Dungeon Defense (WN)

Ο * * * Ο

“Marvelous. The two of you did quite a wonderful job. Even I am in awe.”

I offered my praise to a crystal ball. I was currently on my stomach receiving a massage.

– …….

The individual reflected in the crystal ball was Saintess Longwy. Though my posture might have seemed disrespectful for speaking to a holy figure, this was not an official meeting. Moreover, both sides were in the same relaxed pose. The Saintess was also lying down, receiving a back massage.

“Oh dear, you seem rather displeased. Is Brittany’s territory expansion not reason enough to be happy?”

– I nearly died because of you!

The Saintess suddenly screeched. Her voice was so high-pitched that I thought my ears would burst. More importantly, she almost died because of me? I have no idea what she’s talking about. As I tilted my head in confusion, Saintess Longwy continued on like a rampaging monkey.

– That expression! That face that looks as if you genuinely don’t understand is annoying!

“I don’t know what you are talking about. Your fame has risen once more and the people have voluntarily offered you their land. Brittany has achieved a bloodless victory over Piedmont. Your side has lost absolutely nothing. To be honest, I believe you should be thanking me.”

– I received lashings! Do you know how painful that is!?

I see. That’s what she’s throwing a tantrum about.

Once I showed a look of realization, Saintess Longwy complained to me more vigorously.

– I was unconscious the entire time I was being whipped! Dear Lord. How could you order a woman such as myself to receive lashings……. I cannot believe you!

How noisy. Why was she complaining about a mere twenty lashes?

I was whipped a whole seventy times, you know? Yet, with just a few lashes, they managed to expand their territory. And I wager they spared no expense on healing potions, so I doubt that there’s even a scar on their backs. If you consider all this, what’s there to complain about?

I spoke in a nonchalant tone.

“Yes, yes. I deeply apologize for harming the noble and sacred skin of the esteemed Owl Saintess. I, Dantalian, express my deepest regret.”

– I will definitely kill you one day!

“Wow. How terrifying. I do not think I will be able to sleep well at night because of your looming threat.”

– Grrrrrr!

Lately, it feels like there’s been a sudden increase in individuals wanting to kill me. Is it just my imagination or are they all women as well? Well, I’d rather die at the hands of a beauty if possible. I wouldn’t want to be killed by some cunning, scheming man. I just get the feeling that if I were to die at the hands of a pretty woman, that would double my chances of going to heaven.

But enough joking around. I changed my tone.

“It is about time for the momentum of the southern nobles to crack. Civil war has not swept through the southern region of Frankia. Thanks to this, the citizens have wealthy lives. However, this rebound is not immune to war. In other words, it is a double-edged sword.”

– ……As long as they stay sane in mind, they won’t stand against Brittany. Is this what you are trying to say?

I nodded.

Though circumstances might shift should they manage to enlist a sizable force of mercenaries from elsewhere, that ship has sailed. The Brittany Army would gleefully plunder their lands while they scrambled to muster mercenaries. It’d be impossible for weak civilian militias to stand against Brittany’s assault. The southern nobles were firmly backed into a corner.

“The southern nobles will undoubtedly yield to Frankia’s new government. They will be able to bring an end to this war if they give up on autonomy and lower their heads to Frankia, after all.”

Under the treaty, Brittany is prohibited from invading Frankia. Hence, if the southern nobles align themselves with Frankia once more, the Brittany army would be obligated to withdraw promptly.

“If that happens, the southern nobles will become indebted to Frankia. This is the important part. Ugh.”

I raised my upper body, prompting Daisy to stop massaging me and back away. Once I held out my right hand, Daisy silently took out my pipe and handed it to me. Yup, the first puff after receiving a massage is always exquisite.

– Ah.

“Do you grasp the implication here? Their roles are about to reverse. If the southern nobles had submitted to the central government from the outset, Earl Bercy would have owed them a debt, acknowledging their willingness to accept the new government despite having the option to pursue autonomy. However, the situation has now shifted entirely.”

– ……Hey, uhm.

“Attorney General Bercy’s authority is likely to strengthen further. The nobles will diminish in influence while the central bureaucracy gains greater prominence. Frankia is poised to become a considerably more stable nation.”

– W-Wait one moment, Count Palatine.

For some reason, the projection displayed in the crystal ball showed Saintess Longwy with a red face. She was averting her gaze while peaking glances my way.

– Put some clothes on. How could you be so shameless in front of another woman?

I was naturally top and bottomless since I had been receiving a massage. I only had a flimsy piece of cloth wrapped around my waist. It seems that the sight of a man’s bare skin was embarrassing for the saintess, who had been raised with strict propriety.

“What? You aren’t some girl in her puberty. What is there to be shy about between two people who have already rotted?”

– You may have rotted, but I haven’t.

Saintess Longwy avoided my gaze. The usual sharpness in her voice was also gone. I was instinctively able to tell what this response meant. It was like a bolt of lightning had struck my head. I opened my mouth.

“Do not tell me…….”

Did she get a foreboding feeling because of my tone? Saintess Longwy stammered.

– W-What is it?

“Do not tell me, Saintess. Are you still a virgin despite your age?

– That is not something you should ask a lady!

Saintess Longwy let out another shriek. I was now convinced. Her unfocused gaze, cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and the tone of her voice that was unable to conceal her humiliation—all these circumstantial clues were ample evidence to confirm the saintess’ virginity.

I was in disbelief.

“Dear me. Have you truly never dated a single man throughout your thirty years of life? Are you serious? Do you perhaps have some sort of severe personality flaw? I cannot even fathom what you could have been doing with your life despite having such looks…….”

– Even if, by some absolutely rare chance, I were to protect my chastity for the rest of my life, that would not damage my character!

Saintess Longwy roared like a female lion.

– I may not understand impudent rogues like you who follow the whims of your lower body, but maintaining one’s chastity is a noble virtue! Do not look at me as if I am less virtuous than you! You’re the unclean one!

“How pitiful……. Are you telling me that you have lived thirty whole years not knowing the joys of life because of that anachronic prejudice……? All that is left for you is to grow old, yet you have already wasted your most savory years…….”

– I told you to stop giving me such a pitying gaze! O Athena! Why must I receive such a gaze from a piece of trash like you!?”

I’m sorry, but my sympathy is genuine. Is this not a pure natural monument? Come to think of it, this is my first time meeting a maiden. Daisy is also one, but she’s only 15 years old, so you can’t compare her to the saintess.

I strangely felt bad.

“If you insist that is the case, then I do not know what else to say. I apologize for bringing up such an uncomfortable topic for you…….”

– Don’t apologize! It feels like I’m the one in the wrong if you apologize!

“I see. I apologize. No, I apologize for apologizing. It appears that I was thoughtless. But I must admit, I’m genuinely surprised. A true maiden… I had completely forgotten they still existed in the world.”

– I swear, I’m going to kill you!

Saintess Longwy cried out, but it only sounded like a pained wail to me.

Later, while consulting with Queen Henrietta about the rebellion, I subtly hinted, “Could you introduce the Saintess to a decent man?” Henrietta narrowed her eyes with a troubled expression.

– Even if you say that, I have already set her up on dozens of dates. But she has turned every one of them down.

“Goodness. How high are her standards?”

– Since she was twelve, she claimed that she would not settle for anyone less than a prince on a white horse. A pure and kind man who only has eyes for her.

“…….”

– …….

“Let’s settle this by handing a third of Piedmont over to the Frankish central government. Attorney General Bercy will most likely come to negotiate in person, so I ask for your cooperation.”

“Understood. I accept those terms.”

We silently agreed not to discuss this topic further. However, the empathy in our eyes never disappeared. From then on, whenever Saintess Longwy got unnecessarily upset, I was a lot more considerate. The hysteria of an old maiden is an incurable illness, so it would only be right to be forgiving.

Ο * * * Ο

In the latter half of the first month of 1513, the southern nobles bowed their heads to the Frankish central government.

Although the nobles were allowed a considerable amount of autonomy by Attorney General Bercy, they were now further from their original aspiration for full independence. They were no longer allowed to mobilize military forces or engage in diplomatic treaties with other countries without the central government’s permission.

At the same time, the Brittany army withdrew, adhering to the Le Havre Treaty, which stipulated that ‘Frankia and Brittany will not invade each other’.

Furthermore, part of the Piedmont region, which surrendered to Brittany, was transferred to the Frankish central government. Despite the resistance from the Sardinians, who were reluctant since they had put considerable effort into making their rebellion successful, our Habsburg Empire played a significant role here. As a concession to the Sardinians for taking a step back from Frankia, we liberated all the slaves from Piedmont.

Thus, everyone involved in the rebellion found a happy ending.

The Sardinians demonstrated that they were not submissive.

Brittany acquired a considerable amount of territory almost for free.

Attorney General Bercy subdued the southern nobles with little effort.

While it was true that the nobles suffered setbacks, small sacrifices were always necessary. I just hope that they don’t feel like this was too unjust. After all, it was their excessive greed that caused this.

As a result of this rebellion, Frankia officially came to be known as the “Frankish Regency Empire”.

Receiving power from the imperial family, the regent replaced the Emperor in governing the state. This regent was elected by a vote from all city councils and noble families in Frankia. In other words, it was a noble republic ensuring the participation of the urban populace.

Regardless of their titles—whether they be dukes, earls, barons, or any other rank—each noble had an equal vote. They were promised equality. Although the common people couldn’t exercise their rights, at least the city councils were allowed to participate in the voting. Though somewhat limited, it was still a republic.

Regent is a lifelong position. A new regent is only elected after the current one has died. Attorney General Bercy will most likely live a long life ruling over Frankia.

“…….”

I decided to visit the Habsburg imperial palace for the first time in a while.

In the depths of the imperial palace lay Paimon, enshrined within a coffin made of transparent crystals. Silent and still, she slept, her body preserved from decay through a magical process. I spent half a day there before quietly taking my leave…….

***

TL Note: Thanks for reading the chapter. Welp, contrary to the last chapter where I said I didn’t have much to say but actually ended up ranting, I genuinely don’t have much to say. Just sort of translating at a chilled pace as I cool my head off. I know people don’t like seeing me apologize every chapter, so yeah. I’ll try to pick up the pace once work has also become less hectic.

I’ll see you guys in the next chapter.

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