Chloe drove to Mackie's school. She parked her new car in front of the school gate and said, "Dear, don't forget to give the submission paper to Mr. Peterson, okay?"
"Okay, Mommy!" Mackie nodded happily. She seemed to have something in mind, but it took her a while to ask, "Mommy, will Daddy come to watch my drama? Daddy has never watched any of my drama, and he also never attended any parent meetings with you. My friends asked if I have no Daddy…."
Chloe went silent for a while. She knew that Mackie would ask about this sooner or later.
Mackie sometimes went on a tantrum whenever Vincent was missing during the parents' meeting, and it'd take Chloe a long time to coax her until she felt at ease.
Sometimes she had to call Vincent and beg him to coax Mackie because their daughter wouldn't stop throwing tantrums until Vincent said something to calm her down.
In exchange for that favor, Chloe had to undergo another verbal abuse since Vincent would often call her a useless mother because she couldn't pacify their daughter.
Chloe took a deep breath and explained slowly, "Dear, I don't think your Daddy can come to the autumn festival."
"Why not?" Mackie asked innocently. "Is he busy? Can you at least call him for me, Mommy? I want to talk to Daddy. I want to tell him that I will be playing as the Big Bad wolf."
…
Chloe wanted to lie again.
She wanted to keep lying to her daughter, telling Mackie that Daddy was busy or he had a problem he needed to take care of. So she would live in a clean world where nothing would harm her.
A world where her Daddy was the best father, and there was nothing ever happening between her parents.
But the more she lied, the more she felt heavy in her heart.
Because no amount of white lies would be enough to hide the fact that Mackie's father was a horrible man who had no ounce of love for his own daughter.
"Mackie, I don't think we can call Daddy…." Chloe said slowly, just to ensure she wouldn't hurt Mackie.
"Why not?" Mackie asked again. She didn't have any suspicion about it because, in her mind, Daddy was simply busy.
"Remember when I say that Daddy has a problem of his own?"
"Um… yes…" Mackie nodded weakly. "Is it a big problem? But Daddy is smart. What took him so long to be done with his problem?"
'Because it's not about being smart, dear. It's about having a heart. Your Daddy doesn't have that….' Chloe said in her heart, unable to utter more words to her daughter.
"I don't know dear. I also don't know why he can't finish his problem soon," Chloe replied.
"Mommy, if Daddy can't come, can you at least call Daddy again? Or maybe we can go to his office after school!"
"W—We can't, dear. Your Daddy won't accept any guests…."
"Because Daddy is busy?"
"Yes..."
"Oh…" Mackie was dispirited. Her usual cheerfulness disappeared instantly, and she lowered her head. "Okay then, please try calling him again, Mommy. I really want to talk to him…."
"Dear—" Chloe was tongue-tied after she realized that she had nothing to say to her daughter. The more she said something, the more she would hurt her daughter.
So she simply went silent as her daughter opened the car door and entered the school gate. Chloe watched her daughter's lonely back, and her heart was crushed every second she realized how much damage she had indirectly caused by keeping Mackie unaware of the real situation.
"I just want you to have a normal childhood, dear…." Chloe murmured while watching Mackie. "I don't have a father growing up. So I thought, you should have one, even if that man turns out to be a horrible person…."
"I'm sorry…." Chloe lowered her head and leaned into the steering wheel.
She knocked her forehead on the steering wheel several times to punish herself for this mistake.
"I don't know what to do. I can't imagine the heartbreak that Mackie would feel if she knew the truth about her father…." Chloe murmured. "What should I do next? Should I just… tell her?"
Chloe's heart was filled with dread as she imagined her daughter crying out of heartbreak when she realized that the image of a heroic father in her head was all false memory implanted by Chloe.
She was the one who made fairy notes for Mackie. She also often bought toys based on what Mackie wanted and claimed that her Daddy was the one who bought them for her.
She was the only parental figure that filled Mackie's life growing up.
"I… I can't. I'm too weak," Chloe blamed herself. She knew she should've told Mackie about everything, maybe slowly, but she deserved to know about her father's abuse.
But Chloe was way too weak. She couldn't endure the pain of watching her daughter cry.
"Please wait for a while, Mackie. I… I will tell you," Chloe said, her voice shaky as she knew this was bound to happen. "I will tell you once you're old enough. You can blame me after that. But I just can't let your childhood get ruined because of him…."
Chloe ended up staying in the parking lot for a while. She was still trying to recover from the guilt she was currently experiencing.
She checked her phone again. She scrolled through contact and stopped at Vincent's number.
She wanted to call him right now. Not to return but to tell him how much Mackie missed him.
She wanted Vincent to talk to his daughter at least. A simple hello would make Mackie's day— even her entire week.
But…
"I can't…." Chloe decided to throw her phone back into her bag. "I don't believe that Vincent will cooperate with me. I don't know what he will say if he's talking with Mackie."
…
"So the only way is to keep lying, huh?"
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