Finest Servant

Chapter 347 Big Trouble

"Borrow the cannon? Sure!" Master Lin exclaimed with great excitement, "I carry two with me, one big and one small. Which one would you like?!"

"Carry them with you?!" Lu Dongzan and Ashile looked at each other, perplexed. Can cannons really be carried around? How advanced has the technology in Great Hua become?

"Master Lin, may we see the cannon that you carry with you?" Lu Dongzan scrutinized Lin Wanrong, carefully asking.

"The small cannon? Here it is, you've both seen it," Master Lin proudly raised his musket, "This is called a hand-held cannon. It's a collaboration between Great Hua and the West, and will likely be equipped for our cavalry and infantry in just a few years."

Lu Dongzan and Ashile had dealt with Master Lin a few times before. His words often sounded as elusive as clouds drifting across the sky, with no way of telling what was true and what was false. However, this musket was exquisitely crafted and finely made, clearly no ordinary piece. Had Great Hua truly developed the latest handheld firearms as Master Lin claimed?

"Master Lin, what about the other cannon? Is it also with you?" Ashile hastily asked.

Master Lin chuckled, "The other one is called the 'big cannon,' and of course, it's with me. This cannon is a divine artifact, with an imposing appearance and boundless power. It once bombarded twelve maidens in a single night, and its firepower is still undiminished. How about that, impressive, right?" Master Lin lasciviously glanced at the scantily clad and seductive nomad women, nodding, "But your Turkic women are big and have been riding horses since childhood, so this cannon might have some difficulty taking down twelve. Ten would be no problem."

The two became more and more confused. Master Lin's cannon was going to attack maidens, then nomad women. What on earth was this formidable thing?

Seeing their bewildered expressions, Lin Wanrong burst into laughter and gave them a lecherous look, "Brother A, Brother Lu, speaking of this cannon, you both have one too. Only a smaller caliber, that's all. Mine is an enlarged caliber that makes women around the world tremble in fear and is invincible."

The two Turkic men finally understood what Master Lin was referring to. He was nothing but a degenerate, lower even than a beast. That such a man could become the Vice Minister of Personnel in Great Hua showed how far the nation had declined.

Their hearts filled with both joy and sorrow, Ashile laughed, "Master Lin, you truly have remarkable ideas. We admire you greatly. However, what I wanted to borrow was the type of cannon you displayed at the martial arts demonstration that day. The one with tremendous power and a compact structure."

Master Lin turned his cheek, not speaking. Ashile continued, "Master Lin, you are young and vigorous, full of fiery energy. These beautiful Turkic women here can help you cool down a bit. You few—" He pointed at several dancing Turkic women in the field, chattering in a foreign language, leaving Master Lin fuming. 'Damn it, what kind of bird language is this? It doesn't sound like English, nor French.'

Lu Dongzan knew that he couldn't understand, so he automatically translated, "Ashile says, 'Let them serve Master Lin well. Once Master Lin is comfortable, he will report back to Khan upon returning home, and promote their parents and siblings.'"

As soon as the words were spoken, the effect was immediate. A few Turkic women clung to Master Lin like unshakeable sticky candy. They twisted their waists next to Master Lin, rubbing their full breasts and round buttocks against his body. Ashile and Lu Dongzan also watched, secretly swallowing their saliva. For a moment, the tent was incredibly sultry, and the temperature instantly rose by several degrees.

‘Turkic women really have great figures. If I were to receive a chest push... ah, I'd be in heaven,’ Master Lin thought. His hands were vigorously exploring the Turkic woman's body, reaching down under the smooth satin and into her robe, grasping her snowy thigh, giving it a strong squeeze. The Turkic woman moaned, just like a sleepy Persian cat, utterly enchanting.

Seeing Master Lin so bold, yet in control, Ashile and Lu Dongzan sighed at their own inadequacy. Ashile swallowed and said, "Master Lin, about the matter of borrowing the cannon we mentioned earlier, what do you think?"

Master Lin's eyes narrowed as he touched a Turkic woman's chest, smiling, "Brother A, I'm afraid you've found the wrong person. I'm just a Vice Minister of the Ministry of Personnel who hasn't taken office yet, a small official as insignificant as sesame seeds. Borrowing a cannon is a military affair; you should go to the barracks. Don't you know anyone there? Here's what I'll do: I'll introduce you to someone, General Li Tai of Great Hua. You know him, right?! He controls the frontier army, and he has plenty of the cannons you want. Just go directly to him. Offering some fine horses and beautiful women should smooth the way."

Ashile forced a smile, "Master Lin is joking. How could we not know General Li Tai? He has fought with us Turks for many years. If we could go through him, we wouldn't need to come to you."

Lin Wanrong snorted in his heart. These Turkic people were no fools; they knew that Great Hua's biggest threat to them was the cannons. The old cannons were bulky and cumbersome, posing limited threats to the Turks. But now things were different. Xu Wei, under Lin Wanrong's guidance, had sent people to study cannon technology on French armored ships. With improvements by Xu Zhiqing's skilled hands, the cannons not only shot farther and more accurately but also became more powerful and much smaller. Now, just two warhorses could easily pull one. The Turks recognized the value and were trying to get their hands on one for study. But the newly improved cannons were scarce and tightly controlled by Li Tai, prohibiting any leakage, so they had been unable to acquire one.

"Brother A, what do you want the cannon for? Aren't you Turks known for conquering the world on horseback? Those heavy cannons that even two horses can't pull will be of no use to you!" Lin Wanrong laughed.

Lu Dongzan's eyes flashed, and he nodded, saying, "What Master Lin says is correct. We Turks are a horse-riding people, so the cannons indeed don't have much use for us. But these past few days, as we have been strolling around the capital with time to spare, it just so happened that Ashile mentioned to me that Master Lin had invited him to watch a cannon demonstration. My brothers and I were somewhat interested, so we wanted to obtain a cannon to play with. Besides, there are many rabbits and wolves in the mountains, and it would be perfect for us to hunt a few for fun. As Master Lin has said, the cannons are extremely heavy, so heavy that even two horses cannot pull them, so you don't have to worry about us taking them away. After we've had our fun for a few days, we'll return it to you. To show our sincerity, Ashile has specially prepared four beautiful Turkish women to present to you."

Lin Wanrong, a master of intrigue and cunning, could see through Ashile's flickering eyes and knew that he must have ulterior motives. Master Lin laughed heartily and said, "So, the two of you want to borrow the cannon for hunting? Truly a novel idea! But as I have already said, I am of little importance and have no means to help."

Lu Dongzan shook his head and said, "Master Lin, you are being too modest. When you led troops to wipe out the White Lotus sect in Shandong, the cannons played a significant role, and your reputation in the army was extraordinary. If you give the word, there's nothing that can't be done."

‘Damn it, these Turks have really done their homework, even uncovering these matters,’ thought Lin Wanrong. Seeing Ashile and Lu Dongzan's eager eyes and their desperate desire to obtain the cannons, Lin Wanrong sighed with difficulty and said, "My brothers, you may not know this, but although I have many good friends in the army, the cannons of the Divine Machine Unit are all controlled by Li Tai. You know what the old man is like, careful and meticulous, personally counting the number of cannons every day before he can sleep. Even if I want to help, I can't."

Ashile and Lu Dongzan looked at each other, not expecting that this Master Lin, who appeared greedy and lustful on the surface, would suddenly become principled at this critical moment. They exchanged glances, and Ashile, gritting his teeth, pulled out a small cloth bag from his pocket, saying, "Master Lin, I would like you to look at something."

The small bag was not big and very light, so it was unclear what was inside. However, Ashile handled it as if it were a cherished treasure, carefully revealing it in front of Lin Wanrong.

A faint, pungent odor came forth, bitter with a peculiar refreshing fragrance that was invigorating. Lin Wanrong closed his eyes, inhaling deeply, finding the scent both familiar and foreign.

"My Lord, this is something precious," Ashile said, licking his lips, his eyes flashing with avarice, as if he was holding a handful of bright gold. Even the composed Lu Dongzan's eyes sparkled, staring fixedly at the small bag without moving.

Ashile took an empty small pot and slowly poured the contents of the bag into it. Lin Wanrong saw clearly that it was a bunch of withered yellow leaves, cut into thin strips, and the faint, pungent aroma became even more intense.

Without giving Lin Wanrong a chance to examine closely, Ashile quickly covered the pot with its lid, and with a mysterious smile towards Lin Wanrong, took a spark from the torch beside him, ignited a piece of dry grass, and swiftly threw it into the pot. In no time at all, a faint wisp of smoke slowly emerged from the slender mouth of the pot, and a familiar scent rushed forth.

What on earth was this? Lin Wanrong deeply inhaled the fragrance, his face gradually becoming serious.

Seeing the smoke rising, Ashile and Lu Dongzan's faces immediately brightened, their noses eagerly pressed to the mouth of the pot as they deeply inhaled the scent. Then, they both looked up, exhaling a breath, their expressions utterly carefree and transcendent, as if they had become celestial beings.

"Master Lin, come and take a puff," Ashile urged, hastily passing the small pot to him.

Lin Wanrong took the pot, his face as still as water, squeezing the pot tightly, not even feeling the heat burning his hand. Strange things had been happening often that year, and now here was something not even found in the Great Huá. How could it appear in the hands of the Turks?

He inhaled deeply from the pot's mouth, and a fiery, intense sensation choked his nose, causing him to cough twice. Ashile and Lu Dongzan burst into hearty laughter, looking at him with pride, saying, "Master Lin, what do you think?"

Holding the small pot, Lin Wanrong was silent for a moment before asking solemnly, "Ashile, Lu Dongzan, where did this thing come from?!"

Seeing that he was asking about its origin rather than its name, both men were slightly taken aback. Could this mysterious Vice Minister Lin have seen this object before? That would be truly miraculous!

The two exchanged glances, and Lu Dongzan asked, "Master Lin, have you seen this 'Nose-piercing Grass' before?"

"What grass?!" Master Lin exclaimed, eyes wide.

"Nose-piercing Grass!" Lu Dongzan, noticing Master Lin's expression, chuckled and explained, "Oh, you must not have heard of Nose-piercing Grass. This is a term in our Turkic language. Great Huá surely doesn't have this Nose-piercing Grass. It grows south of our lands, near the desert edge bordering Great Hua. It's naturally formed but rare, only producing a few pounds a year. If our warriors or horses are injured or ill, sometimes severely, we blow the smoke of Nose-piercing Grass into their nostrils, and the ailment is cured. Over time, people become addicted and love its scent more and more. Since it's hard to find, our entire nation can only gather two or three pounds a year. It is indeed invaluable. These are war spoils awarded to me by the Khan after defeating the Tiele five years ago, cherished ever since. Master Lin, try it again; I guarantee you'll fall in love with Nose-piercing Grass."

"Nose-piercing Grass, Nose-piercing Grass," Master Lin muttered to himself and then burst into laughter, exclaiming, "Good, good, excellent Nose-piercing Grass. You Turks indeed have rich resources. But remember, from now on, you can only call it Nose-piercing Grass, not tobacco, and definitely not 'smoking tobacco.' Otherwise, I won't let you off."

"Master Lin, what does 'smoking tobacco' mean?" Lu Dongzan asked, puzzled.

"Tobacco is a grass that produces smoke, but it's not as good-sounding as your Nose-piercing Grass," Master Lin chuckled and said, "Brother A, don't you think you're being a bit stingy? This small amount of Nose-piercing Grass will be gone in two or three puffs. Bring more; I want to take some back for my main wife, my concubines, my father-in-law, and my mother-in-law to taste."

Seeing that Master Lin's enthusiasm was even greater than when fondling a woman's thigh, the two men instantly sensed an opportunity. Ashile gritted his teeth, and as he was about to prepare more Nose-piercing Grass, Master Lin reached out and grabbed the small bag. He laughed and said, "Why be so formal? Just give it all to me. I'll find some people to divide it up when I get back."

They had seen shameless people before, but never someone so shameless. It was a wonder that such a person had been appointed as an official. Watching Master Lin stuff the Nose-piercing Grass into his clothing without a second thought, Ashile felt like his heart was bleeding, and his facial muscles twitched a few times. Still, he managed to force a smile and said, "Though this Nose-piercing Grass is invaluable, since you like it, Ashile will gladly present it with both hands. Now, about the matter of borrowing the cannons—"

Lin Wanrong, having received the generous gift, pounded his chest, laughing heartily and said, "No problem. Never mind cannons; I could even get you airplanes. Brother Lu, there is something else I need to ask you."

Seeing Master Lin readily agree, the two were overjoyed, and Lu Dongzan hurriedly said, "Speak your mind, Master Lin. Lu Dongzan will spare no detail."

Lin Wanrong chuckled, "Brother Lu, you are well-learned. You can write, can't you?"

"That goes without saying," Lu Dongzan smiled, "I won't mention the Turkic script, but I can even write quite a bit in the language of the Great Hua."

"Wow, I didn't expect Brother Lu to be so capable, even knowing how to write in the script of my Great Hua!" Master Lin clapped his hands and laughed, "Could you then draw the boundary between our two nations for me? Alas, I've read so many books lately that I've even forgotten where the border is. How embarrassing, how embarrassing!"

What a shameless man! Ashile was so displeased with Master Lin, especially after he had taken the Nose-piercing Grass, it felt like Master Lin had cut off a piece of his flesh.

"That's simple!" Lu Dongzan said, laughing, as he picked up a charred piece of charcoal and began to draw on the tent's carpet.

"Please look, Master Lin. Here is Ulan Ude, here is Irkutsk, and between them is Lake Baikal. This area originally belonged to the Tiele and the Khitan, but after we destroyed those two tribes, this region became ours. To the south, you have the Selenga River, Tsetserleg, which we acquired after defeating the Karluk. Along the Altai Mountains that stretch east and west, all the way to Ust-Kut, is Turkic territory. If we were to talk about a border between our two nations, it is temporarily located here. We call it Barkul, and you call it Yiwu," Lu Dongzan, indeed the Turkic National Scholar, skillfully sketched the regions of the Turkic and Great Hua territory on the map in just a few short minutes.

Lin Wanrong listened with bewilderment, shaking his head and saying, "What names, such as 'lecherous wolf,' 'cart,' and 'pants'! Excellent choices. Brother Lu, your Turkic people are truly cultured."

[TL: Selange sounded similar to sèláng meaning lecherous wolf; Irkutsk or yī ěr kù cì kè sounded similar to chē gé meaning cart; From the word Kut in Ust-Kut or wū sī jì kù tè, similar to Kùzi meaning pants.]

Lu Dongzan nodded and laughed, "Naturally. Our Turkic lands span both the desert and grassland extremes, home to various nomadic tribes. The Tiele and the Khitan alone were once mightier than us. How could we Turkics have conquered such a vast area and made these nations submit if we didn't have real skills?"

‘Submit? Submit, my foot! Who are you trying to fool? The issue of ethnic minorities is the most troublesome. If they rebel, you'll suffer.’ Master Lin nodded in approval and said, "Impressive, truly impressive. Brother Lu, is this the Mountain of Gold you're talking about?"

[TL: Altai Mountain is Jin Shan in Chinese, meaning Gold Mountain.]

"It's not the Mountain of Gold, but the Gold Mountain," Lu Dongzan corrected.

"Brother Lu, you're so knowledgeable. If I remember correctly, this Gold Mountain belongs to my Great Hua, doesn't it?" Master Lin chuckled mischievously. ‘How dare this hawk-nosed man bluff me? I've sung "On Beijing's Gold Mountain" since I was a child. When did it become the Turkics' turn to claim Gold Mountain?’

Lu Dongzan saw Master Lin's complete confusion about the geographical positions of Great Hua and the Turks. Initially, he scorned Master Lin, thinking him ignorant. But hearing him claim Gold Mountain as part of Great Hua, he couldn't help but feel a chill. The Turks had battled with Great Hua for years, mostly contending over the Gold Mountain range, until the Turks recently overpowered other northern forces and broke through Gold Mountain, invading Yiwu and Ejina. This young man's mention of Gold Mountain belonging to Great Hua suggested he wasn't entirely clueless.

[In modern time, Yiwu is a county in northern Xinjiang, bordering directly with Mongolia, while Ejina or Ejin is a banner in the far west of Inner Mongolia, also directly bordering with Mongolia.]

"Well, disputes between countries, each having its own claims, are common," said Lu Dongzan.

"Each having its own claims?!" Master Lin smirked, "Oh, right, Brother Lu, where does that spicy nose-grass of yours grow?"

"Between Khovd and Altai, right here!" Lu Dongzan pointed at the map, curiously asking, "Master Lin, why do you ask?"

"Oh, nothing much. Perhaps one day, I might visit Khovd and 'have dealings' with you there," Master Lin said with a mischievous grin.

"Welcome, welcome, welcome Master Lin to our Khovd as a guest," Ashile said through gritted teeth, smiling, "Master Lin, what about the matter of the cannon?"

"That? Leave it to me. I'll notify you once it's ready. Li Sheng and the others are developing it, so it will take some time—" Master Lin mumbled to himself.

"Master Lin, what development?" Ashile asked, confused.

"Oh, I mean, we'll get the latest cannons for you so that you can enjoy your hunting. Just make sure not to aim them at our palace," Master Lin said with a forced smile, his words startling the two Turkic emissaries.

Ashile and Lu Dongzan both had a strange feeling about Master Lin. Upon entering the Turkic camp, he acted as if he were at home, completely at ease. He ate what was to be eaten, touched what was to be touched, and took what was to be taken without the slightest courtesy. He seemed to take all the advantages, but regarding the promises he had made, neither of them could pin him down. Who was playing whom? The two were left thoroughly perplexed.

As the sun set in the west, Lin Wanrong, letting out a satisfied belch, touched the chest of a charming Turkic woman and then, grasping Ashile's cherished "spicy nose-grass," galloped away on his horse.

"Shameless! Disgraceful! Filthy rabbit droppings!" Watching Master Lin's dashing figure, Ashile could no longer contain his rage. With a swoosh, he drew his saber and roared, "Lu Dongzan, I wish to cut him down with one stroke!"

Lu Dongzan replied solemnly, "Ashile, don't be impulsive. The woman you offered him, he did not take her, did he?"

Ashile snorted, "He didn't take her, true, but he kissed and touched her, taking every advantage! These are the concubines of my tent!"

"This man is no simpleton! Ashile, I hope we haven't misjudged him!" Lu Dongzan said quietly.

"Simpleton, my foot! If we ever meet on the battlefield, I will behead him first," Ashile grumbled, then asked, "Lu Dongzan, should we continue to engage with the other side?"

"Yes! And we must hurry! We must be quick!" Watching Master Lin's retreating figure, Lu Dongzan sighed softly, "I have an ominous premonition that this Lin San will be a great trouble for us!"

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