“Ah, I don’t know why I bother, really. Even if I ask, you’re just going to deny it.”
“Do I actually like him…..?”
“Eh?”
Hearing my words, Gilles does a double take and stares at me, wide-eyed.
…..Did I really say something that weird? I just said what he wanted to hear. I only tried to answer his question honestly.
“Alicia, saying you like him, means that you have feelings for him, you know?”
“I know.”
“Really?”
Why is he having so much trouble believing me? What reason would I have to lie?
It’s just that I realized something when I was imagining being in Duke-Sama’s shoes. My heart felt stuffy when I thought about him saying those things to me. It was very unpleasant imagining him falling in love with someone other than me. All this time, I’ve been thinking it would be fine if he clung to the heroine instead of me, but after really imaging it, I’ve changed my mind. I wouldn’t like that at all.
But, in order to realize my dream, I need to stifle these feelings, don’t I?
I’ve never heard of a villainess who was involved with a prince. At least, not successfully. In the end, it was always the heroine that the prince would latch onto.
Plus, in this country, the tradition is for the saintess to marry the crown prince…. Which would mean that Liz-san is destined to marry Duke-Sama, right?
“….No, never mind. I don’t know.”
“You just said you knew.”
“I did…. Er, I thought I did but…. I don’t know anymore. I feel like my thoughts have gotten lost in a maze. They just keep going around in circles.”
“Hm. But I feel like even that was a big step forward for you, Alicia,” Gilles says, nodding his head.
……Why is he looking at me like that? Like he’s proud of a small child who’s just managed to take her first steps?
“For now, I need to see Duke-Sama and apologize.”
“….You’re going to apologize?”
“Yes. This time I will. And, of course, I’ll make sure to do it in a manner befitting a villainess.”
“It can wait a little while though, right? For when we have more time?”
“No. Right now. I feel like if the world were to come crashing down on me right in this instant without me being able to apologize, I’d obsess over this mistake and wouldn’t be able to reach Nirvana. I’d never rest in peace.”
“I see. Then, let’s go see him now then,” Gilles says, sighing lightly.
“Duke-Sama should be in class now, right?” I say quietly, making sure my voice doesn’t carry through the silent hallway.
“Not just Duke, everyone is in class right now. We’re the ones skipping.”
“With class in session, should I really just walk right into Duke-Sama’s classroom?”
“That would be the villainous thing do. Though troublesome.”
“I dare say everyone’s sleeping through the lessons anyway. Shall we liven things up a bit to help them stay awake? A little human alarm clock action?”
“You say it like we’re doing them a favor, but what we’re about to do isn’t exactly a good thing.”
“Perfect. As a villainess, I don’t aim to do good things.”
“Yeah, yeah. How could I forget?”
Recently, Gilles has seemed very grown-up to me somehow. I wonder what I should do to seem more mature?
No, wait. I, too, probably seem plenty mature for a girl of 15. I mean, considering my mental age is closer to 30, it would be odd for others to perceive me as acting childishly. And as for Gilles…. Well, he’s just a special case.
Without saying anything more, the two of us walk purposefully down the corridor towards Duke-Sama’s classroom.
It really is such a spacious and beautiful hallway. The floors are made of an extravagant marble if I’m not mistaken? Which wouldn’t be all that astounding, but add to that the chandeliers spaced evenly across the ceiling and you get a bit of an odd impression. Rather than walking through a school, you almost start to feel as if you’re strolling within the palace. Which doesn’t seem a cost-effective, or a regularly effective, method to aid in our learning.
“Once Liz-san becomes queen, I suppose she should make changes starting with this school.”
“Hah? Why would Liz Cather become queen?” Gilles scoffs, scowling at me.
“Well, she’s the saintess, isn’t she? That means she’ll get engaged to Duke-Sama one day.”
“I don’t think Duke will ever let that happen.”
“But that’s the law, isn’t it?”
Gilles’s mouth falls open. Hearing me talking about actually obeying the law for once must have come as quite the shock to him.
“So what? Break it. What are laws to a villainess, Alicia?”
“No matter how wicked I want to be, I can’t simply go around ignoring laws as I please. If we nobles do not uphold law and order within this country, then how should we expect the common people to quietly submit and obey?”
“That…. is true. I can’t refute that. But that doesn’t change the fact that Duke wants to marry you, Alicia. Not Liz Cather.”
“If I someday realize that I’ve truly fallen for Duke-Sama, I’ll do everything in my power to crush those feelings.”
Gilles doesn’t reply to this. He lapses into a thoughtful silence.
Was he displeased by my answer? But, Gilles and I always seem to be on the same wavelength….. He should understand where I’m coming from.
“According to the Holy Writ, the Devil killed ten people,” Gilles tells me, his voice low and even more serious than usual.
Ah. I’ve never read the Holy Writ…. It would seem Gilles has me completely beaten in this area. Looks like I really need to start working harder.
“While God…. God has killed a total of 2,038,344 people,” he continues quietly, his gaze looking faraway.
…..That number seems almost unbelievably high in comparison. A couple orders of magnitude off at the least.
“Through that fact alone, it’s clear that there is no strict line dividing good and evil. I refuse to just blindly accept things as fact without evidence. That’s why, even if prophecies, the whole world, and some higher power all say that Liz Cather is said to be the saintess, those words mean nothing to me. I believe only what I’ve seen with my own eyes, and to me, Alicia Williams, you are the true saintess.”
Staring into Gilles’s solemn, earnest eyes, I find myself at a loss for words.
There’s so much wisdom contained in his gaze. If Duke-Sama becomes king with Gilles as his Chief Minister, then I’m sure this country will be brought to the forefront as the finest and most powerful nation in the world.
“…..We’re here,” I say softly as we stop in front of Duke-Sama’s classroom. While I still believe that disregarding the laws of this country is utterly reprehensible, bending a few school rules here and there however… now that, at least, should be pardonable.
With that thought in mind, I place my hand lightly on the door leading into the classroom.
T/N: Alicia, your ability to pick and choose what you hear is on a tier of its own. The boy just pronounced you as his personal saintess and all you can think is that he would make be a good aid to Duke once he’s taken the thrown!? Being speechless and then moving on isn’t enough for meeeeee. Acknowledge it at least a little bit!!! Pretty please???
Though indeed. Not getting caught up in the idea of God being Good and looking strictly at the facts seems a good ability to have in a ruler. Do not make assumptions based on what is considered common knowledge without the proper justification. Question everything. Come to the correct decision for the right reasons. Gilles really will be great at all of this…… But still. That was the only takeaway you got from his brilliant speech!?
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