Chapter 85 - Making Peace With Yourself
"Then the problem remains with yourself, Anne. No one is going to be able to help you but yourself. You have to make peace with yourself and forgive your old self because she had to feel that painful suffering. I think if you can forgive who you used to be, the pain inside yourself will also go away. I feel like your old self still carries the feelings for Leon. That is why the painful feelings stay within you. Forget all the people who have betrayed and disappointed you, help your old self to forgive them. I'm sure the unbearable feeling you have for Leon and Steffi will disappear if you do that. You should trust what I say, Anne. Making peace with yourself is the most powerful medicine," said Jack quietly with a smile.
"Do you also practice what you preach, Jack?" asked Anne back.
"Of course I do. How could I possibly give you this advice if I haven't done it myself?" replied Jack briefly.
Anne was silent to hear Jack's words. Deep down, she agreed to what Jack had said. She felt there was another side in her that did not want to forget the betrayal by Leon and Steffi. That was probably why all the memories about their betrayal resurfaced so easily when she met them yesterday. Even though she actually wanted to forget it and did not want to remember it anymore since it would only bring pain inside of her.
"You have to forgive yourself first before you forgive others. You deserve to be forgiven more than anyone else in this world. So that when you feel alone and sad there will be another side of you that will comfort you when the whole world leaves you behind," said Jack again, getting up from the sand and walking towards the beach.
Anne was still sitting where she was when Jack played with water, she was still trying to digest all of Jack's words.
"Forgiving myself," said Anne softly, repeating Jack's words.
Anne's tears suddenly flowed profusely as she remembered how much she had suffered because she wanted to keep her fake marriage for Mrs. Catherine. For her, every day was hell full of heartache. Leon was not the only one who hurt her in the past, the servants at their house also made Anne look like disgusting trash.
"Were you suffering that much in the past, Anne? Why did you decide to endure all of the pain in the past, Anne? Did you not know you have to live with this pain now? Why did you have to be that patient? Why? huhuhuhu,"
Anne tears broke as soon as she talked to herself, her tears flowed even more profusely than when she divorced Leon two years ago because Leon preferred Steffi who was prettier than her. Anne cried over her kindness in the past which was used by these bad people. Anne seemed to be unable to live in peace because she always got disappointment since her childhood.
From a distance, Jack just smiled seeing Anne cry, even though he would actually be angry if Anne did that for other reasons. However, because he had previously asked Anne to make peace with herself, he gave her the time to vent all her inner feelings. He knew how it felt to be in Anne's position because he had already experienced it several years ago.
Because it was getting late, Jack ended his walk on the beach, he then approached Anne who was still sitting in her original place without moving.
"How are you feeling now, Anne? Much better?" Jack asked quietly as he sat back down beside Anne.
"Huum, yes. I feel so much better, I feel more relieved. I feel like a huge burden has been lifted off from my shoulders," answered Anne excitedly.
"Good, now I hope that in the future you will really forgive them. Let them live in fear, believe that karma exists," said Jack again.
"Now tell me the biggest reason you hid your real job from me, Jack? Don't you owe me that explanation Mr. Jackson Patrick Muller," asked Anne suddenly with a smile full of mockery.
"Because you didn't ask me, from the start we met you only asked my name without asking about my background in detail, right?" Jack replied quickly.
"Oh yeah, you were just asking if I could mix coffee or not. Those two questions were what you asked me, so don't blame me for not telling you about my real job," explained Jack further, adding his previous words.
"Yes, that's right. But ..."
"Let's not talk about it anymore, let's find some food because I'm hungry. As a former boss you have to treat me with something nice," Jack said quickly cutting off Anne's words as he got up from Anne's side and walked towards the restaurant on the beach.
"But you're richer than me Jack!!!" squealed Anne loudly, she could not accept it when Jack asked her to buy him some food.
"You're my boss Anne, don't forget that. You haven't paid my last salary anyway," Jack said back.
Hearing Jack's last words made Anne even angrier, she then ran towards Jack and gave her former barista multiple punches. After Anne did what Jack previously suggested, Anne felt so much better. All the resentment and hurt inside her had completely disappeared. She felt like a new person who had nothing to do either with Leon or Steffi.
"The wait for the last four months has finally paid off, seeing you laugh like this again makes me feel much more alive, Anne," Jack said to himself while not taking his eyes off Anne who was reading the menu in front of him.
To be continued
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