Is this destiny?

(continuation from previous chapter...)

[Suite 1173]

"Good night.", Jesse responded to Ron who pulled the cover almost over his head.

Jesse appreciates that Ron dropped the topic. Ron is not very nosy, and Jesse likes that.

Jesse headed to the bathroom to get ready for the night.

Under the shower, Jesse thought about the day. The evening in particular.

He scolded himself silently, why did he carry Oni out of the nightclub? Well, he knows why. No matter how much he told himself that she is a kid and that he should stay away, the thought that she might be with someone else bothered him more than he is willing to admit.

Jesse can't deny that he enjoys the way she looks at him, and even though he will NOT permit himself to make a move on a sixteen-year-old girl, he can't allow her to be with someone else either.

"Selfish…", he mumbled at himself. He should not prevent her from finding her happiness, even if that means that she will make some mistakes along the way, but… he is selfish. Selfish to the point of inviting her to join him on his personal vendetta which includes avenging the death of his ex-lover despite knowing how Oni feels about him. Jesse knew that Oni would accept whatever it is, as long as it's to be near him. And he can't stop himself from craving that unconditional support and admiration that Oni has for him no matter how many times he told himself how it's not right.

Jesse made sure that Oni reached her suite before going downstairs to buy a pack of cigarettes. It's an old habit. He used to smoke, and he stopped once he lost his Jesse, or maybe when he was stuck in that mine.

It took him two puffs to realize that he is making a mistake, why would he smoke again? It's only reminding him of his days at Shadow Ravens and how his ex-lover used to sneak behind him and ask for a puff. Jesse extinguished the cigarette and threw the rest of the pack into the trash while telling himself that he is a horrible person. He is consciously shackling Oni to himself while remembering his ex-lover. Really… he should throw himself into the trash, because that is where he belongs for taking advantage of pure feelings an innocent sixteen-year-old girl has for him.

The only way he can make this better if he tells Oni the truth. But… what if she hates him? What if she stops looking at him like he is the most amazing man in the world? Jesse is not sure that he can live without that. Somehow, along the way, he started looking forward to seeing Oni and her smile and… he is selfish.

[Suite 1152]

Julius was tossing and turning on the bed while trying to get comfortable under the cover. He always had difficulty sleeping off in new places.

He felt the mattress dip behind him and turned around.

"Al? Why are you here?", Julius asked Allen.

"I know you have a hard time sleeping in new places, so I thought to give you company.", Allen responded.

Julius was touched that Allen remembers. He knows him best. The main teacher at the orphanage told them many times the story how Allen and Julius came to the orphanage only days apart, at age four. Allen came first, and when Julius arrived, he was terrified. Allen approached him and even slept with him in the bed while holding hands so that he is not afraid. Since then, the two of them are inseparable.

"No need for company. The bed is not big enough.", Julius said.

The bed is twin size, and it's difficult for two seventeen-year-old boys to sleep on it without touching each other (or falling off).

"You didn't mind small beds earlier…", Allen protested.

"Al, we were kids then.", Julius reminded Allen.

"But Juju, you still don't sleep well in new places, and you feel better with me next to you."

Allen placed his arm around Julius, and Julius scooted backward while trying to avoid it. He was already on the edge and started falling down... in one swift move Allen pulled him back on the mattress.

"Careful… Is it so bad to be close to me?", Allen's breath splashed on Julius' face.

Julius swallowed hard. Allen's hands are around him, but he does not dare to put his around Allen, and he does not want to push him away either. "It's not bad, but it's not right."

Allen sighed. He knows that Julius is talking about their time in the diamond mine.

In the orphanage, no one cared if they slept on the same bed. Everyone knew that the two of them are like brothers, but at the mine it was different. Some older miners would scold them, and one man even gave them hard slaps while shouting that men should not stick so close to each other… because it's not right. After that, Allen kept his distance from Julius, he could not bear to see Julius getting scolded and beaten because of him. When they moved with Sarah and Aiden, they had their beds and their rooms, and they saw that everyone is staying apart. But recently… Haru and Nala moved in together, and Ron and Zula are a couple as well and Allen wants to be with Julius, how they used to be… inseparable.

"Why do you think that is not right?", Allen asked Julius in an almost-whisper.

"You know why…", Julius' voice trailed away.

Allen knows that Julius means how it is not right because both of them are boys, but…

"Juju, don't you want us to go back to how we used to be?"

Julius sighed. "It's not about what I want. It's about what is right."

"I understand…", Allen said in defeat and started scooting away from Julius.

Allen was surprised when Julius held his hand.

"Sleep here tonight. No one will know.", Julius said reluctantly.

Allen smiled and got back under the cover. "Turn around."

Allen hugged Julius from the back and was happy to feel Julius' hands over his. There is nothing better than the feeling of Julius' back pressing on his chest. And Allen can feel new and hard muscles from all the exercise. Julius is much more buff than he used to be!

Julius cleared his throat awkwardly. "Al? Are you… turned on?"

Allen realized that his erection is pressing on Julius' behind. "Sorry about that. It happens when I'm happy."

Julius chuckled. "For me too."

Allen moved his hand lower.

"Ah! What are you doing?", Julius protested when he felt Allen's palm rubbing over his crotch area.

Allen smiled and kept his hand back on Julius' chest. "I see that you are happy as well."

Julius took few deep breaths to compose himself before speaking: "Al?"

"What?"

"Did you find any of the women tonight… attractive?", Julius asked reluctantly.

Allen thought for some time before responding. "No. You?"

"I didn't look at any women.", Julius admitted.

"Did you look at men?"

"Stupid. I was looking at you."

"And? Did you find me attractive?", Allen asked with glee in his voice.

Julius was irritated. Why is Allen teasing him? Allen even touched his privates and now Julius is thinking about it! But he will not go down without a fight.

"Did you find ME attractive?"

"Absolutely…", Allen's breath splashed on the back of Julius' neck. "You were the most handsome man in the nightclub… after me."

"Hmph! Sleep!", Julius grumbled while hoping that Allen didn't notice his goosebumps.

Allen chuckled and buried his face in Julius' back. He inhaled deeply. "This is nice. I missed you."

"Yeah. I missed you too…", Julius admitted.

Julius is not sure how Allen does it, but the bed was not uncomfortable anymore and he slept off within minutes.

Allen felt that Julius' breathing became deep and steady. He is happy that Julius slept off quickly by his side, just how it used to be.

Allen planted a light kiss at the back of Julius' neck and whispered: "I missed you more…"

---

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