I Became the Academy’s Kibitz Villain

“People in this world are really too much, aren’t they?”

“That’s right.”

“I really feel like asking the Goblin to teach them a lesson.”

“Who? Those who badmouth Platinum Sun, or those saved by Platinum Sun, the Zenros?”

“All of humanity.”

Crunch.

Yumir picked up two pieces of beef at once, chewing them as if he were grinding something he disliked in his mouth.

“It’s really annoying. Does it feel good to scratch at people’s mental states like that?”

“Some people find pleasure in it.”

“Perverts. People who should be isolated from society, whether in Sejong Island Penitentiary or a mental hospital.”

“They’re probably under self-quarantine by now.”

“Under quarantine?”

“Yes.”

Yumir was unaware.

“In Korea, there’s something called the execution squad.”

“…Goblin squad?”

“They operate similarly, but the original is the latter. If we’re talking about execution by name.”

I watched as Yumir topped his spoonful of white rice with the grilled beef.

“Ah, thank you. You too, sir. Ahh.”

“Ah.”

Sizzle.

The beef on the pan in the middle cooked to a golden brown.

“What’s this? You seem quite used to being fed by a woman.”

“It’s basic to feed someone grilling the meat.”

“Oh, is that so? But it was my chopsticks… Hehe.”

“Creepy guy.”

“You took it without any fuss.”

“Yeah. So, is it delicious?”

“Yes. Extremely. This is that premium Hoengseong Hanwoo that costs 170,000 won per 100 grams! It melts in your mouth. Not just the meat, but maybe it’s because you grilled it so well…?”

“Eat a lot. I bought plenty.”

Buying Hanwoo for Yumir’s mental care was an excellent choice.

“Who did you buy all this Hanwoo for? Especially with the limited supply on Sejong Island.”

“You.”

“…What about Seol-hee?”

“Baek Seol-hee can eat different kinds of meat in the staff cafeteria anyway.”

“Ah.”

The difference between E(X) grade and S grade.

E grade had to eat in the student cafeteria, while S grade and other staff could choose from a buffet for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

“You won’t have to worry about food; you’ll eat delicious meals every day.”

“But eating meat grilled by you is different, isn’t it?”

“Of course.”

Sizzle.

The meat cooked quickly.

A splash of soju on the grill created misty smoke.

“Wow, does this clean the grill?”

“Not really.”

“Then why did you do it?”

“Performance.”

“What? You look like a kid.”

“Even in a kid’s body, I can do everything I need to.”

I wiped the grill with kitchen towels.

The heat from the gas burner had heated the grill, but it cooled quickly after I poured the soju.

“People are like this.”

“The beef?”

“No, the grill. It heats up fast but cools down just as quickly. Right now, it’s still sizzling because the heat’s coming from below, but once the fire’s out, it’ll cool down fast.”

“Ah, foreigners talk about something like that. What was it… a certain mentality?”

“Pot mentality.”

“Right! So, does that mean people’s reactions will also die down quickly?”

“Probably.”

When an issue arose, apart from those who took a sustained interest, most only cared in the moment.

“Right now, the media is all over it, the world is in shock, and it’s the center of a storm. Once the Zenros enter Sejong Island, it’ll quiet down. Only those who hate Zenros will mention them from then on, so you don’t need to worry.”

“If someone does mention them…”

“That’s for Korea’s execution squad to handle.”

“Ah, you mentioned that.”

“Yes. Here, have you seen this video?”

I showed a video.

“I know this. It’s the biker villain from earlier this year, the one killed by the Goblin… Ah, so it wasn’t the Goblin but the execution squad?”

“You’re quick-witted, and I like that.”

It was a relief that there was no need for excuses that weren’t really excuses.

“You’re right. I didn’t kill Red Scarf; the execution squad flew in and did it. I just took the blame.”

“Did you originally plan not to kill him?”

“I hesitated because Baek Seol-hee had caught him from behind. I considered just handing him over to her because it was annoying.”

“If that had happened…”

“‘Is Snow White the only one who can tame the Goblin? Snow White cools the Goblin’s rage!’ The media would’ve had a field day with that.”

But that didn’t happen.

“I don’t intend to kill just anyone. I make sure to kill those who have killed others, but I don’t kill indiscriminately.”

“Did you only appear when a villain worthy of death appeared?”

“Yes. But the execution squad operates a bit differently.”

I pointed to the Taeguk Watch.

“If I execute villains who have killed, the execution squad targets those who lower the government’s approval ratings. Their first priority is villains and demons, and the second…”

“People who turn ability users into villains with malicious comments?”

“Exactly. Those who incessantly damage the mental states of ability users. They’re specifically called ‘zombies.’”

“Why not ‘flies’?”

“Are they the vanguard for demons or the cause of spreading infectious diseases?”

Zombies did exist in reality, but the term varied greatly across cultures and societies.

It was somewhat unfair to real zombies, but in this world, ‘zombies’ refer to those who, with malicious intent, spread slander and unfounded criticism, turning ability users into demons.

“Ah, I see what you mean. So, the execution squad cleans up these zombies?”

“Yes. They make them ‘mystical.’”

“‘Mystical’? Oh, I know what that is. From the neighboring country, right?”

“Yes. They display zombies in exhibitions like ‘The Mysteries of the Human Body,’ or… if they prefer not to, they keep quiet or lose the ability to type recklessly—making it impossible for them to use their fingers as they wish.”

“The country does this?”

“Not officially. But it exists in reality, so everyone keeps quiet. If they don’t want to become ‘mystical,’ they better shut up.”

“…….”

Yumir lowered her head, her expression complex.

Her chopsticks, which had been moving quickly before, started to hesitate, and I wrapped the meat in a lettuce leaf and extended it toward Yumir.

“This is a bit awkward. Ah.”

“…….”

“It doesn’t seem right to suck on my fingers at the end.”

“Beef grease was dripping from the wrap onto your hand. I was cleaning it off for you.”

“With what? Your tongue?”

“Yes. Isn’t that a reward?”

“If you consider that a reward… No, never mind. Forget I said anything.”

I placed another piece of beef on the grill.

“The country will take care of the zombies. And the secret society has decided to support Platinum Sun.”

“Oh? Why?”

“Because I am in the process of persuading you.”

“I haven’t even said I’ll join yet.”

“Just being a target for recruitment means the society has already started protecting you. Whether you join us or not, as long as I need you, we will protect you.”

“What if the society started to see me as an ‘enemy’?”

“…….”

I thought back to the original story.

In that reality, Gunggi, Doul, Docheol, and Chaos were one by one charmed by the original protagonist.

Only the original villain, Goblin(C), tormented and resisted the protagonist.

“…You would have been tormented as much as Duoexini.”

“Wow, that sounds like a serious threat.”

“To be an enemy of the society is to ‘interfere with world peace.’”

Of course, in the original story, this was due to Goblin’s petty and spiteful vengeance against the protagonist who had foiled his plans.

And so, the protagonist, emotionally scarred, found comfort and healing in the heroines, and something blossomed between them.

“Don’t worry too much. You’re not an enemy of the world. You’re a hero, and the bad ones are those people.”

“……Thank you.”

But it wasn’t quite like that now.

“Still, after listening to their stories, I felt somewhat burdened.”

“Their stories?”

“The families of those who were killed by demons.”

“…….”

“They said this: ‘Goblin was right. We ask Platinum Sun: why did you save him?’”

“You said it last time. No matter what happens later, I will first turn the demon back into a human.”

That day—

The day Yumir and I sat on a bench by the beach.

“You’ve done your part. Don’t worry about what happens after the demon becomes human. That’s the role of society, not yours. A hero’s job is to save people. It’s up to doctors, nurses, and later families or social workers to care for and heal them.”

“A hero doesn’t have to shoulder everything?”

“Of course not. There’s a limit to what one person can do alone. But still…”

I extended the last piece of meat directly to Yumir’s mouth.

“Disregard what the others say about Platinum Sun, apart from the families of those killed by demons. It’s all nonsense. You did nothing wrong.”

“…Thank you.”

Yumir laughed as she took a big bite with my chopsticks.

“I guess you often grill meat and give advice to the Chief, too.”

“Well, naturally, I grill meat because it’s… natural….”

Huh?

“What did you say?”

“Hehe.”

Yumir playfully tapped my ankle from under the table with the tip of his foot.

“You said I have good intuition, right?”

“…….”

“I have a knack for this kind of thing.”

“…….”

“Now I’ve learned another secret about you, um….”

Yumir rested her chin on one hand, spread her index and middle fingers into a ‘V’, and then ran them across the corners of her lips while smiling.

“Do you want to go for a night walk with your sister, Ji-hwan?”

“No. I don’t want to. Don’t do it.”

“What’s that?”

“……Ah, you lived abroad, right?”

Then you might not know.

“People say don’t follow someone who offers candy.”

“Not candy, but I’ll give you something else. Something tastier than candy….”

Beep beep beep.

A phone rang.

It was Yumir’s Taeguk Watch.

“…Hello?”

[Yeah, Mir, it’s me.]

“……Seol-hee noona?”

[I’m at Ji-hwan’s house right now. My meeting just ended. Come pick me up.]

Click.

The call ended.

Yumir tilted her head to the side for a moment and let out a deep sigh without showing any expression.

“Wow.”

She chuckled once.

“Really clueless, aren’t you?”

“……Exactly.”

“Why did you transform back?”

“Well, because Baek Seol-hee doesn’t know.”

“……Hehe.”

Yumir’s eyes curved into crescent moons.

“So, the more I keep your secret, the more I get to monopolize that side of you…?”

“That’s right.”

“Okay.”

Yumir stood up, stretched her hand into the air, and winked at me.

“For a while, I’ll make sure the clueless Seol-hee never catches on.”

“Aren’t heroes supposed to help each other?”

“Well, Snow White and Platinum Sun can help each other.”

Yumir drew a golden circle in the air and made a cutting motion across her throat in my direction.

“Because women are competitors?”

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