Chapter 28: Horney Is Weird...

Yesterday, we ventured into the labyrinth, granting me a day off today. Consequently, the destination I chose for today was none other than

Ding-

Hello! Im back after just a day!

Oh my? Seeing you so soon was unexpected. What brings you here today, Sir Jonah? Perhaps there was some sort of issue?

Have you finally realized it? That was my doing. (X)

Im glad to see you and concerned for your wellbeing. (O)

There was no issue. On the contrary, actually, only positive developments. Perhaps its all thanks to the necklace I received from Miss Eve?

Well, if thats the case, Im relieved. But remember, luck and misfortune are two sides of the same coin.

Ill definitely kill you next time. (X)

Im relieved. (O)

Its okay. I remember everything Miss Eve told me. By the way, are you open right now? Im concerned I might have arrived too early.

Lemon and Apple were asleep on the sofa, their limbs entangled. Seeing the two still deeply asleep, I asked her, and Eves smile deepened.

Yes, we are open. Its just that its the first time someone has arrived this early Im embarrassed you had to see this.

Youve witnessed something you shouldnt have. (X)

Truly embarrassed. (O)

Ah. Well, its true that I arrived early, so please dont be too hard on yourself.

Politely shaking my head, I looked for a place to sit. However, no matter how much I searched, there wasnt a single spot available in the small shop.

This was because the shop lacked space, leading Lemon and Apple to share the same sofa for their slumber.

Noticing this, Eve ceased her leisurely tidying of the shop and stood up.

Its about time. Would you mind waiting just a moment?

Watch carefully what Im about to do (X)

The sun has risen, so its time to wake the twin elves. (O)

Theres no need to trouble yourself, Miss Eve. How about I just do this?

Grinning, I sat down directly on top of Lemon and Apple.

Wh, whos there!

Izz an attack?

Having their stomachs squashed by my butt, Lemon and Apple woke up babbling nonsense. Their eyes were hazy, likely because their minds werent fully awake yet.

An attack? Thats a bit harsh. Where would you find an enemy as cute as me?

Gasp! Its something scarier than an enemy!

Why are you here?

Once our eyes met, their gazes sharpened, now fully awake. Lemon seemed genuinely terrified, while Apple cautiously inquired about my intentions.

For some reason, ever since Lemon peed lemonade, shes been overly cautious around me.

I gathered up Lemons long hair, disheveled in every direction. Then, as if wielding a duster, I lightly tapped the faces of the twin elves.

Pap pap.

Th, that tickles.

The smell of Lemons hair is unpleasant

Lemon and Apple struggled but were unable to push me away. I chuckled at their appearance and spoke.

I came here because I had something to do, but there were no seats, so I just sat down Did you mind?

Not at all! The feel of your buttocks was so vivid that it was actually nice!

Lemon. Its not good to speak too honestly.

Ahaha! Thats alright. Consider it the price for becoming my cushion.

Jonah is so generous.

Lemon doesnt bother you anymore?

Well, I settled my grudge against the two of you with what I received from Eve yesterday. And as for Lemon, shes always bothersome, so I just let her be.

Th-theres an angel here

Wake up, Lemon. Have you already forgotten what happened yesterday? Its definitely a monster wearing an angels disguise.

Lemon seemed deeply moved, while Apple scolded Lemon, tossing rude remarks about me. Whos she calling a monster?

Pressing down on Apple with my thigh as a sign to shut it quickly settled her.

After reaching an agreement with the cushions, I relaxed in a more comfortable position, but only for a moment.

Eve, who had been watching this entire process, spoke up with a voice more imposing than usual.

You seem quite close?

So thats your weakness. (X)

Im jealous, do it for me too. (O)

I nodded, casually dismissing the brain translator that was beginning to malfunction.

Well, Ive even seen them naked in the labyrinth after all. In Lemons case, there was an even worse incident So this much is nothing.

Ah-ha?

Understood. (X)

So when are you doing it to me? (O)

I could feel the brain translator going haywire, but I deliberately ignored it until Eve brought up the main topic.

By the way, what brings you here today, Sir Jonah? If its not about the side effects of Lucky Strike, Im at a loss.

Well, of course, I came to see Miss Eve! Is what Id like to say, but actually, I came to ask you to take a look at something.

I pulled out the unicorn horn from my bag. It had been dormant inside the pocket, but it started to shine brightly as soon as my hand touched it.

This is.

A unicorn horn?!

Oh. As expected from Miss Eve. You can tell just by looking.

I never knew a unicorn horn could shine so brightly.

How very interesting. (X)

Wow! A virgin! (O)

Somehow, Eves gaze seemed to scan not the horn but my body. Tickled by that sensation, I couldnt help but smile as I spoke.

I happened to acquire it somewhere. Where do you think it could be best used?

You just happened to acquire a unicorns horn, which is known to be extinct? No, I wont delve deep into that part.

Dont lie. (X)

Wow! A virgin!(O)

Uh Could you just explain it to me? I didnt even know unicorns were extinct.

Its simple. Unicorns are creatures that adore maidens. However, due to the aftermath of the War of the Fallen Gods, mortals concepts of chastity and sexual desire became twisted. The value of maidens decreased, and so did the population of unicorns.

You really didnt know this? Seriously? (X)

Wow! A virgin! (O)

Hmm. So, they went extinct because of that?

No. If it was just that, they might have somehow managed to keep their lineage alive. The problem was that as the concepts of chastity became twisted, so did the characteristics of unicorns.

What does this guy even know? (X)

Wow! A virgin! (O)

The brain translator and Eve. Her explanation continued, with one of those two completely broken.

In summary, unicorns were also affected by the gender reversal beam and started to prefer virgins over maidens, but their bodies still reacted sensitively to maidens.

Because of this, touching a non-maiden would cause them to vomit blood and die or become corrupted and turn into a bicorn. The same happened when touched by non-virgins, leading to a rapid decline in their population. And now, they were completely extinct.

Of course, it wasnt that there werent any unicorn horns collected and stored in the past but they were traded at a very high price, making them difficult to obtain.

So, its really been a long time since Ive seen a unicorns horn. Especially one that shines like this.

So surprising (X)

Wow! A virgin! (O)

I just thought it shone when touched by a virgin or a maiden, but it seems theres also a difference in brightness.

Surprisingly, unicorns can distinguish between maidens and virgins even after death. Therefore, even if its a horn that has already been detached, if its handled by non-maidens and non-virgins multiple times during transportation, the light becomes increasingly dull, and the power within the horn weakens. Its not that Im young, but this is the first time Ive seen such a horn.

What a precious material (X)

Wow! A virgin! (O)

Wowthats really a unique taste. Those unicorns.

I nodded and then looked down. I asked Lemon and Apple, who were looking at me and the horn with an irritated expression and snickering.

Are you two maidens?

N, no Im not! I may be young for an elf, but still, throughout the years Ive lived

Lemon is a virgin.

Apple?! Why would you expose me like that!

And I am a virgin as well.

Lemon vehemently shook her head in denial, while Apple calmly stated the truth.

It seems Apples claims were correct. After all, it must be because they had immense anticipation for their first experience that they completely fell for Gales trap.

What did they say? That he said hed go wash up so they should ready themselves, so they really waited inside the labyrinth completely naked but were captured by the other raiders?

Even after being tricked by a bloodsucker or maybe bloodpumper would be more accurate. Anyway, even after being tricked by a man, the two were staring at me with passionate gazes.

Smiling at their steadfast attitude, I proceeded to place the unicorn horn on each of them.

There and there.

Each time it touched Lemon and Apple, the horns light grew stronger.

Lemon seemed to want to die out of shame, and Apple just sighed deeply. To them, I announced with a dead serious expression.

I believe it. You are indeed virgins.

Kyaaaak! No, no Im not! I am an experienced adult woman!

Lemon Youre just embarrassing yourself. You must humbly accept reality.

Laughing at the two making a fuss, I then extended the horn towards Eve.

How about you, Miss Eve?

Hehe. What do you think?

Daring to dig into my past, mortal? (X)

I dont want to be exposed as a virgin at this age (O)

Finally, the brain translator returned to normal. Watching Eve stealthily move back, I swiftly extended the horn towards her.

Tap.

The moment the unicorns horn touched the back of Eves hand, the entire store was enveloped in a bright light.

Whoosh-!!

The amount of light was so immense that it could have made one go blind. Eves face, having just proven her thousand-year virginity, flushed red.

It was a rather rare sight given Eves normal relaxed demeanor.

I smiled broadly at Eve, who stood completely stunned.

Wow! A maiden!

.

It was petty revenge.

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