Double-Blind: A Modern LITRPG

A whirring grind stirred me to consciousness, bright over-saturated light blinding me and rendering my greater surroundings indecipherable. Composite plastic scratched paint as the electric outlet's faceplate dropped from where it was previously mounted, screw coming loose and nestling somewhere deep in the plush carpet.

"Who's still doing construction?" A small voice moaned from beneath a pile of blankets in the nearby bed.

"Uh." That was as far as I got before realizing that the answer was probably me. There was a drill in my hand, and below the bedside end table was another dismantled outlet, components arranged next to it as if someone had planned to put it back together only to get distracted halfway through. "Don't worry about it."

"Is this what a hangover feels like?" Kinsley asked, her small muffled voice ragged and uncomfortable.

"Probably."

"People sign up for this?" She croaked.

"I think it's the before part that they're after."

"I don't even remember the before part!"

"You didn't miss much. I'll close the curtains, just try to sleep it off."

"Kay." There was a grunt as Kinsley rolled over and wedged herself further into the covers, breath regulating then becoming a quiet snore.

On some level, I had to agree. Beyond the cooking oil mishap I'd barely drank, and between the pounding in my head and the warped fishbowl visual perspective, the punishment didn't feel at all proportional to the crime.

Something clattered in the kitchen, unsettling me more than it should have. For better and worse—mainly worse—I remembered the previous night's proceedings with stark clarity, all the way through to crashing out on the couch. Objectively, I knew there were other people here. Kinsley of course, and Nick and Sae were probably still around. But knowing did nothing for the thick knot of anxiety lodged in my chest.

Just gonna confirm.

I pushed the cracked door open with my foot, and the intense ambient light magnified, washing everything out.

"Heads up, here he comes again." I made out Sae's silhouette, still lounging on the couch we'd fallen asleep on. Further back, there was a clatter as a blurry outline of Nick dropped what he was doing, picked up a metallic object and pointed it at me.

"No toaster," Nick said, jabbing the—spatula, maybe—towards me. From the combined gesture and tone I got that it was a warning, but the meaning was almost impossible to parse. Behind him, my toaster was an unfocused blob of silver on the counter.

"Okay... didn't have any plans for it, but sure. And are you seriously wearing an apron?" I asked.

He was. A pink lacy apron that read Kiss the Chef in red print across the front, embroidered with a heart. Thankfully fully clothed beneath. Besides Charlotte, who kept putting the brownies away like they were nothing all night, Nick had partaken the most, and was seemingly affected so little by the aftermath that he'd gotten up before everyone else and started cooking breakfast.

"'Doesn't have any plans, he says,'" Nick stabbed the spatula at me. "Like he hasn't been stalking it like bizarro Bob the Builder."

"Matt, you with us? Like, actually lucid?" Sae observed, slouched low on the couch where the backing shielded her from the late morning light.

"Guess I was sleepwalking?" I asked, still trying to catch up.

They both nodded, and Nick went back to his cooking, hovering over it.

"Mumbled for us to fuck off when we tried to get your attention. Look around," Sae said.

Once more, I tried to wipe the sleep from my eyes. It worked better this time, and though my perspective was still warped, I could make out far more detail. Every electrical outlet had suffered the same fate as the ones in the guest room. From the TV stand to the bookshelves, everything with a door or latch had been opened, interior contents either removed or rearranged in a hurry. Three metal vent covers had been hastily stacked on the coffee table, beside five smoke detectors that were gutted, stripped down to their internal circuitry, nine-volt batteries arranged next to them.

"The hell?" I asked no one in particular.

"There's a couple working theories," Nick announced, skillet sizzling as he chased what smelled like eggs around with the spatula. "Either your subconscious and impaired mind went into loot goblin mode, and started taking this place apart the same way we handle a dungeon if we're being thorough–"

"–Or you were looking for bugs," Sae provided dryly.

The latter made far more sense, given the feeling I'd had from the moment I'd woken, and the areas I'd apparently focused on. On some level, I understood. Because as I'd been replaying it in my mind, it was obvious that I had fucked up. From the unfortunate surprise to the invitation from Miles I'd mostly just been playing the cards that were dealt. But accepting that invitation and subsequently leaving Julien and Charlotte unattended, created a blind spot that was entirely through human error.

Should have asked them to leave earlier, idiot.

voice sounded even more edgy than usual, as if somehow sentient and unhappy with its earlier suppression. I wondered, grumpily, if this was the result of some sort of interaction between the party favors, my title, and . There were aspects of that theory that didn't track, of course. But it was at least a partial explanation for the lapse in time, which was better than none.

"Obviously, we were all kind of blasted, but did–"

Sae interrupted impatiently. "Either Nick or I had eyes on the court people most of the evening. Almost the whole time. Charlotte took a couple breaks from working on me to use the bathroom, but not often. The toilet flushed both times, hands were damp when she came back."

"Jules was just vibing all night," Nick agreed, portioning the scrambled eggs and bacon onto plates and serving up coffee. "Followed me around after you ditched us for the clandestine rendezvous. Kept that up until they called it."

"I asked this earlier," I realized.

"In a dryer, more zombie-ish fashion, yeah. Side note, what did Miles want?" Sae asked, peering over the blanket. "Anything we need to worry about?"

"Other than asking perfunctory permission to marry my mother? Nothing, really. I think we're clear." There was an internal prodding from , almost passive-aggressively drawing attention to the fact that I was missing something without spelling out what it was. It took a full second to put my finger on it. "What about Tara?"

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Sae scoffed and pulled the blanket overhead, emerging moments later when Nick brought over the food.

"You mean your girlfriend who did nothing but help things go smoothly and talk you up all night? Your fake girlfriend? That one?" Nick scowled at me, clearly annoyed, shoving a plate at me before he settled down and began to eat.

"What crawled up his ass?" I asked Sae.

"Halfway through the night he decided the chemistry between you both was too real to be fake. Went full degenerate shipper until I crushed his head-cannon and he's been low-key tilted ever since," Sae complained, forking the first bite of fluffy yellow into her mouth, wincing preemptively. She glanced over at Nick. "What is this?"

"Ehhgs?" Nick answered, mouth completely full.

"Yeah but it isn't terrible," Sae said, staring down at the plate in disbelief. "It's actually kind of good."

I took a few experimental bites. Between the salt, pepper, and something I couldn't quite put my finger on, it was perfectly seasoned. "Sae's not wrong. Since when did you learn to cook anything that wasn't a blackened husk?"

"Not gonna misdirect me, toaster assassin. Been dodging your shambling ass all morning, waiting for confirmation. Is the fake girlfriend actually fake, or is there a little somethin' somethin' happening there?" Nick made a vague, circular motion with his fork and stared at me with a determination that communicated he had no intention of letting this go.

"It's weird," I admitted, annoyed with how Nick seemed to hang off every word.

"Uhuh," Nick said, leaning forward.

"First of all, she's an employee. It wouldn't be appropriate."

"Totally right," Sae nodded along sarcastically. "No one in the history of humanity has ever crossed the ethical lines of dating their boss."

"Technically, Kinsley's her boss. And whose side are you on?" I glared at her.

"Mine. Obviously."

I thought about it. There was a lot I couldn't say. Partially because they were details my sober mind didn't care to share, partially because some of my observations were too personal and subsequently cruel to give voice to. Because all three of us had known someone who smiled the same way Tara did. Someone who was kind, clever, and had an eye for detail. Someone who could walk into a room and capture the hearts of everyone in it effortlessly, just by being who she was.

Someone who was gone.

"But..." Nick prompted, steepling his fingers.

"I've never seriously entertained the idea of, you know, sharing my life with someone. Part of that is an issue of domain. Isolation is how I recharge, recoup. If I don't get that time, little things that should be minor irritations become bigger problems, and after there are too many problems I end up lashing out. So the idea of someone constantly being there, sharing that space, has never appealed to me."

"And yet..." Nick raised his eyebrows.

"Tara doesn't... bother me. Like at all. There's definitely friction. We're too different for there not to be... but somehow it's not tiresome the same way it is with other people. So far, our points of conflict are productive. Beyond that, she's scary smart, somehow genuinely seems to like me despite my quirks, and is one of the most proactive people I've ever met."

"Which has all lead to the realization that..." If Nick leaned forward any further, he was going to fall off the couch.

"In some alternate universe where we actually have a chance to retire and step away from all this? I guess I could see myself settling down with someone like her as a partner."

Nick leapt to his feet, contents of his still-held plate shifting erratically as he cocked his free-arm, ready to pump it.

"Hold up. That's an intentionally broad term, dumbass," Sae raised her voice, interjecting just shy of a full-blown preemptive celebration from Nick. She gave me a withering look. "For fuck's sake, stop edging him before he makes a mess."

"A partner purely in the non-romantic, tackling life together, sense," I admitted, suppressing a laugh as Nick collapsed back onto the couch, crumpled and defeated.

"But she's so hot, bro," Nick protested hoarsely.

"Such is life," I shrugged. Maybe now we could finally stop talking about it.

"No one's stopping you from dating Tara," Sae observed, growing cranky from Nick's antics.

Nick twisted in his seat to face Sae, actively horrified. "Never. I'd never date my friend's fake girlfriend. Even if she was his ex. Fake ex. Whatever."

"Because you're fucking Matt?"

"What? Weird segue, and no. Because friends don't do that to friends."

"So," Sae nodded along, tapping her lower lip with a finger. "You're saying it's possible to have a meaningful relationship and genuine connection with a person you have no intention of banging?"

Nick pinched the bridge of his nose. "Ease up, Socrates. Just seems like a waste is all."

"To you, maybe. But just because you're wired to need both doesn't mean everyone else does. Let him be who he is."

"You right. Just want my boy to be happy."

"Same," Sae squinted at me. "However it lands—even if it's messy, don't write the concept off. Every failed relationship helps clarify what you're looking for in the future."

"Thanks," I said, realizing after a moment that I truly meant it. It was an odd topic, trivial in the greater scope of everything happening around us, but the acceptance felt gratifying, somehow. "But we should probably refocus on surviving the next few weeks. Other than Iris, what do we have on the docket today?"

"Tower's out," Nick shook his head. "Started blowing up both Aaron and Tyler's messages first thing this morning and got a firm negative. Aaron's game, but Tyler thinks people are still too shaken by what happened yesterday and more likely to make mistakes. Pushed but he wouldn't budge."

"Probably the right call. But at the rate we're going, I'm not sure we'll make it," I muttered.

"Yeah. Planning to go in swinging as soon as we have the go ahead but, might need to consult with Hastur, start talking about plan b." Nick's brow furrowed. "What's, uh, happening with Iris today?"

The pillow Sae chucked at me like a throwing axe sailed harmlessly by my head. "Seriously?"

"Felt wrong to tell him until I talked to your grumpy ass. Really gonna give me shit for that?" I asked defensively, catching the second pillow thrown in response and tossing it back. It caught the air unnaturally, swooping up at the last second and clipping her chin.

"Bitch! I just got this face," Sae snapped back, real fear flashing for a second before she covered it. "Who brings User powers to a pillow fight?"

I hadn't, had I? Subconsciously, I glanced down at the bound ring on my finger. significantly reduced both the stamina costs and spin-up time of my ordinator abilities, at the cost of giving me a permanent mental hair-trigger. There'd only been one slip up since I'd equipped it early on, and ever since it had more or less worked flawlessly. But...

"Guys, hello?" Nick looked between us blankly, still waiting for an answer.

Sae groaned in annoyance, then started to convey what the potion did and our plans for it. She'd only made it about halfway through before Nick suddenly bolted upright, his eyes wide. He hustled towards the door, stripping the apron off, tossing it aside, and pulling on his shoes. He addressed us both over his shoulder almost as an afterthought. "Text where you're going and don't start without me!"

"Nick. The first thing this little girl hears cannot be your guitar store rendition of Smoke on the Water. Nick!" Sae sat up straighter and barked after him, the blanket covering her lap sliding off and unsettling my sister, who blinked awake and immediately began wiping sleep out of her eyes. But Nick was already gone, the vibration of heavy footsteps growing more distant as he jogged down the hallway.

"Might compromise with Stairway to Heaven, if it comes to that," I offered, more than a little amused with how protective Sae had grown of my sister. Nick being this enthusiastic was a given, considering how long they'd known each other. He'd watched her endure a lot of the hardships. But this was new for Sae.

"That's not better," Sae argued.

"It's a little better."

"What's wrong? Why are people yelling?" Iris signed, still blinking the sleep out of her eyes. Though still tired and beleaguered, she somehow seemed less troubled than before. I chose to take it as a positive sign. Maybe something good had come out of the party after all.

"Everything's fine," I spoke aloud as I signed, mainly for Sae's benefit. "There's breakfast, and after you grab a bite, we're going on a little field trip."

"To where?" Iris asked.

"You'll see."

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