Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Chapter 503: Flying Skates

Translator: imperfectluck Editor: Kurisu

The Cliff heavy infantry squadron was the undefeated shield of the Sala Dukedom. They were also the ace heavy infantry squadron of the Dukedom that had the additional title of being “royal” troops.

These golden armored heavy infantry squadron members were all extraordinarily tall men who were more than two meters tall. Many of these humans had barbarian or beastmen bloodlines. They had undergone training to become skilled in using heavy axes, long spears, and tower shields in combination. They were especially skilled at fighting in formation to defeat many as few.

And, a few years ago, the Sala Dukedom underwent a military reform. The royal alchemist successfully melded the two weapons and shield together, creating a new powerful military equipment called the Thunderaxe Shield, which was known to be a terror on the battlefield.

Yep, this was yet another product of magical engineering. Since there was currently a technological revolution, nobody would let themselves be left behind. Even a certain incredibly corrupt Chinese dynasty had spent a great deal of money on building a modern fleet of warships.

Due to the changing times, the Sala Dukedom royalty grit their teeth and opened up their treasury. The royal Cliff heavy infantry squadron became the first beneficiary.

To assess their power level, the Cliff heavy infantry squadron was likely at an average of high-level Silver. Although overall power levels had increased in this new generation, this was still an above-average power level for ordinary humans.

With such a group of burly men blockading the mountains and patrolling the area, it was unlikely that any bandits would be able to pass. Forcefully trying to break through would be the equivalent of declaring war against the entire Dukedom. Anyone who tried to do so would have wanted posters put up everywhere. No wonder all the adventurers were stuck here, having a headache about what to do.

But, as for me, it was actually quite easy to break through this so-called blockade.

The Cliff heavy infantry squadron was quite numerous, and had an alright power level for locking up the ground. However, I could simply pass by in the sky.

For ordinary smaller countries, aerial knights would be highly expensive and impractical. A single aerial knight’s upkeep would be more than sufficient to maintain an entire ground-based squadron. Not to mention, all sorts of young magical flying beasts and eggs would forever be priceless black market commodities that were commonly out of stock. Still, after the dawn of the new generation, aerial knights became easier to access.

Rather than using flying magical beasts that had astonishing appetites, magical engineering was now capable of creating floating battleships and planes. Of course, this wasn’t cheap, either, but they were at least more obtainable.

And once other countries started having aerial knight squadrons, the remaining countries were also forced to spend money on aerial knights no matter how much they didn’t want to. From a certain standpoint, this was the arms race happening yet again in another world.

Of course, certain sly merchants wouldn’t let go of such an excellent opportunity. Due to a certain unreliable individual joining in the weapons merchants party, certain products that were impossible to comment on entered the marketplace as well.

“The cheapest single-unit flying equipment, no extra equipment needed. It’s as comfortable as normal clothing, portable and light, and uses very little energy. What are you hesitating for? Hurry and buy the Pigeon #2!”

Don’t be fooled by the advertisement... although it indeed wasn’t lying. It was indeed as comfortable as clothing you wore as it was a type of wearable clothing—the Ironspitter Underpants.

Its workings were similar to jet packs, and it was just as convenient to manipulate as a jet pack, used very little energy, and was absolutely perfect... not!

The high temperature from the air it blasted would make your lower body feel as comfortable as in a volcano. And even if you tolerated this, and the Pigeon #4 took care of the heat problem, it was quite a wondrous sight to behold the image of colorful flames and smoke being emitted from someone’s butt as they flew up into the air. It was said that although some were fooled by the advertisement and tried this product out, the warriors on the frontlines all refused to use this product anymore after just one test run.

Of course, such a product was an anomaly among anomalies. It was merely an experimental product that hadn’t even been mass-produced. However, any weapons merchant would always toss out prototypes and experimental products into the market just to recoup some funds. Plus, they would be able to obtain actual combat experimental data—a wonderful deal.

Alright then, after such an explanation, you’ve probably figured out what was happening.

In Year 5 of the new FT generation, which was two years ago, the Sala Dukedom sent out an envoy to purchase flying equipment after they learned that the neighboring countries had all purchased large amounts of jet packs. But, unfortunately for the Dukedom, their envoy hadn’t heard of the joke “flying underpants” product, and made his purchasing decision based on only the advertisement and product explanation.

Luckily for the envoy, the flying underpants had already been proven to be an absolute mistake, and was no longer being produced and sold. But, unfortunately for the envoy, he was still scammed by a new advertisement, and didn’t choose to purchase the ever more efficient jet pack propulsion systems. Instead, he purchased the newest version of flying underpants—flying skates.

Alright then, it might have seemed cool to fly in the air on fire-spitting skates. However, the prerequisite was that the skates could be controlled. It was proven later on that flying skates were even more foolish of an idea than flying underpants. At the very least, it was still possible to control the underpants with your hands. As for shoes... first of all, how would you even lower yourself to touch your shoes to change your flying angle in midair? And if you really did bend over to touch your shoes, the change in your center of gravity would cause you to enjoy a hellish rollercoaster of backflips in midair.

This might seem hilarious to behold, but for the warriors themselves, it was no laughing matter, especially after some youngsters flipped so much that they crashed into the ground.

Still, this wasn’t because the designer (me) was too stupid. After all, in my original world, flying tanks, bombs placed in dogs, balloon bombs, airship bombers, and other such ridiculous and powerful weapons had all been invented. These weapons were also equally effective at friendly fire. Sometimes, the thought behind the design was accurate, but as long as there were any issues with modern technology or controls, even the best design would become the most foolish of designs.

This was made all the worse because the world of Eich didn’t have an understanding of the sciences of aerodynamics or fluid mechanics. Designing a flying machine was basically like trying to win the lottery. After a series of rather ridiculous products, only my most basic blueprint of a jetpack proved to be the most practical design. After all, jetpacks had already been proven to be effective in my original world.

The successful weapons merchants would always buy and sell the most classical weapons that had proven themselves in battle already rather than the coolest looking and cheapest new weapons. Obviously, it would be foolish to purchase such a newly developed product for your needs. However, the market was such that there would always be suckers forced to learn from their mistakes. And since the weapons market was so chaotic with countless new inventions right now, there would always be people making mistakes with their money.

It was said that the envoy who purchased these flying skates was actually a member of the Sala Dukedom royalty. How could the Dukedom possibly let these skates be placed into the warehouse to rust? Wouldn’t that be a symbol of the royalty’s foolishness? The end result was that these flying skates were forced upon the Dukedom’s strongest troops, the Cliff heavy infantry squadron.

And not only that, the Cliff heavy infantry squadron actually managed to use these flying skates. People were always coming up with ideas. It was just that the posture required to use the flying skates seemed rather ridiculous.

It was impossible to control the flying skates with your hands? Simply use a long pole or thread to control the skates from a distance.

Alright then, the Cliff squadron members were indeed capable of flying now, and were even able to control their direction after a long period of training. However, they would have to hold two long poles or threads while flying to control their direction, and they were completely unable to wield any weapons while doing so. While flying, they would only be able to scout, and couldn’t participate in combat at all.

By the way, although this method of flying looked quite foolish, this control method actually started spreading. Many other unfortunate individuals who also purchased flying skates started using the same method to control themselves while flying. Well, it was one way to use a mostly useless product.

And, to my knowledge, the only flyers in the Sala Dukedom were the goblins’ delivery companies and these flying-skate-equipped Cliff squadron members. I didn’t even need to summon a bone dragon. Just the gargoyles carrying me would be unblockable.

“Is that why those Death Council members went looking for a dragon corpse? They need a large bone dragon that can fly across the mountains?”

Every type of flying mount would have their restrictions. Flying required up to ten times or even a hundred times the energy consumption of walking on the ground. This was a natural result of the gravity in this world. That was why flying magical beasts required such a supremely high amount of calories. Flying magical engineering products also needed constant energy replenishment. And, even an undead flying creature wouldn’t be able to fly endlessly.

Normal gargoyles wouldn’t be able to fly very high; if they flew for too long, it would damage their body, and they would also require additional mana to replenish their soul cores. This limited how far a gargoyle could fly. Normal flying magical beasts would need to constantly eat meat to be able to fly far. Only a Legend-ranked undead like a bone dragon would be able to fly through the mountains without any need to stop.

Bone dragons weren’t that easy to summon. Every bone dragon represented the death of a dragon, and of course there wouldn’t be any bone dragon without a dragon’s corpse. And, it wouldn’t be that convenient to travel in any human country with a bone dragon.

Many scattered pieces of information seemed to all connect. My objective was quite obvious now as well. I could somewhat tolerate anyone else entering the mountains, but I absolutely wouldn’t allow the Death Council to get their hands on those ruins. The moment the Death Council entered those ruins and successfully opened a Dimensional Door, that would be the same as starting another Undead Calamity-level war here.

While the Sala Dukedom was blockading all the adventurers from entering the mountains, many adventurers were secretly beginning to team up. And since I came here so publicly with the status of a Legend-ranked undead mage, I also received an invitation to join a discussion regarding how to break through the blockade. It would seem that many people were about to make their move.

Just as I was about to go join this meaning, I was astonished to hear an unexpected piece of news.

“Timlad has come here?”

Timlad arrived in quite an outlandish fashion, streaking through the sky on his extra-small assault aircraft and directly landing near my camp.

Soon, he used all his gadgets to locate me.

I felt rather complex inside to see his familiar yet unfamiliar appearance.

When I saw him last before the creation of Hell, little Timlad had only been a bit over nine years old. Seven years had passed since then, so he should be sixteen or seventeen years old now. The snot-nosed little kid in my memory had become a strapping young man, but...

“Forget about being taller than me since you’re in your growth period, but just why are you wearing only underpants while showing off so many muscles!? Did you join the Wild Bull Alliance as well? Did that evil cult spread so much already!?”

My angry roar was filled with panic. The shota who was a siscon in my memory had transformed into a muscular dude. This change caused me to recall a few certain bastards, making me even more uneasy. Could it be that Xueti and Eaglestorm actually succeeded in spreading their way of living? Could it be that the entire Northlands and Mist Alliance leaders had become such strange creatures?

“This?”

Timlad’s thick and raspy voice was evidently still changing. He even had a small mustache that he intentionally styled. He had a toolbox belt attached to his white underpants, and was touching his own well-developed muscles while laughing in a foolish manner.

“Brother Roland, don’t overthink things. I’m still quite normal. It’s just that I’ve been playing with machines every day, and lifting heavy machines on a daily basis. It’s only natural that I became muscular. As for my clothes... with so many machines, the temperature will rise, and it’s quite uncomfortable to sweat so much while working. It’s more comfortable to take off my clothes. I immediately came over when I received your letter, and didn’t even have time to put on some clothes...”

I immediately heaved a sigh of relief, but the next instant, I became nervous again when Timlad continued talking.

“...So, you see, since I’m so muscular already, I used the correct methods of scientific training to create a perfect muscular body with the golden ratio. Last year, I received second place in the bodybuilding contest. Plus, with my educational background as an engineer, I’m really popular with girls now!”

Timlad puffed up his chest and showed me his shiny muscles with a series of standard exercise routines. What was with him entering a bodybuilding contest? It would seem that Omar’s bastards were still ruining the youths of the Mist Alliance.

“The moment that I return, I’m going to cook all those bastards in simmering oil...”

But, I shook my head and tossed all that to the back of my mind. Perhaps the great change in Timlad was actually a good thing.

“Little guy, put on some clothes and get ready to go out. I bet that nobody would think that you’re the famous genius engineer now. Come, accompany me to a certain meeting. Let us go meet the leaders of the adventurers here.”

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