I Became the Academy’s Kibitz Villain

The protagonist of the original work was addicted to tteokbokki.

He loved the food tteokbokki so much that he always ate it whenever he met the heroine. Whenever they gathered as a group, they always had tteokbokki.

Normally, men tended to go for safe choices like pasta or sushi when they were fairly friendly with a woman or, if their wallet allowed, a steakhouse.

But the protagonist stubbornly insists on eating tteokbokki from the beginning.

I thought it might have been his strategy to survive in Korea as a foreigner from behind the blonde wall, but now I think it was probably just because the author liked tteokbokki.

‘The description of tteokbokki was unnecessarily detailed.’

I was confused whether I was reading a Korean light novel or a gourmet critic’s essay on tteokbokki, as it was so specific and verbose.

The description of tteokbokki in one episode was more than the back-and-forth with the heroine, so it was only natural for readers to say they had spread rice cake on the post every time a tteokbokki story came up or that speed bumps were strewn with rice cakes.

Of course, I didn’t read those parts.

However, there were a few times when I seriously considered unsubscribing when I realized that the post that came out once a day was nothing but praise for tteokbokki, and there was no serial number.

Still, there were a few times when I thought, ‘They’ve written this much. Maybe I’ll read it once’, and eventually, while reading, I learned about the protagonist’s taste for tteokbokki.

The protagonist was the author’s alter ego.

The author was crazy about tteokbokki.

Therefore, it was only natural that Yumir liked tteokbokki.

But.

“What did you just say?”

“I said, the first time, it’s tteokbokki.”

Yumir lifted a thick rice cake with her chopsticks and placed it on the plate in front of her.

Then she stretched it out long and started to chew the end of the rice cake.

“Right, the first time is tteokbokki. I’m more into fried food, though.”

I picked up a squid ring with my chopsticks.

The fried squid ring was slightly larger than if I made a ring with my fingers, and I poured a bit of tteokbokki sauce on it on the plate.

“……Hmm.”

Yumir seemed somewhat displeased, but I swirled the chopsticks around the inside of the squid ring.

“……!!”

Yumir’s eyes began to shake. She was just about to munch on the rice cake, but she stopped and put the plate down as if something had come up.

“Gulp. What are you doing now?”

“Dipping in the sauce.”

I swirled the inside of the ring with the chopsticks. The tteokbokki sauce started dripping from the end of the chopsticks, and I lightly grabbed the squid ring from both sides.

“……Teacher?”

“Yes.”

“What are you doing now?”

“Eating. With you.”

I picked up the oval-shaped fried squid with chopsticks and popped a large piece into my mouth. Thanks to the delivery, it had cooled down nicely, so there was no risk of burning my mouth, and I casually winked at Yumir while chewing on the fried food.

“Why.”

“…….”

Yumir frowned, using one of her eyebrows, and soon reached out for the fried food.

Click.

With an openly displeased face, she took a big bite out of a fried chili. She chewed the fried food as if she were grinding a small pebble, not savoring it but deliberately chewing it largely.

“Is it not good?”

“No. It’s delicious. I usually eat like this.”

“You eat in a very unlucky way. You’ll never be able to do a food show. The ratings would drop like a stone.”

“Why would I ever appear on an entertainment show?”

“Well, you never know.”

I placed a large tteokbokki on the plate, then wrapped the rice cake with a fish cake strip. Even though it was soaked in the sauce, the chewy texture was evident at a glance, and I took a big bite of the rice cake wrapped in fish cake.

“…….”

“Now what.”

“Do you have scissors?”

“I do. But don’t Westerners usually not like using scissors at the table?”

“If a tool is needed, it’s human to use it.”

Yumir took the scissors from me and started to chop the elongated fries into pieces.

The fried fish cake was split in half, the rolled seaweed was disassembled, spilling out the glass noodles from inside, and the remaining fried chili was disfigured beyond description.

“Now that I think about it, I didn’t cut and eat. Should I cut the rice cake too?”

“I’ll cut only half.”

Yumir continued cutting while deliberately looking at me, but I wasn’t particularly disturbed.

If she was trying to protest in such a ‘metaphorical’ way, I was far more experienced in that aspect.

“I was so hungry that I wasn’t thinking straight. Just a moment.”

I took out two tall glass cups from the kitchen shelf and poured the accompanying plum-flavored drink into the cups.

“Can you handle spicy food?”

“Yes, I can. You seem to handle spicy food quite well, Teacher.”

“This is nothing. I’ve become used to it because I eat spicy food frequently.”

“It didn’t seem like you usually eat it?”

“My wife likes spicy food.”

Yumir, who was drinking the beverage, froze.

“So, your wife likes spicy food. I see.”

Well, round 2 had begun.

“How much does she like it?”

“She can finish a deadly spicy tonkatsu.”

“…… Isn’t that notoriously very spicy?”

“That’s right.”

Despite the extreme spiciness, my wife, ‘the boss’, managed to finish it. She enjoyed all kinds of spicy food and every time I had a meal with the boss, it felt like my stomach was on fire.

“Tell me if you think you can’t handle it. As you are an ability user, I’ll tell you a solution later.”

“Is there something?”

“It’s not something to discuss while eating.”

“Hmm… Okay.”

Yumir nodded her head immediately and continued to chew and swallow the rice cake.

“Teacher. Since you’ve told me something good, shall I tell you something good too?”

“Something good? What is it?”

“Well, about abilities?”

After taking a sip of the beverage, Yumir licked her lips with her tongue. The suggestive appearance must just be my imagination.

It must have been just because her lips felt hot that she licked them with her tongue.

“There could be abilities like this too, something like that.”

“Are you talking about abilities listed on the wiki?”

“Well, some are listed, some are not.”

Ah, I see.

She was proposing a trade now.

If I shared the Goblin’s know-how, Yumir would share the abilities she acquired as Solar Platina from the demons.

“That sounds fun. So, what kind of ability did student Yumir think of?”

“Well….”

Yumir put down her dish and leaned slightly closer to me, smiling subtly.

“Teleportation?”

“…….”

Just hearing it sounded extraordinary.

“It’s an ability to mark coordinates and move through space.”

“Do you say that’s possible for you, Yumir?”

“Me? Ah, no way. If that was possible, I would have appeared everywhere.”

Yumir waved her hands dismissively.

But her eyes were smiling slightly, clearly conveying the message, ‘Yumir can’t do it, but Solar Platina can.’

“I guess teleportation would be impossible for a goblin too?”

“Maybe something similar can be done?”

“Oh, really?”

“Well, there’s nothing you can’t do if you try.”

Appearing through astral projection was essentially teleportation.

Though it would consume an awful lot of mana.

“The Goblin on Sejong Island appeared in Jeju Island 30 minutes later, something like that.”

“30 minutes… Hmm. What I mean is a technique that takes virtually no time, being able to move to another place in just one second.”

“That might be possible, too?”

“Really?”

“Perhaps.”

It was a technique that could not be used unless you were prepared to use 90% of your magic and immediately revert your transformation.

And if I used that technique, I could only go to one place.

To the boss’s side.

‘It’s a paradox.’

The fact that I was fleeing to the chief’s side, discarding everything else, indicated that the situation was dire. But to actually use this teleportation, I needed to spend 90% of my mana.

It was not like an emergency escape device. In reality, this ability was useless for anything other than meeting the chief. Even receiving aid from the mana of others or ultimate moves didn’t help.

Regrettably.

But what about a being like Yumir, who was brimming with mana?

“Yumir, do you think spatial teleportation is easy? You need to calculate coordinates, ensure no object is in the destination space, and above all, you have to be certain that everything you possess can be transferred completely.”

“……”

“Why?”

“No, it’s just that you speak like a superpower user.”

“It’s just a thought I had while watching movies and reading novels. Even if you’re not an ability user, you can imagine having a superpower, right? Just as we’re assuming that E-class Yumir could use spatial teleportation.”

“Hmm….”

Neither Yumir nor I had any intention of demonstrating our abilities here.

“If you meet the Goblin, you should ask if spatial teleportation is really possible.”

“I’m not sure if Yumir will have the opportunity to meet the Goblin, but do ask well. Who knows? If Yumir provides some ideas, the Goblin might be willing to reveal a lot.”

“Do you think the Goblin would reveal it to a hero aspirant?”

“As long as they’re not villains or demons, why not? If you say you’re going to clean up villains like yourself, wouldn’t they agree and help?”

“Even the Goblin would have their own motives.”

“That’s something Yumir should answer. I don’t know what they would want from a hero aspirant.”

We would exchange useful skills if we ever met as the Goblin and Solar Platina.

It was a win-win situation.

An ideal relationship.

“Hmm…. Come to think of it, it would be convenient if there was something like spatial teleportation. If I learned it, I could come and go from your house at any time, right?”

“Do you want to be reported for home invasion?”

“Then where would you want to go if you could teleport? To where your wife is?”

“Hmm… a place I want to go.”

I lightly lifted my glass and looked at Yumir.

“Ulleung Island.”

“……Why?”

“Because I can patriotically enjoy myself for more than 2 nights and 3 days without anyone’s prying eyes.”

“…2 nights and 3 days?”

“Yes.”

Yumir was politely eating her tteokbokki while watching me.

“2 nights, 3 days… patriotic?”

“Of course.”

“That, that long…? Is that possible?”

“Yes. Despite how I look.”

I leisurely sipped my drink and winked at Yumir.

“I’m a man who went on a patriotic trip with my wife for Christmas, saw the New Year sunrise, and came back.”

If you are confident, come and seriously try it.

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