Chapter 175
She was still being careful of the sound of her own steps when walking around the room. Even Lili and Pillen, who were attending her, had given much attention.
Under everyone’s protection, Molitia began to move slowly in bed. Her hands wriggled to create something.
“What are you doing?”
“Oh, Raven.”
It was a face that he could finally see after a week. However, Molitia was smiling gently just like he had seen yesterday.
“Look at this.”
There was a small ball of thread at the end of her fingertips.
“What’s this?”
“What do you think?”
It looked too small to be called a finished product. Raven’s eyes fell upon that unknown thread.
“…is it a thimble?”
“Ding, that’s wrong.”
“Then, you’re making gloves?”
“It’s actually a finished product.”
As she grumbled at Raven, who didn’t really know much, she looked down. The small shape in her hands was clumsy now that she looked at it.
“These are socks that the child will wear once he’s born. It’s utterly small, right?”
She looked straight with her own hands and drew a small smile.
“If you grow up just like this, you’ll be born by summer—when all things are fresh on a sunny, lovely day.”
“…Molitia.”
Raven’s face instantly hardened at her words. Her words made him realize that there was already a crack on the ice and he could do nothing to turn it back.
“Raven, I’m… looking back, I didn’t really have such a good life. My parents gave up because of my persistent illness and the people around me simply ignored me. Only because I couldn’t do anything, I was despised by the ones who shared the same flesh and blood.”
“I know.”
She could still recollect about Raven. The first day when Molitia expressed her feelings to him. How could he ever forget such a day?
“Every time I was out of breath with fever, I missed the warmth very much. The warmth that would hold me close and soothe me, instead of the heat that flows as if it could burst through my veins.”
She placed the socks on the blanket. Molitia then slowly lifted her head and gazed at him.
“Raven.”
The voice that rippled was very soft. Raven’s eyes slightly quivered in response.
“I wish to raise this child with love. I want to tell them how beautiful this world is and how beautiful everything is. I want to see how beautiful this child will grow up as we let them know that there’s someone who loves them so.”
“There’s always another chance.”
His voice trembled slightly. His eyes seemed to look somewhat red as well.
“No, this may be our last chance. I don’t think this child came to us by accident.”
“We’re just getting started. We can always try for a child again as much as you want.”
His voice, which was still speaking calmly, eventually grew impatient.
“When you’re no longer sick, we can have another baby then.”
Why couldn’t she see those obvious things? No, looking back, there was no way she couldn’t have not known. Wasn’t it her own body and more so, it wasn’t anyone else’s.
Anxiety was eating him up inside. A noticeable sense of unease took him by the hand.
“So now, you just have to think only about your own body.”
“Raven…”
His hands, which had always been warmer than hers, were unusually cold. Molitia burst into tears when she saw him holding back his agitation.
She didn’t know why. But it was just pitiful.
She felt sorry for him. And sorry for herself as well. Moreover, she felt sorry for the child that was in the same boat. She also felt sorry for the situation where she had to even argue with him.
“I know better than anyone else that I’m weak. So, this might be the last chance.”
Molitia’s hand slowly wrapped around her belly. The stomach, which had been stroked hundreds of times more in the past week, still felt comfortable.
Yet it was lovely. She was already in love with the child as soon as she knew about its existence.
“Raven, please.”
Tears that filled her eyes slowly trickled down her cheeks.
“Let me give birth to this child.”
Raven was heartbroken when he saw that his wife had already burst into tears. The pain in his chest rang so bad that he only wanted to get rid of it.
“Molitia.”
A small tremor swept around her eyes. As his fingertips got wet, he could no longer control his emotional feelings.
“Don’t cry. I don’t know what to do when you cry.”
It seemed that the pain of having raw flesh being cut wouldn’t even be this terrible. He would rather have a clear answer to ‘win’ like during the war.
“Molitia, I was so happy to know that you were already with a child. My heart beats contentedly when I think of a child who will resemble you.”
Who wouldn’t be curious about their own child? It was absolutely the same with Raven. The person you love and a child of your own. They were breathtakingly lovely and sweet sounding words.
But there was something much more important to him. His one and only greed.
“But I haven’t been sleeping properly ever since that day. What if something goes wrong while giving birth? What if things go wrong with the child? If I ever lose you—”
He stood up eerily as he said so. His back was all sweaty.
“All kinds of delusions and agonies kept bothering me. I don’t want to think about it, but I still keep thinking and I keep on scaring my own mind?”
“Raven…”
“I don’t even dare to imagine how I would face tomorrow in that long anguish.”
An inconceivable future was just beyond imagination. As he thought of his own wife who’d be living in such an uncertain tomorrow, Molitia amazingly appeared bold.
He could no longer think of a tomorrow without her. No matter how much he thought about it, it was only reminiscent of pitch-black darkness. He didn’t want to break up. He didn’t want to go back to a life without her.
He, who always seemed to be strong, was shaken by Molitia. The face of a man, who was still powerful even if he was stabbed, had collapsed horribly.
Molitia slowly embraced Raven, who didn’t shed a single tear. She then held his broad shoulders and cried instead.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t want to give it up. If I let this child go, I will absolutely regret it for the rest of my life.”
Raven closed his eyes tightly as he tried hard to hold onto her.
“Okay. Then, let’s do as you say.”
“…Raven.”
The surprised voice immediately shook with tears.
“Can I really give birth? You’re not going to give up on this child then, are you…?”
“But there’s one condition.”
“A condition?”
“Live unconditionally, Molitia.”
Raven’s eyes were straight at her.
“Live and watch the child grow up—with me.”
“…Raven.”
“If you die giving birth to the child, I will definitely follow you to death as well. So, please give birth to a healthy baby.”
She already had a special place within him. He just couldn’t imagine a place without her anymore.
“Yes, I will. I won’t leave you and the child behind.”
“You promised me.”
“I promise. I will engrave on you a pledge that will never ever break.”
She smiled as she rubbed her thumb all over her teary face. Even though it was such a mess, her smile was as beautiful as a blooming flower.
“Thank you, Raven.”
“Thank you, too.”
“I’ll make sure to hold onto it.”
Her lips eventually fell upon Raven’s.
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