Is this destiny?

~ Los Angeles, the Cliffside Villa ~

1:02 PM

Sarah knocked on the door of Zula's room, and when no one answered, she let herself in.

Usually, Sarah would not do such a thing, but Zula didn't eat anything for the whole day. Sarah's concern increased when she found out that Ron and Zula decided not to move into the apartment after only one night in it.

"That does it..." Sarah told Aiden. "It's time to check on the kids."

Back to the present...

She found Zula on the bed, hugging a pillow.

Sarah kept the tray with food on the table in the sitting area and approached the bed.

"I knocked, you didn't answer. I came to check on you." Sarah explained her presence when Zula noticed her.

"I'm fine. I just need some time to think." Zula responded.

"You don't look fine. You skipped breakfast and lunch. Will you tell me what is going on before you starve yourself to death?"

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to worry you. It's just that I have a lot on my mind and even if I came to talk, I wouldn't know what to say."

Sarah exhaled. "I am more worried that you closed yourself in your room. It makes me imagine scary things."

"Like?"

Sarah frowned and spoke seriously: "Last night you and Ron spent the night in the apartment and now this. Did he force himself on you?"

Zula shook her head vigorously. "No, he would never do such a thing. We never…" Zula paused and ended in a small voice: "We never crossed that line."

Sarah exhaled in relief. She was almost certain that Ron would not do such a thing, but it felt good to hear a confirmation.

"Something happened between the two of you. Ron told Genie that the apartment will not be necessary."

Zula nodded faintly. "That is correct."

Sarah saw that Zula has no intention to say more. She was getting irritated. "If you want me not to be nosy, you need to eat and do things as usually. If you neglect your health or your studies, I will come and ask questions."

Zula can see Sarah's point. She felt guilty. With so many kids in the house, Sarah needs to come and check on her. "It's… I don't trust Ron that he will not hurt me."

"Trust is important." Sarah said after some time and sat on the bed next to Zula. "Can you tell me what happened?"

Zula moved to sit on the bed and make more space for Sarah before telling her how after the training, Ron went to take a shower first, and she wanted a toothbrush and how he lost it.

Sarah listened to Zula and she was reminded of numerous times when she and Aiden hit a rough patch, and in most of those cases, both of them felt that they are doing the right thing. However, every time the problem was in communication. 

Zula saw that Sarah has a troubled expression.

"Do you think that I overreacted?"

"I don't know." Sarah said honestly. "I am not you."

"If you are me, what would you do?"

Sarah thought about how to answer this. "Running away and locking yourself in, is a temporary solution which gives you time to cool off and sort your thoughts, but unless you want to have regrets, you need to talk to Ron. I know that you love him, and he loves you as well. Both of you are hurting, and I want you to think before breaking up with Ron."

Zula inhaled a shaky breath. She didn't think about it as a breakup, to her, it was more like keeping the distance until they figure out stuff.

"Breakup?"

Sarah was surprised by Zula's reaction. If having an argument and staying away after it is not a breakup, it definitely leads to one. But even without an argument, there is one crucial point Sarah wanted to bring up… "You said that you don't trust him anymore. How will you stay in a relationship like that?"

Zula shook her head helplessly. "I know that he loves me. And I know that was not him. For those few seconds, that was not him shouting at me. That was a panicked little boy who tried to scare a predator away. But it does not change the fact that he hurt me. What if it's worse next time? What should I do?"

"Zula, sweetie… You know that Ron went through hell before coming here. He didn't know how to cope with it, and he channeled that into fighting and reckless behavior. When he came here, he found a structure and an outlet, and when the two of you got together, he found a reason to keep going. I can't tell you what to do, but you have your answers. Ask your heart. That is what I did when I faced a similar situation."

Zula's eyes opened wide at this information. "You had a similar situation? Can you tell me about it?"

Sarah thought about how to answer this. Zula is curious, and she needs an example, but Sarah does not want to talk about it. Other than bringing back unpleasant memories, Sarah does not wish to reveal anything that can stain Aiden's image in the eyes of their kids. But she had to say something... "A woman drugged Aiden with an intention to get between us. He fought her off, but that was the easy part. The difficult part was to survive the night with drugs which brought out the worst in him."

Zula didn't blink. "What did you do?"

"The only thing I could. I stayed by his side and hoped that I could take even a little bit of his pain away." Sarah saw that Zula was about to ask more questions, and she interrupted her. "Don't expect me to say more than that. That was one of the worst things I went through in my life, and I still have nightmares about it."

Zula nodded in understanding. It is obvious that Sarah suffered, together with Aiden. Sarah will not talk about that experience, but maybe she will talk about what came after it. "How did you forgive him? How did you forgive yourself?"

"For days, I was telling myself how that was not him. But it didn't work. We were drifting apart, and there was nothing I could do about it."

"But you are together now, and you love each other." Zula voiced her thoughts, reminding Sarah that she didn't answer her question.

"I realized that ignoring the problem won't work because it keeps coming back. In the end, I acknowledged that if I can return in front of that door and have a choice to walk away, I would still go in and share that burden with Aiden. The possibility of being hurt again was not as scary compared to the pain of losing him. We took time to heal, started over, slowly remembering why we are together."

Sarah observed Zula for some time before saying: "The important thing is, how much do you love Ron? You are aware that he was abused and how it scarred him mentally. Those are his demons and he needs to fight them. Do you want to share that pain with him? Is it worth it? Can you live without him? I know that it's scary because none of us knows what the future brings, but you need to find an answer to the question: do you want to face the future together with Ron?"

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