I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

Chapter 1892: Retarded Dragon Customer Service

Translator: Henyee Translations Editor: Henyee Translations

An Lin was in a lot of pain.

This feeling probably really wasn’t all that different from what a pregnant woman suffering from dystocia had to endure.

Hmm... Wait a minute...

If he used his sea of vital energy as an analogy for a womb and the little black dragon as an analogy for an unborn child...

He really was suffering from dystocia!

The little black dragon was thrashing violently, but it was unable to come out from his sea of vital energy. In the meantime, he was suffering from excruciating pain as a result. Wasn’t this the pain of not being able to force a child out of one’s womb?

An Lin felt more and more depressed as he followed this train of thought.

I’m a f*cking man! Why do I have to go through all this?!

“Ms. Bai Xue... Can you please hurry up? My An Lin can’t hold on for much longer,” Xu Xiaolan urged.

Bai Xue and the others had no clue what An Lin’s dystocia had to do with him not being able to see the Azure Dragon Heart Essence, but they couldn’t be bothered to ask. Thus, they immediately sprang into action.

Bai Xue swept her claws through the air and shattered the white bead at the center.

A little white dragon holding dragon balls in all four of its paws appeared before everyone.

An extremely warm smile appeared on its face, and it spoke in a crisp voice, “Thank you for summoning the Dragon Seeking Navigator, I am your beloved Xiao Baibai. May I please ask what you require assistance with?”

This was the Dragon Seeking Navigator that the Azure Dragon Tribe was so proud of?

An Lin immediately raised his hand. “Me me me! I need to see the Azure Dragon Heart Essence!”

Time was life right now; An Lin needed to calm the little black dragon down as soon as possible.

The little white dragon seemed to have not heard what An Lin was saying, and its smiling expression remained unchanged as it slowly tossed out seven dragon balls, all of which hovered in the air. “For normal services, please grab the first ball. For member services, please grab the second ball. For yearly member services, please grab the third ball. For VIP member services, please grab the fourth ball. For VIP yearly member services, please grab the fifth ball. For super VIP member services, please grab the sixth ball. For divine dragon member services, please grab the seventh ball...”

An Lin’s expression went blank. “What the hell is this?”

Bai Xue explained with a smile, “This is our Dragon Seeking Navigator’s ranking system. Different rank members receive different levels of service. Is it advanced or what?”

Bam bam bam...

The little black dragon continued to thrash violently, and An Lin’s body spasmed with pain.

“Could you... hurry up?” An Lin forced out a broken sentence through gritted teeth.

“No problem, Mr. An Lin. We’re the highest level members, so we’ll be enjoying the best service!” A proud expression appeared on Bai Xue’s face.

A hint of hope welled up in An Lin’s heart upon hearing this. He was praying that this infuriating process would be over as soon as possible.

“I’m a divine dragon member!” Bai Xue grabbed the seventh dragon ball.

An Lin gripped his stomach and stared at the white dragon.

Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up...

The little white dragon wiggled its bottom as an expression of disappointment appeared on its face. “Sorry, you have low-level members among you. I can only provide service based on the lowest common denominator. You will now be receiving the normal service.”

An Lin: “...”

All of the dragons: “...”

“Why is it asking us if it can already detect our levels of membership?” Xu Xiaolan was completely speechless.

“Forget about it, we’ll just go with the normal level service, can we hurry up?” An Lin gripped his stomach, and his face was turning purple.

The little white dragon’s friendly voice sounded, “To relinquish service, grab the first ball. To recharge and elevate your membership level, please grab the second ball. To continue with normal service, please...”

An Lin abruptly stood up and grabbed the third ball. “Normal service is fine! Hurry the f*ck up, you piece of sh*t!”

“... grab the seventh ball.” The little white dragon continued, “Error detected, please choose again.”

Bam!

The little white dragon exploded.

A new white dragon ball appeared on the platform.

Deathly silence ensued.

An Lin: “...”

Xu Xiaolan: “...”

“Mr. An Lin, you have to calm down! There’s no point in trying to hurry this process, you have to follow the instructions provided by our Dragon Seeking Navigator in order to achieve our objective,” Chi Yu said in a meaningful and heartfelt voice.

An Lin: “...”

Xu Xiaolan interjected, “Can we recharge to improve our membership level? Will we be able to see the Azure Dragon Heart Essence faster that way?”

Bai Xue provided a patient explanation. “You’ll have to go to a recharging station for that. Mr. An Lin is not a member of our Azure Dragon Tribe, so it’s going to be a little difficult. Normal service will get us to our objective the quickest, so please don’t be concerned, guardian deity Xiaolan...”

“Can... you... hurry up...” An Lin doubled over in pain. The little black dragon in his body was thrashing about even more violently.

Bam!

The dragon ball on the platform suddenly exploded.

Xu Xiaolan had made her move!

After the dragon ball exploded, the little white dragon holding the four dragon balls appeared before everyone again.

An extremely warm smile appeared on its face, and it said in a crisp voice, “Thank you for summoning the Dragon Seeking Navigator, I am your beloved Xiao Baibai. May I please ask what you require assistance with?”

“I need to see the Azure Dragon Heart Essence!” Xu Xiaolan replied.

The little white dragon seemed to have not heard what Xu Xiaolan was saying, and its smiling expression remained unchanged as it slowly tossed out seven dragon balls, all of which hovered in the air. “For normal services, please grab the first...”

Whoosh!

Before it even had a chance to finish its sentence, Xu Xiaolan’s hands transformed into afterimages and issued a series of commands.

An Lin was very elated upon seeing this. Xiaolan was the best after all. His life was in her hands!

“Now transferring you to normal service...” The little white dragon’s voice suddenly turned cold and brusque as it asked, “What do you want?”

A smug smile appeared on Chi Yu’s face. “See how intelligent this little white dragon is? It adjusts its attitude and expression based on the level of service offered.”

An Lin: “...”

Why the f*ck was he smug about that?!

“I need to see the Azure Dragon Heart Essence,” Xu Xiaolan repressed her rage and repeated herself.

“Alright, so you want to see the Azure Dragon Heart Essence?” The little white dragon looked at the dragons with them. “You’ve got high-level members with you, so you can see it...”

An Lin was almost moved to the point of tears. “Thank God! Finally...”

“However, you’re not members, so you have to watch some ads first.” The little white dragon wiggled its bottom.

“What?” Xu Xiaolan was dumbstruck.

An Lin: “...”

The little white dragon suddenly transformed into an imposing, musclebound dragon. “Do you want to be strong and erect like me? Do you want to be able to last all night every night like me? Do you want your female dragon to moan and scream beneath you all night long like mine does? Be a real male dragon and find your happiness! Come to our Hope Male Dragon Infertility Clinic, and you’ll find happiness for you and her1”

“Ow... ow... ” An Lin really wanted to kill the little white dragon.

“Is it over?” Xu Xiaolan was also having to fight the urge to kill the little white dragon.

The little white dragon’s expression suddenly shifted, and the background music of an RPG suddenly erupted.

An Lin was given a fright, and his face paled even further. “Wh... what’s happening...”

The little white dragon transformed into a gaming streamer. “Hey, guys, I’m the scum scum dragon! Trade your equipment with me today for better rates!”

Xu Xiaolan: “...”

An Lin was frothing at the mouth.

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