I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

Chapter 470: Xu Xiaolan’s Judgement

Translator: Henyee Translations Editor: Henyee Translations

Da Bai was in complete despair. An Lin’s flawless lie had hurt him to the extreme.

Why? Why am I being slandered even after getting bashed by both of them?

This isn’t fair!

A brilliant thought suddenly occurred to Da Bai.

“Celestial Maiden Xiaolan, you’ve got it all wrong! I’m innocent! This was all Big Brother An’s idea! He’s the mastermind, and I’m only the accomplice!”

Da Bai wailed before continuing, “Big Brother An thought up this entire plot! When I saw you appear in the cloud mirror, I tried to stop Big Brother An from peeping. However, he turned on me and even gave me a severe beating! Don’t you know what Big Brother An is like? You have to believe me! Woof!”

Da Bai glared at An Lin as he spoke.

Hmph, two can play at this game!

Xu Xiaolan: “…”

An Lin’s legs almost gave out from under him, and he hurriedly transmitted his voice to Da Bai, “Da Bai, shut up! One person getting bashed is better than two people getting bashed!”

Da Bai sneered coldly. “A burden is always better shared.”

An Lin: “…”

He turned to Xu Xiaolan with sincerity flashing in his eyes. “Xiaolan, you know what kind of person I am, don’t you?”

“Sigh…” Xu Xiaolan heaved a light sigh.

Thump thump thump… bang bang bang… clatter clatter clatter… puff puff puff…

There was zero sympathy in Da Bai’s heart as he surveyed the scene of domestic violence taking place before him. Instead, he suddenly felt like laughing.

An Lin lay on the ground, bruised and battered. He felt like Xu Xiaolan’s fists had grown more powerful after she progressed to the Soul Formation Stage. In fact, it had grown to the extent that his body was struggling to handle it.

Just as Da Bai was about to pour salt into An Lin’s wounds by insulting him a bit more, a figure suddenly flashed toward him. Then, another barrage of fists rained down upon him!

Thump thump thump… bang bang bang… clatter clatter clatter… puff puff puff…

Da Bai lay in a crater on the ground with tears in his eyes. He was unable to utter even a single word.

He ran a quick tally to discover that this was the fourth time he had been bashed tonight.

An Lin had bashed him twice, and Xu Xiaolan had also bashed him twice. How fitting… how symmetrical…

Xu Xiaolan clapped her hands together. They were a little red from the beatings she had just delivered. “I know exactly what you two are like. So, I chose not to believe either of you and also decided to deliver a beating each to maintain fairness!”

An Lin raised his hands in the air in approval. “Celestial Maiden Xiaolan is so wise!”

Da Bai: “…”

“If you dare to peep again, it’ll be my Dragon Sparrow Sword that will be welcoming you instead of my fists! I’ll give you both vasectomies if I ever catch you up to no good again!” Xu Xiaolan warned in a frosty voice.

She suddenly drew her Dragon Sparrow Sword, and the sky was transformed into a world of lightning and fire.

An Lin and Da Bai both nodded emphatically as they felt a chilly breeze blow past their nether regions.

“Celestial Maiden Xiaolan, I promise there won’t be a second time!” An Lin vowed.

“I… I… promise… too…” Da Bai vowed as he lingered on the brink of death.

Xu Xiaolan formed some hand seals, and the Dragon Sparrow Sword expanded into a huge sword that measured over ten meters long and two meters wide.

“Get on!” Xu Xiaolan commanded.

“W-where are we going?” An Lin asked uneasily.

“I’m taking you to the detention rooms!” Xu Xiaolan replied. “Since you did the crime, you better be prepared to do the time!”

An Lin: “…”

Da Bai: “…”

“This… Celestial Maiden Xiaolan, can’t you let us off just this once? We have reputations to maintain…” An Lin pleaded with a fawning expression.

“Heh… Do you still have a reputation? I’ve already let you off the hook by not using my sword on you! Get on here!” Xu Xiaolan yelled with furrowed brows.

Under the rule of Xu Xiaolan’s iron fist, An Lin could only step onto the Dragon Sparrow Sword with a dejected expression.

Xu Xiaolan’s expression darkened as she turned to Da Bai, who still hadn’t moved. “Da Bai, what are you doing?”

Da Bai replied in a pitiful voice, “I… I’m too injured to move… Please help me… woof…”

After being bashed four times, Da Bai felt like a genuine quadriplegic now. How was he supposed to get up?

“An Lin, why did you beat him so severely?” Xu Xiaolan huffed.

An Lin: “???”

Da Bai: “…”

Fine… You have the biggest breasts here, so whatever you say is correct!

Thus, Da Bai was carried onto the Dragon Sparrow Sword, and the three of them flew through the air toward the university’s detention facility.

…

Yang Xin, the university enforcement team’s leader, was on the night shift.

His Goddess, Qin Wen, had delivered chicken drumsticks to him in a thoughtful gesture, which made him extremely happy.

At this moment, the sound of a sword cutting through the air erupted outside. Immediately afterward, he detected an extremely vast and powerful aura.

An aura this powerful was something that he had only ever felt from a teacher of the university.

He immediately walked out of the detention facility. Then, he was greeted by a sight that made him grimace.

A beautiful female in a jade dress was dragging a male and a dog behind her, both of whom were severely bruised and battered. Moreover, the male and the dog looked quite familiar…

F*ck! Isn’t that An Lin and Da Bai?!

Meanwhile, the female was also someone who Yang Xin was extremely familiar with. She was none other than the second student in the university to break through to the Soul Formation Stage! She was one of the top prodigies of the entire university!

What’s she doing here with a male and a dog?

“Xu Xiaolan, what are you…” Yang Xin was a little baffled.

“Oh, they came here with me to turn themselves in…” Xu Xiaolan replied. “Well, kind of. Seeing as they’re turning themselves in, please go easy on the punishment.”

“T-turning themselves in? What did An Lin and Da Bai do?” Yang Xin wore an expression of shock.

An Lin was the number one legendary figure at the school and taking him into custody would be nothing short of a calamity!

Last time, when he detained An Lin for fighting with Hong Dou, Goddess Qin Wen had almost completely blacklisted him! In the end, An Lin and Hong Dou blew up the entire detention facility…

Thus, he couldn’t help but shudder at the notion of taking An Lin into custody again.

“Xiaolan, save some face for me,” An Lin begged.

Xu Xiaolan smiled in response. “An Lin and Da Bai peeped on the female students bathing in the hot spring. Please give them the appropriate punishment for their crimes.”

An Lin: “…”

Yang Xin’s lips twitched. What the hell is going on here?

He had heard about the relationship between Xu Xiaolan and An Lin, and it was rumored that there was a great chance they would become Dao partners.

So… this situation is like a husband being caught by his wife for being a consumer of prostitution? And then being forced to hand himself in at the police station?

In situations like this, isn’t it normal for the wife to just let her husband off the hook after a beating?

Not only did Xu Xiaolan give him a beating, but she even detained him herself… She should be in the running for the Model Wife of the Heavenly Court Award…

All the drama series in the mortal world was fake after all!

Yang Xin really didn’t know what to say anymore. He forced a smile onto his face before continuing, “Er… Xu Xiaolan, you really are a good law-abiding student…”

He really didn’t want to detain An Lin. However, since An Lin was already “handing himself in”, he couldn’t just let him go!

“Of course! We need to nip these trends at the buds! If any sick pervert dares to emulate these heinous crimes, we need to strike them down with the worst punishment possible! We have to discourage them from even thinking about ever doing things like this again!” Xu Xiaolan replied in a righteous manner.

An Lin: “…”

Da Bai: “…”

Yang Xin was completely speechless. Are they really Dao partners-to-be? Why do they seem like sworn enemies instead?!

“Ahem… Alright, I’ll ease the punishment a little. According to school rules, I should be detaining you both for seven days. However, I’ll cut it down to five days instead!” Yang Xin announced.

An Lin and Da Bai both heaved sighs of relief. Any reduction in their sentence was good.

“Hmm… but I believe Da Bai is a repeat offender! He did the same thing with Zhao Huaiyin once…” Xu Xiaolan suddenly seemed to recall something.

“Oh! Yes!” Yang Xin’s eyes lit up.

“Da Bai is a repeat offender, so his sentence will be doubled. Da Bai, you’ll be detained for ten days!” Yang Xin amended.

Da Bai’s body shuddered, and his mouth gaped open. A suicidal expression spread across his face.

Xu Xiaolan nodded in satisfaction. “I’ve wasted a lot of time here; I have to hurry back to the hot spring now. I wish you a happy life in detention.”

She waved to the two of them as if she were bidding farewell to two good friends. Then, she departed on her sword.

“What a woman! She comes and goes like the wind, and she performs good deeds without asking for praise or acknowledgment…” Yang Xin sighed with emotion as he gazed at Xu Xiaolan’s departing figure. Then, he called on the other enforcement officers to usher An Lin and Da Bai into the detention facility.

Thus, An Lin and Da Bai were once again held captive in the detention center.

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