I'm Spider-Man (MCU)

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The night air brought on a cold wind as Peter and Wade emerged from the dimly lit corridors of the abandoned hospital.

The ordeal they had just faced was finally over, the echoes of their triumph fading into the shadows behind them.

The building had been cleared of any and all nefarious individuals who had subjected Wade and many others to unspeakable tortures in hopes of activating their dormant X-Gene and turning them into super-powered slaves.

Outside, the moon cast a faint glow over the desolate landscape.

Waiting patiently by the entrance, bathed in the pale light, stood Lily, Peter's 10-year-old daughter.

Her eyes widened as she caught sight of her father and the mangled-looking figure beside him.

"Dad!" Lily exclaimed, bounding toward them with unbridled excitement. "You're back! Who's this guy?" She looks at Wade in confusion and pity.

The perks of being an AI allowed Lily to see Wade, not as the monster that he currently appeared to be, but as a man who was most likely tortured a great deal.

After all, his face alone made him look like a burn victim.

Peter smiled under his mask as he embraced his daughter. "This is someone I want you to meet. His name is Wade Wilson. He helped me clear out all of the bad guys inside."

"Hi there, Little lady!" Wade condescendingly greeted Lily, his voice slow and overly loud, as if he were addressing someone mentally challenged or deaf.

It was clear that Wade didn't have much experience with children, and his interactions reflected that ignorance.

"I'm Wade! Can you say Wade?" He said, a touch of patronizing kindness in his voice. "You must be Spider-Girl, huh? Your Daddy here tells me you're one smart cookie!"

Lily tilted her head, scrutinizing Wade's peculiar behavior.

She turned to her father, her voice tinged with concern. "Dad, does he have something wrong with his head? Did those bad guys beat his brain into mush?"

Peter chuckled and shook his head, placing a reassuring hand on Lily's shoulder. "No, sweetheart, Wade's just... well, he's an idiot. But don't worry, he's harmless."

Well, that wasn't exactly the truth.

Deadpool is extremely deadly, though Peter knew that he was harmless to her, as Wade would never harm an innocent person, especially a kid.

As they continued their conversation, a familiar figure emerged from the shadows.

MJ, Peter's girlfriend, and Lily's mother approached them, wearing her Silk suit, with a mix of relief and frustration hidden under her mask. Her eyes bore into Peter with a steely gaze.

"Ahem!" MJ cleared her throat, drawing everyone's attention. "You took our daughter out at this ungodly hour? Do you know how much I've had to deal with since you left? The grannies have been pacing around the whole house in worry. I've had to listen to them complain for hours!"

The only reason that she knew where Peter and her daughter were was thanks for her place in the Avengers.

As soon as Peter called for a team to come and clean up the hospital and help with the survivors, she was able to receive the information from Jarvis.

MJ glared straight at Peter, clearly unhappy. "Not only that, but you even gave her the Spider suit without me? That's a big moment for our daughter that I would have liked to be there for. And I would have also liked to be there for her first day as a superhero, but that seems to have passed as well..."

Since MJ wasn't as overprotective as Lily's grandparent, she was mainly upset at the fact that she wasn't included.

Peter glanced at MJ, realizing he had made a series of missteps in his eagerness to show his daughter the dragon graveyard. He knew he had some explaining to do.

"Uhh... Oops?" Peter replied dumbly, his voice tinged with remorse. "It was all a bit chaotic, and I didn't really think. I should have included you, I know. I'm sorry."

MJ's frustration softened slightly as she knew that Peter wasn't purposely excluding her.

She sighed, her anger giving way to concern. "You're damn right you're sorry. But I'm just glad that nothing went wrong and our daughter is safe. Listening to my mother you'd think she would've been turned into minced meat by now." MJ said, clearly annoyed with Grace's overprotective nature.

Though her protectiveness was certainly warranted. After all, Lily is only a child.

MJ sighed once again. "Let's talk about this later, okay? Someone needs to get to bed." She turns to Lily. "It's way past your bedtime."

Peter nodded, grateful that MJ didn't seem too mad at him. "I'll follow you guys back in a bit. I need to find a place for Wade to spend the night." He glanced at Wade, who was watching the family-oriented exchange with a mixture of amusement and curiosity.

"Come on." MJ said, holding her hand out to her daughter. "Let's get you home. It's been a long night."

As they made their way into the darkness, heading back home to quell the boiling concern of Lily's grandmothers, Wade turned to Peter.

"Wow, she's a fiery one, isn't she?" He says, giving Peter an approving nod. "She reminds me of my sweet Vanessa. If only I could-"

Wade was interrupted by the appearance of multiple black SUVs, which quickly sped into the parking lot, parked, and released countless armed agents in black suits.

"Sir!" One of the more senior agents paced over to Peter and greeted him with respect.

Peter nodded as he motioned at the Hospital behind him. "Inside you'll find everything I explained. Help the captives, detain any of the surviving guards, and clean up the rest of the scene as usual. I want a complete list of each captive's name and address along with any other needed information. Especially if they activated their X-Gene."

"Yes, sir!" The man said as he turned and began shouting orders.

Ignoring them, Peter turned to Wade. "Okay, we should get moving. I need to find you a place to stay."

...

..

.

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The next day, Peter awoke alone in his bed after only a few hours of sleep.

After finding Wade a hotel room, which was paid for with his Avengers company card, Peter bid him farewell and left to get some sleep.

Thankfully, Grace and May were already in bed by the time he got home, which saved him from a very long lecture that will no doubt take place as soon as he leaves his room.

'Let's face the music...' Peter thought as he climbed out of his warm bed and made his way downstairs.

Instantly, he was met with the glare of two grandmas, who were ready and waiting for this very moment.

'Here we go...'

...

..

.

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After spending an hour silently nodding his head up and down, doing his best to placate the angry Grannies, Peter was finally free.

Truthfully, the whole situation would have been much worse, but thankfully, Lily and MJ seemed to have spoken up for him beforehand, saving him from a much longer and no doubt louder lecture.

And since he was free, Peter thought it best to give the angry women some space, so he donned his spider suit and portal'd right into Wade's hotel room.

"Aaahhh... Oh yeah, baby... F*ck me!" The sounds of a bed shaking alongside womanly moans echoed from the open bedroom down the hall.

Turning his head, Peter stared straight into the open door and found a scene that made him want to wash his eyes out with bleach.

Wade, who was completely naked, hid his face under a brown paper bag, on which he drew a goofy-looking face, was tied to his bed and being ridden by a middle-aged prostitute.

Liquor bottles filled the room and the smell of cigarette smoke clouded the air.

"I..." Peter muttered, wondering if he should make his presence known before finally coming to a decision. "I'm not dealing with this."

Stepping back into the portal, Peter was once again met by the glares of Grace and May.

'You know what?' Peter thought as he stepped back through the portal once again. 'I'd rather be here right now.'

He knew that May and Grace wouldn't be mad at him for long, as they were only worried for Lily, so for now he would simply allow them some time to cool down.

Closing the bedroom door with a wave of his hand and opening all of the windows to vent the air, Peter grabbed the hotel's menu and ordered himself some room service while he waited for Wade to finish his business.

'What's on TV?' Peter wondered as he took a seat on the couch.

Though as he sat down, Peter could feel something sticky under him. Taking a closer look, he soon noticed that the couch, which was in pristine condition yesterday, was now covered in some unknown substances.

Well, Peter could guess what it was but he didn't exactly want to think about it.

(A/N: 🤢🤮)

"This might just be the worst day that I've ever had..."

A/N: 1529 words :)

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