Chapter 32: Tis But A Dream (2)
I was mistaken for a battle-crazed, loli boss. Or should I say, a shota boss?
Not bad
Receiving wallets as part of the initiation ceremony was, of course, nice. However, the emotion I was feeling now wasnt simply because my wallet had gotten heavier.
How should I say it? I ended up in this situation unintentionally, but the more I thought about it, something deep inside me started to burn.
Just a few months ago, I wouldnt have even dreamed of confronting someone head-on, maybe just sneaking their wallet, but that was it. But not anymore. The local thugs were no longer the subject of my fear!
Strength, muscle, reach, etc. Most of my specs are still lacking, sure. But why did that matter? If we fought, I would win nevertheless.
Id only been fighting monsters all this time, and the first raider I faced was already half-dead from my surprise attack. Then there were always stronger people like Ellie and Lydia around me, so I didnt realize, but
I had become stronger! Enough to have leaped over the walls of the past long ago!
Once I realized this, somehow, everything in the world started to seem trivial.
I see. So this is the perspective of the strong.
Ah, Jonah is saying something strange again.
Shh. He must be pondering which organization to devour next.
Lemon and Apple chimed in as if they were unable to stand me setting the mood by myself.
Lemon, Apple.
What is it?
Did you call us?
But the twins were good listeners, so they hurriedly ran and stood in front of me. I began to step on their feet alternately.
Press, press.
Take responsibility for ruining my mood!
Whats with that sudden nonsense
I wish youd stepped on me harder.
Lemon tilted her head as if she hadnt thought she was heard or really was oblivious to why this was happening. Apple was just enjoying it.
I had intentionally stepped lightly, but I didnt expect them to like it this much.
After stepping on them a few more times with a bit more force, I finally let the twin elves go.
Haah. Fine. Ill let it slide this time.
Im not sure what this is about, but thank you.
Rewards are always welcome.
Enough with the nonsense. Go bring those growling gals over there.
Oh! Are we finally going hunting for our next target?
Well be right back.
Lemon and Apple ran towards the menacing thugs, laughing joyfully.
As soon as they started talking, the atmosphere quickly eased, and they all approached me.
The moment our eyes met, they bowed at a 90-degree angle, offering a respectful greeting. The former leaders of their respective groups began speaking, now in a much more polite tone.
Did you call for us?
Please, tell us your command.
Ah. I called you here because I had something to ask but before that, lets settle this. Why were you glaring at each other earlier?
Um actually, we havent been on good terms for a while.
After all, were all crammed into this small area So yes
The two answered awkwardly. For reference, the leader of the first group I met was still unconscious, so I left them lying in a safe alley.
I even covered them carefully with leaves up to their head so they wouldnt get sick on a cold day like this. Thats how warm-hearted I am.
Really? Well, Im sorry about the past, but lets get along from now on. At least dont make it obvious that youre fighting in front of me. You know what I mean?
Yes. If necessary, you mean you will eliminate one side to prevent any fights, right?
We will correct our actions.
No. I just meant dont bicker over unnecessary things. Just what kind of person did I look like for them to say that?
Scratching the back of my head, I brought up what I originally intended to talk about.
Right. Dont cause trouble. By the way, do you know any other thugs besides you guys? Not the petty ones, but those worth shaking down.
As expected.
You had planned to take over this street from the beginning.
???
Again, they admired me as they pleased. Im too tired even to care now.
So? Your answer?
If youre talking about other easy targets I guess Chloe from the south would be the one.
Though shes one of the Four Heavenly Queens like us, shes no match for Boss. Youll find her if you go about three blocks in that direction.
Why were there Four Heavenly Kings in this tiny town?
I sighed deeply and poked Lemon, who wouldnt leave my side.
Lemony Biscuit.
Euht Ribs are an erogenous zone for meplease touch me more gently.
Stop talking nonsense and crouch down for a moment.
Understood.
True to Lemons somewhat foolish but obedient nature, she immediately squatted down beneath me.
I climbed onto Lemons shoulders. The so-called horseback riding stance.
Oh, ohhh! Thighs on both sides! A squishy sensation at the back of my head!
Im jealous of Lemon. Do I get something?
Lemon was making a fuss, and Apple was looking this way with begging eyes. I waved my hand nonchalantly in response.
Lemon, get up now. And Apple Ill do something for you next time, so back off for now.
Understood!
Ill look forward to it!
From behind, I saw the former bosses envying Lemon and Apple, but that wasnt really important.
Did you hear that, Lemon? They said to go that way.
Understood! Ill become Jonahs feet and run with all my might!
Then Ill become the hands. Huh? Then, if you jack off now, does it become a HJ?
Ignoring Apples nonsense, I pulled on Lemons long hair.
Go, Lemon! Full sprint!
Lemon Lemon!
Extremely excited, Lemon started running with me on her back. Then, belatedly, Apple and the others started chasing after us.
Of course, she was slower than me. But it was comfortable to move around like this, and I could breathe the air from a much higher place, so that was pretty good.
I only had a brief moment to laugh and enjoy the cool breeze. As soon as we turned the corner three blocks away, there were thugs huddled together and giggling like all the previous groups had been.
While they were surprised by the sight of us merged together, I immediately stood up, kicked off from Lemons shoulders, and jumped.
T-huap!
And spinning in the air, I used the rotational force and kicked the closest one in the head.
Thwack!
Argh!
After taking one down, I pointed at the rest with my index finger and shouted.
If you hand over your wallets without resistance, we wont be seeing any blood!
This crazy brat! How dare you come here!
One couldve thought they were royalty from the way they were fawning over her. After finishing their overreactions, they finally noticed Apple and the rest of the gang rushing over here.
An overwhelming numerical disadvantage. But, surprisingly, they chose to fight to the end instead of surrendering.
How can you be born a woman and bow your head to a man! Dont you have any pride?
Pride is far away, and my fists are close.
Pride doesnt pay the bills.
Lemon and Apple nodded calmly. The rest didnt say anything, but they seemed to share similar thoughts.
The last thug bossprobably one of those self-proclaimed Four Heavenly Queens, Chloe or something, looked me up and down and smacked her lips.
For your information, all a man needs to do is lie down beneath a woman and bark for her. Ill make you a man today!
Wow! Did you hear that? Its my first time seeing someone actually say that in real life!
Arent you even embarrassed to say that?
Shes an idiot that doesnt understand being crushed by a man is better than crushing them.
?
?
Lemon and Apple looked at each other as if they were looking at a madman. They were just doing their usual foolish whatever, but perhaps it felt different to our opponent.
Chloe (mid-30s, buff) frowned deeply and shouted while swinging a thick bat.
What are you doing! Go and beat them up! The first one to catch them gets to have him after me!
Truly a vulgar reward. But it seemed to be enough to motivate her subordinates. See, thats how handsome of a pretty boy I was.
Five thugs rushed me at once. I casually waved my hand to signal that I didnt need help, then threw myself into the fray.
My excellent spatial awareness, a bonus from my pathfinding skill, recognized everything around me and found a way through.
And relying on the agility gained through the pickpocketing skill to move my body towards the path I needed to go.
Swoosh! Swish!
Uh?
Whats this?
No matter how surrounded, I could always escape unscathed from the encirclement. It was my first time actively using the pathfinding skill, and it turned out to be quite useful.
Though I still havent used it for its original purpose of finding paths!
Keeping the current sensation in mind, I methodically took down the nearest thugs first. Unlike the others, their crimes were more severe, so I used a dagger instead of my bare hands.
Slice-
I didnt cut deeply. However, to show that I could kill them at any moment if I decided to, I only sliced through the skin at their vital spots.
With dazed expressions, clutching at their necks or chests, they either collapsed to the ground or retreated to a corner. None of them pissed lemonade, but their will to fight was definitely broken.
The last one remaining, Chloe, swung her bat in desperation, but
You should just die.
Dodging by a paper-thin margin, I pickpocketed the bat from her. And then I struck her on the back of the head.
Whack-!
Seems like my experience paid off, as this time, she fainted after just one hit.
Thud!
Stepping on the twitching, hefty mound of flesh sprawled on the ground with one foot, I declared victory.
We won! Now, this place, the 4th Commercial District, belongs to us, the Jonah Family!
Yeahhh!!!
The narrow alley erupted in cheers, but that was short-lived. Just when I thought it was enough and was about to go back to wallet farming
Click.
With a clear metallic sound, a red-haired weirdo in bikini armor stepped into the back alley.
I received a report. Looks like I know someone here.
Ah.
Despite wearing desirable clothes different from her original outfit, how could I forget that expressionless face?
Explain whats going on here, Jonah.
The weirdos name was Lydia.
Well, you see, Miss Lydia I somehow ended up uniting all the local thugs
Disband them.
I just finished unifying them, you know, so disbanding them is a bit
A timid protest was met with a flick on the forehead.
Knock!
Disband them.
Everyone, scram! The Jonah Family has disbanded as of today!
As soon as the words left my mouth, the thugs scattered in all directions. They must have been scared of Lydia, who could easily be recognized as a high-ranking adventurer.
Even Lemon and Apple ran away amidst them. So disloyal.
A unification of the world Tis but a dream
Tightly shutting my eyes, I sighed, and then Lydia pulled me by my ear and spoke.
Right. Good job. Lets go now.
Ouchie! Wait a moment!
What now.
Before we leave, at least let me farm the wallets!
I wish she didnt look at me with those eyes. Its all in order to make a living, innit?
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