I Became the Academy’s Kibitz Villain

His steps were light.

Even while carrying someone on his back as he ran through the streets, his steps were incredibly light.

To begin with, the person he was carrying wasn’t particularly heavy. She might have a lot of magic power, making her seem heavy, but surprisingly, she was quite light.

“It’s a big problem.”

[Are you hurt?]

“…Not right now.”

Yumir opened her eyes thinly and glared at me.

“I see why you’d say that. I feel dizzy and nauseous from being shaken so much. Can you imagine how others would feel?”

[Well, there’s an intermediary process with you and me. Others would probably just feel dirty and devilish if they experienced it this way.]

It was just a guess.

[In reality, there are many who have turned devilish.]

“Have you ever tried it?”

[Nonsense. I’m the one who smashes those devilish heads with the Goblin Bat. Why would I do such a thing? I have a wife and more friends than I can count on one hand.]

“Wow. Trash.”

It was the truth.

“So, which finger am I?”

[Are you asking about the order or your personal ranking?]

“Both.”

[Order-wise, seventh.]

One hand was filled with ‘villains’. On the other hand, from the thumb to the index finger, it started filling up with ‘heroes.’

[Rankings don’t matter. Let’s move on.]

“You just omit the parts unfavorable to you.”

[That’s what a villain does. Want to be a villain? You can be selfish, and no one will say a thing.]

“People don’t say anything not because they don’t want to, but because it’s pointless.”

[That’s why one becomes a villain.]

Heroes would get criticized for such behavior, but villains would just get a “knew he’d do that” response.

[The path of a villain is always open. Of course, joining other villains is no longer allowed by me. Since I’ve slightly revealed my identity, you’re now in my grasp.]

“Heroes are fine?”

[Heroes are fine. My goal is for the hero ‘Platinum Sun’ to join the Union. It’s okay to become an official, but you can’t join any other company.]

“What if I enter as an industrial spy?”

[If you enter as a spy and climb to the position of CEO, then a new world will unfold. We’ve arrived.]

Carrying Yumir, I arrived at my house. The balcony window was open, and I naturally brought her into my home.

[As a senior living undercover, here’s a tip: always be careful with the movement of the Taeguk Watch. If suddenly the GPS appears a few kilometers away, your identity will be revealed instantly.]

“Didn’t I reveal it by bringing you here?”

[So, we reveal to each other then?]

“…No. I refuse. I just wanted to see how far you’d play your games.”

Yumir wobbled a bit, sat down on the bed, and sneered with her Taeguk Watch on.

“It might be fun to reveal the Goblin’s identity as the human Yumir.”

[I don’t know what scheme you’re up to, but let’s see how it plays out.]

“Okay. Then…ugh.”

As Yumir tried to stand, she stumbled, and I immediately went to support her.

“Wow, so natural. Can you touch me now?”

[Isn’t it about time?]

“It’s about time, but seeing your hands naturally… ugh, feels unfair.”

Yumir glared at me and tilted her head for a moment.

“Aren’t you going to revert from your transformed state?”

[……]

“Aren’t you going to? We’re home now. How long will you stay like that? What if others find out?”

[Hmm.]

If I reverted and was discovered -> No longer mattered. If I reverted and Yumir saw me naked -> No problem…

-Yay! Saw the Goblin naked. Score! Lol.

It wouldn’t work.

[It doesn’t matter. I have another appointment after this.]

“You’re lying.”

[How do you know if I’m lying or not?]

“You, who so considerately left your bike and came.”

[…….]

As a man, being considerate to a woman had now backfired.

Still, I had no regrets. Whether the person was seated at the back or the front of a bike, considering the discomfort she would feel from the bike’s vibration, it was much better to securely carry her princess-style.

[The task I have doesn’t necessarily require me to revert from my transformed state. From now on, I need to search the internet to investigate today’s events.]

“Investigate? Why?”

[The S-class demon… Let’s see, it’s called Half-Toad. I need to find out where this demon disappeared to, how people reacted, and so on. This can help in tracking down an evil organization.]

“Really? Let me-”

[Only members of the Union can access the Union’s network. I’m sorry, but please leave.]

“…So, you’re just going to send a girl home like that?”

Yumir puffed up her cheeks, showing her dissatisfaction.

[Are you going to leave like that? Right now, your appearance is all over the internet, and there’s even a Wiki page about you.]

“Oh my, really?”

[Yes.]

We had a momentary separation from modern civilization, but while we were proving our resolve on top of a cliff, a battle to prove the same erupted on the internet.

[Look at this. Analyzing the live video footage, people are calculating your body dimensions down to the pixel.]

“……Wow, these freaks….”

It was a bit harsh, but I understood. When I first appeared in a suit as the Goblin, there was a huge fuss online about the video where my suit pants fluttered in the wind. They speculated on the size of the “Goblin Bat.”

-At least he’s not an Asian lol

-So, is he black? Is he a Bro?

Initially, the internet was buzzing about this.

-Why were all the photos deleted when I was trying to find out the size of the Goblin bat?

-Obviously, because he became ‘named’. You seem out of the loop. All those were deleted.

-Dang… I wanted to make a business out of the Goblin bat. Sigh.

After becoming a direct subordinate of the Chief, such comments were censored.

But for Yumir?

-Looking at her high heels, maybe size 240? I’m not sure.

-If she’s an ability user who can manipulate her physique, isn’t this discussion pointless?

-Rather, estimate the size of her mana pocket. At least an H.

-H… for Hero.

“No.”

Yumir chuckled while reading the community’s reactions.

“These people really…”

[If you join the Union, we can manage all these things for you. How about it?]

“…It is somewhat appealing, but, well, does it really matter?”

Yumir moved closer and hugged me tightly from behind.

“After all, only the Goblin truly knows the real me.”

[That attitude is dangerous. You don’t know how venomous they can be. They determine hidden heroes’ identities by analyzing the position of moles on their thighs. Never underestimate those time-based ability users.]

“Time-based ability users?”

[Those who can spend all their available time on the internet for research.]

“Ah, I see. Well, I’m okay with it.”

Yumir shrugged with a nonchalant smile.

“Now that the vague fear is gone, I feel like I can handle whatever comes my way. And… I have someone to consult if my mentality is shaken.”

[Who?]

“Who do you think? Hehe.”

Suddenly, Yumir stretched her hand down to tease me.

“Oh, you’re not avoiding?”

[Why would I?]

“Hmm. It’s no fun then.”

Yumir backed away and grabbed my head.

[Why? Trying to twist it?]

“No. Just don’t look behind for a moment. … I’m about to revert.”

[Okay.]

I stared straight ahead as instructed. Behind me, I caught a brief glimpse of something golden fading away.

Swish!

With the swiftness of light, Yumir grabbed some things and darted into the living room.

Slam!

From the sound, it was clear she entered the bathroom.

[Hmph.]

I could hear some struggling sounds from inside, but helping her with that felt a bit too much.

‘There really is a big difference between men and women at times like this.’

I confirmed Yumir’s struggles from inside with my ears and immediately reverted from my transformed state.

As always, I quickly fetched some clothes from my wardrobe.

Thud!

The door opened.

“Finally caught…!”

“Student Yumir?”

I pointed Yumir up and down.

“Put on your clothes properly before coming out. What are you thinking, stepping out with just a white T-shirt on top? Are you planning to go home like that?”

“……How did…?”

“What?”

I raised both my arms and shrugged.

“What’s wrong with a man being shirtless in his own home?”

Wearing only trousers and shorts, I grinned towards Yumir.

“Any complaints, student Yumir?”

“……”

Yumir gritted her teeth at me and retreated back into the bathroom.

Bang!

The bathroom door closed roughly, and I casually picked up a shirt.

“That was close.”

When you reverted from a transformation, your clothes came off. I almost got caught.

‘She must’ve realized it. Seeing that I didn’t revert from my transformation.’

She probably thought the same applied to her.

…Well, she might have had some inkling.

“Trying to sneak a peek at someone else’s naked body. Such a mischievous college student.”

At the very least,

I wasn’t exposed, so I guess I was safe.

Oh,

The incident after Yumir’s transformation?

The part where the Goblin handed over a coat magically woven to cover up transformed Yumir’s body?

That was what the Goblin saw. I, Do Ji-hwan, have no knowledge of it.

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