I Should Have Just Died

Chapter 105

That’s how the talk with Dania Gerald ended.

Alyssa and her did not share a deep story with each other, but they had a meaning in their hearts. That something must happen before the royal family can ask Dania for more.

Alyssa touched the pen and bit her lips.

What she does is secretly and slowly digging into people’s hearts.

It was something that Caradella used to say.

‘You have a lot of things to say, but no one listens to them? Then try writing it. I’ll sell it. Stop whining and do something productive.’

It was such a cold statement, but it awakened Alyssa. Caradella may have been sweet to her as a child, but not afterward. Caradella is not just her friend but a business partner.

However, the words she gave were still one of the foundational words for Alyssa. Since then, Alyssa has not disclosed herself to anyone. She learned that honesty could be even more poisonous. There was no one for her to confide in, in the first place, but it would come to her as a weakness.

Instead of being a burden to someone and being hated by them, she chose the path of being alone.

Even if Alyssa kills herself, she does not hurt others with her own pain.

Under these many unfavorable circumstances, the novels were also a way to wrap her up as a better person. She would never screw it up.

‘Productive day.’

No matter how impatient.

Alyssa twirled her pen.

Clemore was a character whom Alyssa projected herself to. This youngest princess will be Alyssa after Avery’s fall. She closed her eyes as she took a deep breath.

‘Put yourself in Clemore’s point of view, Alyssa. Think of it as your own position.’

Only then will you be able to move people’s hearts.

* * *

Seidrick checked the full text of Alyssa’s novel and closed the magazine.

The more he read the novel, the more he couldn’t erase the idea that the main character was a projection of someone. Clemore leads a more glamorous and free life than anyone else, but she was a person who was drying up inside.

Instead of reflecting on the loneliness behind vanity and representing the glamor of the collapsed royal family, she volunteered to be insulted by everyone.

Clemore was beautiful and could enchant anyone, but she was just as much accountable to blame.

Because she was a member of the old royal family.

‘It’s definitely Alyssa.’

A strange feeling of deja vu instilled anxiety in Seidrick. Is it because of the characters’ revealed emotions, or is it because of his change of heart towards Alyssa?

Seidrick sighed and swept his head.

For today, all the tangled, messy hair has been pulled back to reveal his bare face.

He wore a suit and wore the Duke’s pattern on his shoulders. Today was Kendrick’s death anniversary.

It was a day when he had to stand in front of the people as the Lord, the host of the anniversary.

It was nothing special. It ends when everyone presses the black lace, and the eulogy is read. After that, the Lord, who led first, went to the cemetery to comfort the dead, and the rest remained in the mansion for dinner.

That was the main schedule for today’s event.

Seidrick shouldn’t run into Alyssa in the meantime.

Alyssa still needed a friend named “Sid,” and Seidrick still needed time to reveal himself.

Kendrick still hasn’t returned to his family. Seidrick touched the cufflinks with sunken eyes. The cufflinks studded with tiny peridot jewels given by Kendrick as a gift of the following year of his coming-of-age.

His mind was complicated.

When presenting this, Seidrick criticized Kendrick. Who would wear these rustic green cufflinks? But in fact, he liked this green peridot, but he said so because he was shy.

At that time, Seidrick was just getting out of puberty and growing up from a boy to an adult, so it was for the best. The next day, though, Kendrick perhaps had it on his mind, and he gave him a new pair of blue sapphire cufflinks and a new black diamond-studded cufflink.

‘The stupid Kendrick.’

His favorite among them was the green peridot that he gave at first.

“Damn it…”

He thought it would be okay, but it’s not okay.

Seidrick’s eyes have already burned red. Whenever he thought about his memories of his brother, the feeling that he couldn’t hide came out.

“I miss you, Kendrick.”

He missed that sweet and relaxed smile.

Seidrick slowly swept his face down with trembling hands.

He has to be okay.

He was a man with a huge family called Cambridge on his shoulders. He could never be weak in front of others.

Knock-

“It’s Pauline.”

“Come in.”

With Seidrick’s permission, Pauline opened the door to his bedroom.

“I wouldn’t have come here if it wasn’t urgent…”

Pauline crept up her toes. No matter how it is, it’s a noble’s private bedroom. She really wanted to say no.

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