Fighting to be Kind in a Cultivation World

[Warning: This chapter contains disturbing content]

Sister Nuan’s eyes turn to me with a level of seriousness.

I already know she’s planning on telling me something that I really don’t want to hear.

“James… I know how you feel about some situations. You can already guess this is going to be pretty terrible. Consider your position and these families.”

She looks away at my souring look.

There's undoubtedly something she knows of that she's not telling me. Something that would…

She gives a breath out before continuing.

“Of course, if you want, I can still crush them for you. It will just make things tougher for later, when we want to do so to an actual threat.”

Oh.

Something I’ve been trying to grow in.

With that in mind, I try my hand at reassuring her.

“You don’t have to worry, Sister Nuan. I’ll keep my word. I know this will be terrible, but I’m hoping this senior will be a positive change in his family.”

Her face turns dark as she spits out.

“There’s little chance of that. You will understand when you see it, but nonetheless, we need to acknowledge his actions publicly. As coming from his position, normally they would cover up what they are going to show you up.

“It was likely only my lingering spiritual sense that prevented such a thing.”

The venom in her voice is palpable. With a slight shake of the sword qi in the area. Something that only happened when she was angry at that other elder in the sect, when I brought in my new recruits.

What the hell is over there, then? And do I even want to see with my scan?

If I use the scan, I will certainly know in detail.

… I’ll have to do that anyway when I heal them later. I might as well get it out of the way.

I’ve decided.

“Okay, I’ll check it out now, then.”

She raises a hand before lowering it.

“… stay inside the barrier while you do, alright?”  

Her voice is soft, contrasting with her vague warning. Terrifying in its kindness.

I sneak a look outside and notice a small fleet of carriages waiting outside the hospital. Long Chao anxiously stands outside of them, purposely shooing away others who come to make conversation.

Considering that Sister Nuan seems confident that he’s lived up to his promise to bring them all, means that there should be at least 300 people in these. But the normal size of a carriage should hold around 6 people, inferring that there should be around 50 carriages. In contrast, there are approximately 150 of them.

Not a small sum, even for a wealthy elder of a merchant family. But the Long family is a cultivator one, raising its spending power much higher.

What causes me grave concern, though, is the overwhelming amount of talismans that were placed onto each of the carriages. Meant to obscure and hide what’s within.

Now that is worth a few big gold coins, or a relatively equal amount of superior spirit stones for cultivator currency.

The real question is, why was this much spent and evidently done in a rushed way, for something like this?

There’s only one answer.

It must be just that bad.

I calming my growing apprehension, before taking a few deep breaths in and out. Then I look inside.

…

…

…

…what is that?

What am I looking at?

Where are the people? There are just leathery sacks of beef here.

I feel a cool rush of healing wipe over me, like when I looked over the demonic works and cultivation.

My scan has been telling me the truth the whole time. I just didn’t want to believe it. And let myself fall into denial and madness, with my mind hallucinating to compensate.

On par with what I’ve seen from the demon cultivator that tried to take over my body.

These people have no skin or limbs. Some parts are missing beyond even that, including their torso and heads.

 Excavated orifices. New holes. Old holes that were sealed, re-healed, and changed. Holes of all kinds.

This just one carriage. Others are spliced together, split apart, and kept alive with cultivation techniques and materials used for the wrong purposes.

And several other situations and configurations.

They all share a common theme.

No eyes, lips, or skin. No defining features remaining that identify them as humanoid.

Just meat sacks. With holes.

…

The gaping eye sockets that I can identify stick with me.

So, I just sit there.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Breathe in.

All the while, using my healing abilities on myself to calm my growing sickness and rage.

I thought it would mostly be nausea, if I ever saw something like this. However, now that I have all the mental illness and other aspects thrown away… I just want to destroy the person who did this.

But I wait further.

I mull. I reflect.

I was raised to be a kind and forgiving person. To watch how I react to situations and consider how it affects those around me.

To understand that it’s not wrong to feel angry, it’s what you do with it.

So, I take everything I’ve just seen and do my very best to take an unbiased view of the situation. Coming to the only conclusion I can of the right action here. 

This motherfucker is going to die.

I look up at Sister Nuan, who’s already seen this and warned me of its brutality.

“Nuan… can you give me an hour alone? I need to… I want to think and try to come up with how I want to handle this.”

I hear the slightest tremble in my voice sneak through. The look on her face tells me she figured out that I used my scan to see them. And from what I’ve told her about it, it can either be a high cost or low cost, based on information and time.

What I’m asking for is time.

She nods before going to the door. Just before leaving out, she stops and turns back.

“If you want to talk about it for a bit, we can…”

I’m already shaking my head in refusal.

I don’t want to burden her with all of this. She’ll naturally want to do something about this when I tell her what I feel.

However, I stop as I see her shoulders drop ever so slightly.

A sign of resignation. Maybe sadness.

I’m pushing her away. Right when I had just committed to bringing her closer. To relying on her more.

Not only that, but what about her? She’s seen this too. Even as cultivators, they have feelings too.

And this is still far out of the norm, even for this world. We both could be traumatized by this.

“… Actually, I want to be with you during this time. If possible. We can talk about it, while I think. But having you there would help. “

Just as she was about to walk through the door, she instantaneously turned around to walk rapidly toward me and sit next to me. Clutching my hands desperately. Her lips are tight with tension and stress.

yeah.

 We’re both suffering here.

I move my hands out of hers and just move to her side, holding her close to me. A bit surprised at first, she leans in and does the same to me. 

It’s only a side hug, but enough for both of us.

It’s quiet for a while, as we get used to each other’s presence. This closeness between us.

I speak first.

“How can anyone do this? Could someone like that even be considered a person?”

The question is in the open air. Neither of us have an answer to that.

The silence falls over us both. I feel her arm hold a little tighter, but nothing else comes to show she acknowledges my words. I use the time to plan my courses of action.

Minutes later, I hear her voice come out, so muted and fragile that if I wasn't enhanced, I wouldn't be able to hear it.

“Even the demonic cultivators have a reason to do things like that. But why would they?”

Like my question, it's not something to answer at this moment.

With that, the rest of the hour is silent.

I continue to work through several batches of information while we both take refuge in each other’s company. Reminding me of the times I’ve sat in the cave, with Ai and Lin on the bed. Making it through, day by day, finding comfort in the closeness.

Just before I finish my calculations, she speaks again. Louder and confidently than before.

“He’s going to die.

“Let me handle it.”

…

…

… that’s not the best plan.

But it’s also not a bad one.

It’s time to put into practice my principles and commitment to this relationship.

Using a soft voice, I offer a thought.

“Do you want to know some things that you’ll need to know that might help?”

She nods and leans her head against my shoulder. The confidence and strength in her actions only marginally contrasting the dependent one she's done.

She doesn’t actually need the information, though.

Of course, it‘d help. Not much, however. I’d bet that’s something already considered by her. 

She doesn’t need me. But she wants me in her life and involved.

I can live with that.

Almost together, we stand up.

We end up spending the next 10 minutes communicating plans with each other. All before we step out of the barrier, open the door, and head downstairs.

Towards the entranceway.

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