I Became the Academy’s Kibitz Villain

I was not a fool.

I was not the kind of foolish person who would kick away a prepared meal.

I was a man who went straight ahead when I saw a green light and in this situation…

I was certainly not a man who would back down.

“I can easily provide you with a room to sleep in, but I won’t take responsibility if a scandal erupts.”

“You don’t need to worry about that. If a scandal breaks, the country will probably approve.”

Baek Seol-hee responded to my provocation with a light chuckle and bowed her head.

“In the end, the country requires only one thing. Is my husband-to-be, the father of my child, a Korean? Does he hold Korean nationality? That’s all.”

“That’s really something.”

I was an alien.

Not the shiny, colorful alien we commonly knew, but a man from another world.

“So, you’re saying you are a pure Korean?”

“Are you of mixed heritage?”

“Hmm… As far as I know, definitely not.”

“But you hold Korean nationality right now, don’t you?”

“That’s correct. As the potential father of Miss Baek Seol-hee’s child, I fulfill the essential condition desired by the state. From the state’s perspective.”

Was Baek Seol-hee a person who should live or die according to the state’s demands, and who should have a child when they said so?

Not at all.

“Miss Seol-hee. I’m going to call someone. Is that okay?”

“Someone?”

“Yes. It seems like we’ll need something to drink if we’re going to stay quiet.”

“It’s not good to drink alcohol in a hot spring.”

“It’s not alcohol. I can’t just drink recklessly.”

Drinking in such a situation could lead to potentially dangerous scenarios.

“Could you bring something to drink, or should I go?”

“I don’t know where it is…”

“Then I have no choice but to go.”

Baek Seol-hee had overlooked one thing.

She thought of me as a rational person who listened well to all kinds of stories, and while Do Ji-hwan, the librarian, behaved like a rational person on the surface…

I was unequivocally a villain.

“…. Huh?”

“I’ll get some drinks. What would you like to have?”

“Ah, anything…?”

I got up from my seat.

Baek Seol-hee scanned me up and down with a confused look on her face, and I casually went out of the water.

“Wha, wha, what…?”

I could hear Baek Seol-hee’s confused voice from behind, but I didn’t pay any attention. I fetched a drink from the small refrigerator at the open-air bath entrance and handed it to her.

“Do you want to drink coffee milk or strawberry milk?”

“Coffee….”

“Here you go.”

I handed Baek Seol-hee coffee milk in a triangular plastic bag with a straw inserted. I cut the end off the strawberry milk and inserted a straw.

“No, uh, Ji-hwan…?”

“What is it?”

“…Should I report you for sexual harassment?”

“What? Oh, this?”

I raised my arms to the sides.

“I have nothing to be ashamed of.”

“…Pardon?”

“I’m saying I’m confident because there’s nothing shameful about my body.”

Just as the owner of the Lightning Hammer had reason to be confident in front of the gods, I see no need to hide or conceal anything.

This place was rented by me, and Baek Seol-hee was merely a guest here.

“Is there a problem?”

“…Can you really just show off like that?”

“I’m no different than the statue of David in Florence.”

Before reentering the water, I struck a pose similar to that of the statue of David.

“A body like this is like a piece of art. To talk about sexual harassment with such an art piece goes against decorum.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“Of course. I was enjoying a hot spring bath alone, and suddenly you, Ms. Seol-hee, barged in. I couldn’t possibly get dressed in the hot spring, could I?”

It was a legitimate point.

“There’s nothing about my naked body that I should be ashamed of, and why should I feel ashamed to be naked in a hot spring at a pension I rented?”

“But…I can see you.”

“I might be impotent, but when it comes to my body, it’s S-class; no, it can be considered a special EX-class. Do you agree?”

“……I would need to verify that visually.”

“Feel free to gaze upon this beautiful work of art, honed through daily evening exercise. You don’t have to feel ashamed. Everyone can’t help but admire an artistic object.”

Anyone who disputed this would be akin to Duoexini.

“So, what do you think?”

“……Just ten minutes ago, we were discussing the shame of the nation, and I never imagined we would suddenly be talking about national wealth.”

“Hey, not national wealth. I’m purely talking about this body.”

“Do Ji-hwan, by any chance, are you drunk?”

“Alcohol? Not at all. I’ll have a drink in my room after the hot spring bath.”

I would not drink while taking a hot spring bath.

“Ms. Seol-hee, have you calmed down a bit?”

“Pardon?”

“The mood was quite down earlier, so I suggested having a drink to lighten it up. We also need to talk about the part where you said you were going to sleep.”

I took a light sip of my strawberry milk.

“I can certainly listen well to what Ms. Seol-hee has to say. However, I’m a little afraid that I might impose my thoughts on you. I can’t force my individual opinion on you.”

“Well…”

“It’s not because I’m an S-class psychic, but as a friend. As friends, we can offer words of encouragement, but we can’t recklessly intervene in each other’s lives.”

“Friend…”

Her voice sounds slightly disappointed, but for now, we must converse as friends.

Otherwise, I might die at her hands.

“Yes. Friends.”

“…Can we not be more than friends?”

This wasn’t just a green light.

This woman was speeding on the autobahn.

“More than friends.”

I swallowed a sip of my strawberry milk and shook my head.

“I can’t go beyond a friendship with you. I’m a bit hesitant to say this.”

But the truth must be told.

“I have a daughter.”

“……What?”

Baek Seol-hee’s expression froze in an instant.

“A daughter?”

“Yes. More precisely, I have a wife. And there’s a life growing inside her right now.”

“…Really?”

“It’s true. Why would I lie?”

“…You could be saying it because you find me burdensome.”

Baek Seol-hee started to observe my reaction carefully.

“You could say such things because you dislike me.”

“Impossible. How could I fabricate a lie like that because I find Ms. Baek Seol-hee burdensome? It’s really true. Would you like to hear the story?”

The only way to defuse this situation was to ask her directly for help.

“Should I make a phone call now?”

“……Yes.”

Baek Seol-hee seemed to believe I was lying, but unfortunately, she was wrong.

“Please wait a moment.”

I tapped on my Taeguk Watch and made a phone call to someone.

[Hello?]

A woman’s voice came through the Taeguk Watch.

Baek Seol-hee’s expression hardened at the sound of a voice much younger than hers.

“Yeah, honey, can we talk for a moment?”

[What is it?]

“I’m in a bit of an awkward situation right now. I need to prove that I’m a married man.”

[…Hmm, I see.]

The woman’s voice also fell.

[Who is it? A woman?]

“A woman.”

[So you’re at that ‘brother’s’ pension with a woman? Wow.]

It was strange.

Even though my body was soaked in the hot spring, it felt like the energy of the hot spring was growing cold.

[Oppa, what do you think the ‘Chairman’ would say if they knew about this?]

“Um….”

It was a sensitive issue.

The answer was predetermined, but I couldn’t casually reveal it.

“Would they fire me?”

[No, you’re wrong. The Chairman would say this.]

The person on the other side answered me with a calm voice.

[One should not hesitate in performing patriotic actions.]

“…What?”

That was not the answer I was expecting.

“Excuse me…?”

[What is it? Do I look like the type of woman who would complain just because you’re seeing another woman?]

“No, not at all. Isn’t that… not normal?”

[You know I’m not a typical woman. Is the other person next to you?]

“Yes, yes. She is….”

[Ah, is that so? Can I speak to her for a moment?]

No.

Was she serious right now?

[Ah. Hello? Ma’am over there?]

“…Yes?”

[Please use it wisely.]

Click.

The call ended.

Neither I nor Baek Seol-hee knew how to respond to the words of this woman, who was as unpredictable as a phoenix.

“Your… your wife seems to be quite a unique person.”

“…….”

I couldn’t say anything.

Because for me, this was a situation I simply could not comprehend.

What was this?

Was this the dignity of a nationalist fantasy light novel world?

Heroes and nationalism, country pride, and all that aside was something like this even possible?

Could it be?

Really?

Ding.

The Taegeuk Watch twinkled.

A text message arrived, so I immediately checked the message. She had sent only one brief line.

[Fighting for the recruiting, handsome guy!]

Ah.

Did she really think I was using my body for recruiting late at night?

And she just ‘approved’ of it now?

“Really, there’s nothing more to say in so many ways. I’m sorry, Seol-hee. I didn’t intend to create this situation.”

“…Please use it wisely and return it? Hah.”

Baek Seol-hee twisted the corner of her mouth.

“…This is unbelievable.”

“No, Seol-hee…?”

“Do you know? The reason I came to see you today, Ji-hwan, was because I wanted to be a ‘bad girl’.”

Swish.

Baek Seol-hee stood up.

“The country is pressuring me, a woman named Baek Seol-hee, to have a child as quickly as possible. It’s true that it’s a patriotic act. If a child with special abilities is born, they will undoubtedly become a hero in this country. But…I would end up becoming a lapdog for the current government.”

Then, she stretched her hand upward and created a thin mist using her magic power.

“I don’t like that. I want to work for this country, for the people of this country. But I do not intend to become the wife and daughter-in-law of those so-called ‘greedy geese’ who exploit such goodwill to fill their warehouses.”

“Um, Seol-hee…?”

“Ji-hwan.”

Baek Seol-hee approached me and firmly grabbed the Taegeuk Watch with one hand.

“…Will you lend me your night so I can be a ‘bad girl’ for just today?”

“…….”

I spoke again.

“It could be treasonous, you know?”

“No one would think it’s treason.”

“…I understand.”

I was.

“I will assist in your act of patriotism.”

I was not a fool who kicked away the meal that was laid out in front of him.

“Let’s talk through the night.”

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