Jocelyn wished Keith could see that about himself. That he was the light of her life. But she didn't know how to say that without coming across as too intense.
But since he couldn't she would simply have to keep encouraging him. If she did it long enough he might actually believe her. That would require an awful lot of seeing each other though. If he truly did plan to see her every day once he switched jobs that wouldn't be a problem except perhaps for her poor muddled brain.
She didn't even know how to work out whether or not she liked him and how to proceed if she did, let alone all of the secret identity stuff thrown into the mix. How had Mercury and Nox done it?
It would be nice if she could ask but it wasn't her place. They didn't even know she knew who they were and she couldn't tell them without breaching patient confidentiality. She was alone in this as she was with everything else.
Jocelyn wished she had someone to rely on but things had never worked out like that for her. It simply wasn't her lot in life.
She kept everyone at a distance to protect herself. Now that she was finally letting someone in to a certain degree there were still things she had to keep from him. She didn't like it at all but there was nothing she could do about it. Her secrets couldn't be shared with anybody.
She was momentarily distracted by needing to order food. Burgers weren't a food she ate often. Not real ones, anyway. Only the fast food ones she wolfed down when she didn't have time to stop for anything better in between villain fights.
These were probably different but she didn't know much about toppings so she got the most basic one on the menu with a vanilla milkshake. Keith's usual ended up being a portobello mushroom burger with provolone cheese and a chocolate milkshake. She was about to ask him how that became his usual when she was distracted by the people sitting at the table directly next to theirs.
They both looked vaguely familiar to her. A stocky Hispanic man and a petite Black woman who were cracking up over something together.
"Can you believe it? Güerita truly is her mother's daughter," the man chuckled.
The woman wiped tears of mirth from her eyes and grinned, shaking her head. "I can't believe Avery ever did stuff like that!"
"Oh, all the time. I have soooo many horror stories from when she was little but she'll probably kill me if I tell you too many. There are certain things we have a pact not to speak of so…"
"Aw! Come on, Angelo! I haven't laughed this hard in ages. I won't tell her you told!"
Jocelyn immediately understood why they had looked familiar. She had seen both of them in the cover photo on Avery West-Slater's Facebook page. This had to be Angelo Cruz, the man Leah had rebounded on, and his girlfriend.
They certainly seemed happy together. Leah's interference hadn't caused them too much trouble after all. She was glad.
She had nearly forgotten that Mercury and Nox lived in Queens. She had never run into them when she was out this way but the apartment Leah and her children had hidden in for so long was here too.
Jocelyn couldn't help but wonder what those two were up to tonight. If Angelo and his girlfriend had managed to be happy despite what Leah tried to do…were they happy too?
She had been wondering about the two of them more and more often lately because of her own secret identity mess with someone important to her. It was a good thing they weren't in this restaurant with their friends because she wasn't sure she would be able to stop herself from asking for help if she saw them.
That would end terribly for her. She would out herself not only as Frostine but as Leah's therapist and that was a serious breach of professional ethics. Her career was the one thing in her life that was solid. She couldn't mess it up.
"Joss?"
Keith's voice brought her back to earth. She did her best to give him a reassuring smile. "Sorry. I thought I saw someone I know. What were you saying?"
"I was wondering if you wanted to hear about how my first couple days of training went."
"Of course! Tell me all about it."
He launched into an overly dramatic retelling of what sounded like a rather dull orientation and she couldn't help but laugh at the detail he was putting into it. He seemed reinvigorated by her laughter and got all the more into it as a result.
Jocelyn kept laughing at his antics and asking questions about what else he still had to do right up until the food arrived. Right now she and Keith didn't seem much different than the other couples in this restaurant and the thought made her feel strange. Most people assumed seeing a man and woman laughing and talking together had some sort of romantic relationship at first glance rather than that they were friends.
Was that what she wanted? If she excluded all the reasons it was a terrible idea…what did she want?
All she really knew was that she wanted to keep seeing him and spending time with him. That he made her happy. That she didn't know what she would do without his way of brightening her day at this point.
Depending on anyone was terrifying but hadn't she already been doing it from the moment she purposely kept ordering from the restaurant he switched to the third time? This was just on a slightly higher level. Oh, who was she kidding? This was on a much higher level.
When the food arrived Jocelyn realized why this was Keith's favorite restaurant. It was delicious! The difference between these burgers and fast food ones was staggering. Same with the fries and milkshakes.
"This is really good!" she told him between bites.
He grinned at her. "Told you! Best place to get burgers in New York City."
Jocelyn would have to remember this place the next time she was in Queens if she had more time than usual to eat. Normally, she grabbed whatever that was quick and easy before rushing off again.
"I can see why it's your favorite."
"Do you have a favorite restaurant? Aside from Lucky Lotus," Keith teased.
She rolled her eyes. She only ate at Lucky Lotus because of him and he knew it. "No. I eat whatever is available, remember?"
"Oh, right. But there have to be some places you go more often than others."
"Not really. It all depends on what part of town I'm in when I need to eat and how quickly it needs to be done."
Keith shook his head despairingly. "Joss! You really need to expand your palette. I think we need to go on a restaurant tour. It's official. I'm going to show you how affordable fine dining works in this city."
Jocelyn laughed. He was so insistent but she had no reason to say no. It would give her more of a reason to see him outside of work. She would be needing that soon since she didn't know how much longer he would be at Lucky Lotus.
Even so, seeing him for a few minutes a day didn't satisfy her the way it did before she got to know him better. She wanted to see him more.
"I look forward to seeing more of your expertise," she said with a smile.
Keith shot her a satisfied grin. "Awesome. We'll have to figure out some sort of schedule since weekends don't really work for either of us but I'm determined to hit as many as possible. Who knows? Maybe you'll have a favorite restaurant by the end of it."
That would certainly be unexpected. She barely figured out her favorite food but that had been because of his help. He might be able to help her find a favorite restaurant too.
Jocelyn had a feeling that the more time she spent with Keith the more he would rub off on her. That would be a good thing. She could certainly use some of his vitality to brighten her dull existence.
"Maybe," she agreed.
They finished their food and Keith exchanged farewells with the tavern owner before they headed out. They went to the subway station together even though they had to get on different trains to get home and she was both full and content.
Her confusion hadn't lessened any but that didn't stop her from enjoying her time with him. She could overthink on her own time.
This was the first night in longer than Jocelyn could remember that she didn't engage in hero work at all. It had taken them a while to get to the restaurant and if she wanted to be able to wake up for work she needed to go home now.
It was strange. Tonight she had felt more like a normal person than she ever had before.
Laughing and talking as if on a date with her best friend. Going to work, enjoying herself after work, and going to bed at a reasonable hour. Not the sort of things one did as a hero.
A nice sort of strange though.. Jocelyn could see herself getting used to this sort of thing even if it did cut into her hero work.
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