Life, Once Again!

After Story 148

The shoot ended. Dawoon turned around to look at Baekhoon and the photographer talking to one another. What were they talking about? She could hear some whisper:

Jung Dawoon isn’t as good as Haneul when they’re side by side. We should’ve gone with a single shoot instead.

She felt a burst of dizziness. When she came to, she found herself standing next to the photographer and Baekhoon.

“Let’s pick a few from the B cuts as well and compare them. It’ll feel different when they’re actually printed. Also….”

Baekhoon cut the photographer off and hinted at him. The photographer then left, saying that they should meet later.

“Anything you want to say?”

“No, nothing.” She shook her head. She could hear someone muttering while she was talking to Baekhoon:

Now that I look at it, Jung Dawoon is just a counterfeit Han Haneul. She’s low quality.

Even if she blocked her ears, she would continue to hear this sound. After all, the voice came from within her, not outside.

She forced herself to smile. It was only then that the whispers faded away.

“You look tired.”

“A little.”

“You should go home early then.”

“Isn’t today an appointed day?”

Baekhoon looked at his watch. As it was an analog watch, telling the time was the only thing it could do, yet he always looked at his watch when he thought of his schedule.

“I have a lot of things to attend to. You look tired too. We can meet each other whenever we have time, so it doesn’t matter.”

Baekhoon turned around after saying goodbye. She stopped him.

“You aren’t fed up with me, are you?”

“I am a businessman. My motto is to give back as much as I receive,” Baekhoon said as he looked right at her. “Since we’re on the topic, I might as well say it now. I’m going to give you about three or four more opportunities in the future. The fact that I’m going to let you appear in my movie also won’t change. However, I must change one thing from what I said.”

“What would that be?”

“You will never overcome Han Haneul. I thought you could be in the lead. I thought that if you appeared in the market first, Han Haneul would be buried under your spotlight since she’s a latecomer. You’re both actresses with similar styles after all.”

“Why the sudden lack of confidence?”

“Because I saw her with my own eyes. I thought that Han Haneul was a woman whose appearance was the only thing good about her. Someone who could do some form of business, an actress who amounted to just that. But I was wrong.”

Baekhoon tapped on his watch twice.

“Maybe you felt that more than I did. Because you must have seen her from up close.”

Her lips trembled. She wanted to retort at once that there was nothing that Han Haneul had that was better than her; she wanted to say that it was a misjudgment to think that.

However, she couldn’t say that. It was just as he said. The one who felt the charm of Han Haneul the most was none other than her, who stood next to her for the entirety of the shoot.

Even if she tried to catch up, she couldn’t believe that she could do so. Trying to imitate her awkwardly only ended in a tremendous sense of shame.

It reminded her of when she first learned ballet. Haneul was the instructor who could pose elegantly, while she was a student who was struggling to split her legs.

“It will be different in acting. For modeling, yes, for modeling, let’s say it’s like that. However, as an actress, I’m better than Han Haneul.”

Her voice was agitated. Cold sweat ran down her back. She felt like she was going to fall sick. Despite being in her best condition at the beginning of the shoot, she felt absolutely terrible right now.

She looked at Baekhoon’s mouth. Just a few words of encouragement would suffice: you have the potential. As long as she heard those words, she felt like she could stand back up again.

“Would that really be true?”

Baekhoon left, saying that he was running out of time.

Dawoon clutched her jaw, which was trembling. She blocked her mouth with her palm and clenched her teeth before screaming so that she didn’t make any sound.

She stood still in the empty studio for a few minutes before quickly returning to the break room.

She opened the door and went inside. There, she saw Han Haneul, who had gotten ready to go home.

“I wanted to say goodbye at least, so it’s good that you’re here. Good work today. See you again next time.”

Han Haneul nodded as a greeting before walking past her.

She turned around and grabbed Haneul’s wrist. Haneul looked at her wrist before giving her a glance.

“What does this mean?”

“Don’t be so arrogant.”

“Me?”

She looked into Haneul’s eyes.

She must have thought that she won. She must have thought that it was her complete victory. That must be why she could open her eyes so arrogantly like that.

“I don’t get what you’re saying at all.”

“Did Na Baekhoon tell you that you’ll be more successful than me? That you’re better than me?”

“Err, Miss Dawoon, are you shooting a drama right now?”

“Tell me. What did Na Baekhoon say? Did he promise you support? Did he say he lost interest in Jung Dawoon and will support you instead?”

Her foggy vision cleared up in an instant The stifling sensation also subsided. She felt like she finally knew. It wasn’t that she was worse compared to Han Haneul. The reason Na Baekhoon uttered those words in front of her was also not because Han Haneul was better than her.

He just switched. He picked Haneul as his new partner.

“You met Na Baekhoon, didn’t you?”

“Miss Dawoon.”

“I thought it was strange. It was a rigged game the whole time. You set the mood like that, so I was swept away too. How am I any worse than you? I was just intimidated during the shoot. Yes, that’s how it was.”

“Hey. If you’re going to talk by yourself like this, then let me go and go talk to a mirror or something.”

“Shut up!” she shouted as she strongly shook the wrist she was holding. “You can’t win against me in skill, so you resort to something like this?”

“Who’s trying to win against who?”

“Shut your trap. Now I see. Sure enough, there’s no way that was true. When did it begin, huh? When did it all start?”

Han Haneul was a dirty woman. She started hearing voices again:

Jung Dawoon is below Han Haneul in quality. There’s no need to compare the two.

She closed her mouth when it felt like her stomach was suddenly shrinking. Her mind entered a daze, and her hands and feet started trembling.

Suddenly, it became difficult to breathe. She couldn’t breathe in any air. No matter how much she breathed in, she lacked air.

“Miss Dawoon. Miss Jung Dawoon.”

She let go of Haneul’s wrist and fell on her butt. The marble floor looked wavy. There were ripples on the floor. She also felt like the ceiling was collapsing. Her chest trembled before she was enveloped in piercing pain.

Haa, haa. Her voice became insanely loud. She felt like her body had turned into a giant lung.

Her dizziness reached the limit, and it became hard to move her body.

Just then, she felt a hand. She also heard some rustling. Something touched her mouth. While she was out of it, she realized that it was a plastic bag.

“Breathe slowly. Easy does it. Relax and focus on breathing. Don’t be in a hurry. Don’t worry either, and just breathe in and breathe out.”

She followed Haneul’s words. She could hear the plastic bag shrinking and expanding.

Warm breath entered her body. Her stiffened body relaxed. Her trembling hands also calmed down.

Not long later, she had an easier time breathing. She let go of the plastic bag that she held onto like her lifeline. She felt like she came back to life from death.

“The symptoms don’t look too serious. Looking at you, it must be stress-induced, so you should call your manager and go to the hospital. It might be an illness of your body.”

Haneul examined her like a doctor before standing up.

“Should I call your manager for you?”

“It’s fine,” she said. Her malfunctioning breathing organs returned to normal.

She slowly stood up. There was a short burst of dizziness, but it wasn’t something she couldn’t endure.

“Then that’s good.”

“Wait.”

“You still have business with me?”

“Na Baekhoon, tell me when it all started.”

Leaving aside the help she received, she had to figure out when the two started colluding. It was when she put strength into her legs to stand upright that Haneul approached her.

The distance between them shrunk suddenly. She flinched at the sudden action.

Just then, she saw Haneul’s hand go up. The hand slowly approached her face.

She reflexively closed her eyes. There was a slap sound. It didn’t hurt, it was just a light tap.

“Miss Dawoon. People should watch their mouths. I’ve seen numerous people who’ve met their demise because they couldn’t control their mouths.”

Dawoon couldn’t look straight at the pair of eyes in front of her. Haneul felt like a different person. She even started suspecting whether it was the same Han Haneul as the smiling person from before.

“You can suspect in your mind. You can blame others in your mind. That’s how people live after all. But the story changes when you mention that out loud. So you should really hold back.”

Haneul picked up the plastic bag on the floor and stuffed it into her hands.

“And also, Mr. Na Baekhoon isn’t my type. Done now?”

She clenched the plastic bag and squeezed out her voice. “Don’t lie to me. If the two of you aren’t seeing each other, there’s no way he would suddenly start saying something like….”

“Excuse me, Miss Jung Dawoon. I don’t care at all about whether you meet up with Na Baekhoon or do whatever bullshit you might be up to. Oops, I said bullshit. Since I used it, let me use it a little more. I don’t even want to know what kind of bullshit entered your body that made you suddenly do this to me.”

The words ‘don’t even want to know’ gave her a smack on the head.

She raised her head slightly. She saw Haneu’s eyes, which she had been avoiding this whole time.

Those eyes didn’t contain rage, disappointment, or even criticism. They were totally emotionless just like the words she was saying.

“I wanted to win against you? Why would I? Are we in some kind of great relationship where one must win and one must lose? Honestly, the only thing I know about you is your name. You seem to know more than that about me, but I don’t know anything about you. I don’t plan to find out either.”

“I-I….”

“I don’t know what kind of reason you suddenly made me your competitor, but please don’t involve me in it. I despise stuff like that.”

Haneul put her bag on.

She could only watch as Haneul walked towards the door.

She had to shout that Haneul was lying, that she should tell the truth, but she couldn’t say anything.

When Haneul walked past the door and closed the door about halfway, she could barely speak,

“You’re actually worried, aren’t you? That I might be more successful than you. You’re jealous because I’m better than you when I’m similar to you, aren’t you? That’s why you colluded with Na Baekhoon and….”

Haneul stopped as she was closing the door. Then she spoke indifferently,

“Miss Dawoon. Do you know how you look in my eyes right now? You look like you are begging me to be jealous of you. But what can I do? I don’t want to do that. You’re like a little child. The only way you could acknowledge yourself is through the assessment of others.”

Hope you take care of your health — Haneul left after leaving those words behind.

She looked at the makeup desk in the break room. She couldn’t see anything through the mirror.

She opened the door and left and shouted at Han Haneul who was walking down the corridor.

“In truth, you’re jealous of me! That’s how it is! Tell me! Tell me that it’s true!”

Her voice echoed in the corridor. Haneul, who was walking forward, raised her hand up. She waved her middle finger left and right before disappearing.

She collapsed on the floor. The lights in the corridor went out and darkness pervaded.

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