JoAnna found Jeff in the kid's room watching over Alice and Jayden who were sleeping side-by-side, in the same bed.
She leaned on the doorframe and observed the back of her husband who stood silently next to the footboard. He looked lonely.
She heard him release a barely audible sigh and her heart cracked.
"Hey…", JoAnna called in a whisper as she placed her hand on Jeff's shoulder.
Jeff quickly schooled his features into a small smile, took her hand in his, and kissed her palm.
"Hey…", he called back.
JoAnna glanced at her three years old angels and smiled before tilting her head toward the door, indicating to Jeff to step out.
Jeff and JoAnna held hands as they walked in the garden before calling it a night.
"Did you hear that in three days we are going back home?", JoAnna asked Jeff.
"Mhm…", Jeff hummed in confirmation.
"How are you doing?", JoAnna asked Jeff.
"I am doing OK.", Jeff responded, but both he and JoAnna knew that it's a lie.
JoAnna knows that Jeff is busy with work. The fact that he is working remotely is making everything more difficult, but he didn't want to go to Los Angeles and leave JoAnna and their kids behind. The three of them are his lifeline in the dark storm of doubts he found himself in, and they are like a ray of hope that is preventing him from falling deeper into depression.
When Jeff is not working, his mind is being pressed by the possibility that his parents manipulated his life and Jeff does not know how much was his own free will, and how much he was following their plan.
"Why don't you tell me about it?", JoAnna suggested, indirectly telling him that she does not believe he is OK.
Jeff shook his head. "We already discussed it, more than once. There is no point in us beating that topic as nothing new will come out of it."
"I agree. Until you talk with your parents, nothing will be settled because you are not allowing it."
Jeff halted his steps. "Are you saying that it's my fault?"
"No. But I am saying that you are maybe making the issue bigger than it appears to be."
Jeff looked at JoAnna with disapproval in his eyes. "You don't understand, Anna. My school, my job, my friends… even you. Everything was influenced by my parents. Did I do anything on my own? I find it frustrating that everyone sees me as some great man who should be respected and feared, yet it seems that I'm no more than a puppet. I was such a fool not to see it happening and that only proves that I am a puppet."
JoAnna's heart ached. She could see that this is very difficult for Jeff to accept and as time passes, he is getting more into his dark thoughts. She wondered, how can she help him?
"Did they force you into anything?"
Jeff exhaled. "They didn't need to physically force me if they knew how to manipulate me into thinking that everything was my idea. If they placed me in the right environment with specific hints, I would follow their scenario. I know because I do that to people. I make them accept deals confidently without a grain of suspicion that they followed my script to the t. And if they ever figure out that they fell victims to my scheme, it's too late. Just how it's too late for me. It's ironic."
"Don't say it's too late, Jeff. Did you ask me to marry you because you loved me, or because your parents encouraged you? Did you come to the Franciscan Medical Center to find me and beat up Dr. Light because someone told you to be there?"
"Well, no… but…"
"I believe that it's normal for parents to try to influence their children.", JoAnna said. "Jasper and Ellie are our good friends, and if their Amber grows into a good girl, wouldn't you hope that our Jay will take interest in her?"
Jeff frowned at JoAnna's words, but she could see that he was not angry. He was thinking about what she said, so she continued: "I'm sure that as the years go by, we will meet with Jasper and Ellie and our kids will play together and maybe become friends. Now, imagine that Jayden is a teenager, and he dresses up so that he can take Amber out on a date. Considering that you know her parents and that she has a good background, wouldn't you hope that things between them work out? You might even give Jay some tips on how to win the girl over, right?" JoAnna was asking questions, but she didn't give Jeff any time to respond. "Our grandparents were friends, and it would be normal for them to think that the two of us might be a good couple, but that does not mean that they forced us into anything. The same goes for your school and job and everything else. Your parents wanted you to be successful. All parents should wish that for their children. There is a mold created by the society where in order to be considered as a proper adult, you should have a good education, a good job, be married, and have kids. I still remember my father saying those things to me… in that order."
Jeff wanted to say how his and JoAnna's stories are not comparable because JoAnna was not surrounded by members of some organization, but then he remembered Lebedevs, and the only thing he could say was: "Our lives are complicated."
JoAnna smiled. "That is true, but here we are. Together. In love. Financially settled. Doing well with two kids and a wonderful family, supported by siblings and friends. I am happy and I don't care if we reached this point because someone helped push things along."
"Are you saying that I should drop it?"
"No. I think that you should talk to them and keep on asking questions until you get your answers. But don't start the talk by being angry. The truth is that I don't know if your parents and grandparents were guiding you with good intentions, or if they wanted to make you a mafia boss that can be controlled. However, I hope that you can keep an open mind and listen to their side before you blow up and no matter what you find out, remember that things turned out wonderfully."
Jeff wrapped his arms around JoAnna and pulled her in a tight hug.
"What would I do without you?", he murmured in her hair.
"Hmm… You would be married to Isabella.", JoAnna spoke into his chest, feeling slightly suffocated.
Jeff cringed at the thought of sharing his bed with Isabella. At that time, he didn't think that it matters if he is married or not, or who his wife would be, but now… any woman other than JoAnna by his side makes a horrible mental image. "Do you need to bring her up?"
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