asking to be let outside? — He soon remembered the memories of this life. Ricebun often did that for no reason, so he just had to ignore it. He waved at the cat. Just as he remembered, the cat seemed to soon lose interest in scratching the window and turned around and went into the room.

He had yet to sort out the drawers of memories. The memories of numerous Han Marus were all tangled up together. Not only that, they were all vocal in their opinion and tried to take root in the center position. Numerous Han Marus would start talking at the same time when they see something similar to what they experienced before.

You should do it like this here, no like that here. You guys stay quiet, no, you stay quiet.

It wasn’t that they were actually chattering like that, but it felt so chaotic that they might as well be. The reason Haneul said that she needed time to redefine herself was also because of such reasons.

Thankfully, there was a subjective personality, so it wouldn’t take that long, but until then, he would have to use his head consciously. It would be quite troublesome if he blurted out nonsense after all.

He put down the remaining half of the beer on the veranda and leaned on the railing. It was the same scenery and the same life. The Han Maru of yesterday wouldn’t have done something like standing on the veranda and looking outside. Everything was the complete same, yet entirely different. Since it was different, he would have to change many things.

As apologetic as he felt towards his past self for putting in the effort to enroll in college, going to college was a waste. The memories of this life kept stimulating his emotions to make him remember his college friends, and the dream life that was the campus life, but they did not work against the extremely ascetic Han Marus who had experienced more than enough of society. It would be a different story if it was a prestigious university, but the title of Daesan university was unnecessary. He might have also had second thoughts if the major was good, but economics was definitely a no-go.

So, having decided to quit college, he tapped on the railing with his fist. There was an enormous amount of experience in his head. He had experienced all sorts of jobs. Learning skills shouldn’t take a long time since his brain remembered the know-how. He could even think of a few jobs that he could start immediately without any training.

After comparing a few jobs, he stopped thinking. The existence of God, which he tried so hard to ignore, came to his mind again. While he told her to not be worried to put her at ease, those words were more directed at himself.

Were the reincarnations truly over now? How did they meet again when they supposedly lost their memories and were going to live as strangers?

She said that she heard God’s voice saying that the two were tied in a fate stronger than any other and that it gave him joy to watch them.

God’s whims created this situation. Before he was happy, he couldn’t help but be worried. What if the whimsical God started his games again? Of course, he knew that God wouldn’t act like he wished to so easily. God was fair. Haneul was trapped in an infinite lifecycle for desiring life from death; from nothing to something. The same went for him as well, and the bigger the desire, the greater the price God made them pay.

Then what about this life? He and she, who were supposed to have forgotten about the past and the future, and were supposed to become complete strangers, were allowed to meet. Nay, to accept God’s words as is, the reason they met was thanks to a fate even more tenacious than God’s expectations.

It didn’t make sense for God to not know, since he was all-knowing and all-powerful, so the more suitable interpretation was that he just gave a small present to the two people who found a hole out of the eons of life. Though, this too was just an optimistic interpretation on his part.

“You might have forgotten, but you have properly paid the price. If someone died, then someone must live. Of course, as you expected, the fact that you regained your memories is a small present on my part. I might be whimsical, but I’m not cruel. This life belongs to you, so please feel at ease and enjoy. Shouldn’t you enjoy this last time?”

It was the cat that suddenly spoke fluently.

He wasn’t surprised. He had experienced too many things to be surprised.

“You two have died. That’s why you have gained this life. Since it’s a life that you gained through sacrifice, I hope you can be happier than anyone else. That will be more interesting for me to watch as well.” Having finished talking, the cat got startled and looked around. After snarling at the empty air, the cat hid underneath the chair at the dining table.

As he was staring at the cat, he got a call. It was from Haneul.

-Maru, did he find you too?

“If you’re talking about God, then he came here.”

There were no words for a while. The words God left behind reverberated in his ears. Life gained through sacrifice. He almost forgot. No, perhaps he might have been looking away from it. Another Han Maru and Han Haneul who had experienced extremely long lives had died. Just as God said, the price was paid. The masked man and the rabbit. This life came to be upon their lives.

-I am the one who killed me, but I don’t know how to accept this.

“Yeah. Someone must have ended it, and ultimately, it was likely the one who created the trouble has solved it too. The two that disappeared are you and me, but at the same time, they felt like two completely different people.”

-The Han Maru and Han Haneul that stemmed from us, do you think those two really died?

“That’s the price for our lives.”

-Saving your own life for sacrificing yourself. It’s so contradictory.

“Don’t think too deeply about it. Let’s end it after apologizing and thanking them tonight. It’s all over now.”

-Yeah, that’s probably the right thing to do. I should mourn by myself tonight.

Haneul seemed to have switched places as he could hear faux leather being squashed. She seemed to have sat down on the sofa.

-Did a doll speak on your side as well?

“A doll?”

-At my house, a rabbit doll I placed next to the bed was the one speaking. I was cleaning, and it suddenly tapped me.

“That should have been quite a sight. Here, it was a cat.”

-Really? That would’ve gone viral if you took a video of it.

“I didn’t think about that.”

Even a forced smile was fine. Maru smiled in order to wash away the complex feelings in his heart. Haneul also participated.

-That’s the biggest worry out of the way.

“Yeah. That’s right.”

-Tonight, I’m going to sleep early without thinking about anything. I have so many things to think about so I was originally going to stay up the night, but I don’t think today’s the right day. How about you?

“I’m going to decide on one thing before getting some rest.”

-What is it? Something important?

“A serious decision about what color to change the childish wallpaper to.”

-Please not gray this time. Honestly, it was too gloomy when we lived together in the last life. You really liked blue in the one before. You even liked light blue when Gaeul was around, didn’t you?

“I don’t remember that clearly. Right now, I like monotone.”

-There are dozens of preferences I can remember about you. You were a little cuter when you were a middle-aged man with a bulging belly.

“You too, honey. Don’t you remember plastering the whole house white because you liked it? You were all for black before too.”

-I don’t remember.

“There were thousands of Miss Han Haneuls who spoke like that, yet why does it change so much?”

-Maybe that’s just how I am. Just like how you are stuck up about the strangest of things, dear.

While talking, Haneul stifled her laughter.

-But hey, we keep changing the way we address each other. You, honey, dear. I’m barely holding myself back from calling you Gaeul’s dad.

“I might become a dad soon, so you can be at ease with that.”

-Says who? I’m going to meet Gaeul, but that time’s definitely not now. I want to raise my child without insufficiency. We should meet her after we earn a lot of money.

“There we go again with the ahjumma talk. Hello, Miss Han Haneul, don’t forget that you’re a college student. This is our first and also our last life. You can be more at ease.”

-You say that, but weren’t you thinking about the future too?

Maru could only stay silent since that was all true.

-But as you say, we should have some more leisure. With that, I want to sleep for the night. I don’t have any more energy to think either.

“Alright, get some good rest.”

-You should get washed and sleep as well. Don’t forget to adjust the height of your pillow. Don’t keep the AC on just because it’s hot. And remember to throw out the food waste on t…

Maru told her good night and quickly hung up.

With his phone in hand, he looked at the apartments, whose lights were being turned off one by one. He burst into laughter. He picked up the can he placed on the floor and emptied it in one go. Perhaps because the worries that burdened his heart had been resolved, he wanted to enjoy himself a little more today.

He took out another can of beer from the fridge. The chill he could feel through his fingers made him smile. Seemingly concerned about the master laughing like a fool, the cat walked over.

He picked up the cat, which was about to escape, and went out to the veranda. After wavering its front paws around in the air in a struggle, it became docile again after the night air brushed past its face. It seemed to have taken a liking to the wind.

“It’s good, isn’t it?” he asked the cat, knowing that he wouldn’t get an answer. The cat let out a small ‘meow’ in response, or perhaps it was a coincidence.

With the cat in his arms, he sat on the chair on the veranda. He drank beer as he looked at the apartments being shrouded in darkness.

The trivial things clearly told him that his life had begun anew.

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