Debut or Die

Let’s be frank and think about it.

‘It’s understandable that they would want Bae Sejin playing in a drama.’

He was originally a child actor and he appeared in <Idol Inc.> to continue his acting career.

Besides, no matter how you looked at it, his actor-related skills were better than his idol-related skills.

‘He must be shaken, too.’

I insinuatingly asked Bae Sejin who had a slightly darker complexion.

“I guess the drama he suggested was okay.”

“…It’s a drama by a writer I worked with when I was a child actor in the past. In that drama… I heard there is one small role.”

Bae Sejin murmured with a slightly gloomy face.

“Just now, that PD said that he is an acquaintance of the drama PD… He said the drama is fine, and T1 supports it…”

“Hmm.”

At this point, the company must have received an offer, but they cut it down because of our activities.

‘Are they trying not to give it any room because Testar is about to go on a tour?’

Unless there was a downward trend, the tour would definitely make more money.

“…Well, it’s fine. Any acquaintance would say it’s okay anyway.”

Bae Sejin said as if forcibly shaking it off, then he headed to a nearby trash can to throw away the business card.

“Wait a minute.”

“What?”

“How about talking to the company? It has been a year since our activities, so I thought it would be okay if you only talk about light works.”

Bae Sejin’s eyes widened.

Honestly, from my point of view, it was best for Bae Sejin to only do group activities for three years without thinking about anything else.

But people’s minds varied.

‘If you keep pressuring him, he might run away without completing the contract period.’

I could see that he wanted to do it, but he was afraid that it would cause a problem with the team’s activities, so he held back.

There was a limit to what people could endure with reason and sociality, no matter how much fun you had, you’d go crazy if you continued being bad at it while the thing you were good at was right in front of you.

‘Wouldn’t it be better to release a drama now?’

Listening to him, it seemed to be a small supporting role, so I thought it would be okay.

Even if he got cursed at, he could pass it off by saying, ‘It’s T1 production, so even Testar members are mobilized for its publicity~’

At least like this, he could loosen up a little and it would be easier to start acting in earnest after a few years.

There would be less repulsion.

I also secretly attached the basis of this reasoning so that Bae Sejin could rationalize it properly.

“You have a few solo entertainment shows, and you’re filming pictorials and commercials.”

“…”

However, Bae Sejin crumpled the business card with a firm face and put it in the trash can.

“…!”

“That’s enough. I’ll just get distracted.”

And he murmured as if he were determined.

“I’m just barely keeping up… I can’t afford to worry about anything else right now.”

I could feel the pressure in his voice.

“…Activities come first.”

“Hyung…”

“…??”

That wasn’t me.

When I turned my head to the voice that suddenly stepped in, Kim Raebin was looking at Bae Sejin with a face full of worries.

Looking at the drink in his hand, it seemed he was looking for Bae Sejin and me with the stuff in his hands that we couldn’t get because we weren’t there.

‘You’re still wearing a foot protector, just what are you…’

It was ridiculous, but the person concerned was cheerful.

“Seeing hyung so engrossed in Testar’s activities, I want to recover quickly from my injury and contribute to the team.”

“W-What’s with you? Where did you come from?”

“Ah, eat this!”

Bae Sejin flushed and freaked out.

‘Damn it.’

There was no room or atmosphere for further persuasion.

‘If he looks regretful, I’ll have to bring it up later.’

I shrugged, accepted the drink, and followed Kim Raebin toward the group.

Bae Sejin was drinking his tea with a grumpy look, but he didn’t seem too upset.

Up until this point.

“… So, I met Bae Sejin hyung and Moondae hyung and gave them the drinks.”

“You’ve worked hard~”

“But let’s be careful about your walk from now on, Raebin. I’ll take care of it until you recover.”

“I am getting used to it!”

In the car going back to the dorm.

Kim Raebin told the story of finding and bringing the two of us in response to the members’ questions, ‘Where have you been?’

Then in the back seat, Cha Eugene tapped Kim Raebin on the side and asked.

“What was the hyungs doing?”

“Ah, Bae Sejin hyung seems to be making a promise about Testar’s future activities…”

“N-No!”

Sitting in the front seat, Bae Sejin hurriedly denied it as his face turned red.

Kim Raebin tilted his head with a slight look of bewilderment as if he couldn’t understand the strong reaction.

“But you’ve refused some kind of activity and pledged your commitment to Testar…”

“No! It’s not that… Hey, tell them…”

“….”

You should do it yourself. Why are you calling me?

I opened my mouth reluctantly.

“Hyung was offered a role in a drama, but he refused. He wants to focus on the activities.”

“R-Really?”

I could see Bae Sejin groaning and covering his hands in front of me.

“You’ve worked hard, Sejin.”

“Try it next time! I like the challenge!”

“I-I’ll do my best for the activities, too…!”

The little emotion and encouragement warmed the inside of the car. Bae Sejin couldn’t raise his face, as if he had complicated and subtle thoughts.

‘Aigoo.’

I clicked my tongue and opened the water bottle. Next to me, Keun Sejin looked at his smartphone and spoke.

“You must have been disappointed. That’s amazing”

“…”

Bae Sejin in the front seat flinched and remained silent for a while.

Then he threw an answer as if the words came out unwittingly.

“That’s not what you think.”

“…!”

It was a rather sharp answer.

When Keun Sejin heard the answer, an incredulous smile appeared quickly on his face and then disappeared.

“Yes? Hey, why would you think like that? I just said something nice.”

“…I know you’re being sarcastic, but stop doing such things. I told you, I refused the offer.”

“When did I twist hyung’s words?… No. Right. I’m sorry. I won’t speak to you from now on. Is that all right with you then?”

“If you’re going to speak like that every time, I’d rather you say it to me directly.”

The atmosphere in the car suddenly froze.

‘What the f*ck is this?’

Without even giving me time to think about anything, Keun Sejin took off his headphone next to me.

Keun Sejin was now laughing without hiding it anymore.

“What are you talking about? I already speak nicely to you.”

“Stop making people feel weird. Do you think I don’t know?”

“Why would I make you feel weird? No, I don’t know why you’re saying this.”

“Guys, wait a minute.”

Bae Sejin quickly turned his head. His eyes were blazing.

“You’re still doing it. You think I’m pathetic, don’t you? I know what you’re thinking, I only have pride and it doesn’t help with anything.”

“…!”

“Look.”

“It’s so ridiculous, I am at loss for words.”

“And you pretend to be close to me only when it benefits you in front of the camera.”

Gradually, Keun Sejin was getting angry, looking really furious.

“Then should we fight in front of the camera? Hyung, it’s not a kid’s game, every time people…”

Bae Sejin hit himself on the armrest.

“I am serious about this! You’re the one who is acting like a kid.”

“What?”

The atmosphere became so violent that it was entirely because we were in the car that it didn’t spread into a fistfight.

Then, Keun Sejin pulled his upper body forward as if it was really going to happen.

“Who are you talking to right now…”

“Hey, stop.”

‘Is he crazy?’

I quickly pressed his chest with one hand. The others who were taken aback by the sudden quarrel also came to their senses and began to tear them apart.

“Yeah, guys, let’s stop! Hyung is going to have a heart attack while driving!”

“C-Calm down…”

“Why don’t we go back to the dorm first and have a talk?”

“We’re in a moving car right now. We might get into an accident!”

“…”

The two glared at each other, then quietly sat back in their seats.

Of course, the atmosphere was still brutal.

In the car that was as quiet as a dead rat, I endured the silence.

‘I’m going crazy.’

The cracks that had been noticeable since our debut suddenly exploded in a not-so-great fuse.

‘Is there a limit to just tolerating each other?’

My head hurt just thinking whether there was a way to solve this.

‘…First of all, let’s mediate the conversation once we arrive at the dorm.’

It was troublesome, but there was no other way. I decided to close my eyes and wait until we arrived at the dorm.

However, rather than talking, those two quickly locked themselves in their own rooms as soon as they entered the dorm.

To be exact, the moment Bae Sejin went straight to his room, Lee Sejin snorted and also went to his room.

Rather than avoiding each other… both of them just looked really pissed off.

‘F*ck.’

There was no solution.

“…”

The rest of the Testar sitting in the living room just stared at the TV screen in silence.

There was even an that I didn’t want to see.

[A warm touch like a warm heart]

[Meet the prospective guide dogs at Oseon’s Guide Dog Professional School!]

It was the commercial I had shot with Cheongryeo. Yellow dogs jumping out of the outdoor grass and hanging on to my head in the bright filter were coming out as repeated scenes. My face looked pretty stupid.

“Oh, Moondae hyung.”

“Dogs are great…”

Cha Eugene’s voice, saying that dogs were great, sounded less energetic than usual.

No, not just Cha Eugene, everyone seemed to be a bit flustered and dazed.

‘This team managed to get along harmoniously.’

Since our debut, we never fought so openly.

It was understandable why they were so taken aback.

Unlike the bitter atmosphere of reality, the screen showed Cheongryeo and a lively flock of dogs.

[We grew up with your love]

[Thank you! Everyone!]

[National Insurance – Oseong Life Insurance]

It was a mess over there. It was a mess over here, too.

“Sigh.”

I couldn’t help but sigh. Ruffling the back of my head, I organized the situation in my mind.

Let’s think.

‘First of all… It was bad timing.’

Bae Sejin must have been in a state of confusion because of his difficult decision to refuse the drama.

He was a sensitive guy. He must have noticed Keun Sejin’s subtle way of speaking and piled it up under the stress, but this time he must have found it unbearably annoying.

‘Keun Sejin is obsessed with career achievements.’

He didn’t have a status abnormality like me, but he was the type who paid keen attention to his grades.

As a result, he didn’t like the stiff Bae Sejin, who had low-level abilities and poor social skills.

So, there was a high probability that he thought the person he had to ‘put up with’ was a jerk.

‘And above all… Those two just don’t fit.’

They had variously nothing in common except hard work. It was clear that there was no good feeling between them and that they couldn’t understand each other’s actions.

I pressed my temples.

To be honest, I just wanted to let them take care of it on their own while the camera was running…

‘But I’ll have to try something.’

…Back when that happened with Ryu Chungwoo, they were so considerate of me.

Getting fed up, I got up from the sofa and headed for the kitchen.

“Moondae.”

“Hyung.”

Ryu Chungwoo quietly caught up to me and smiled bitterly.

“To Sejin, I mean, I’ll go to Lee Sejin… Do you want to go to Bae Sejin? You two should talk.”

“Hmm.”

It seemed he spread us out by considering the fact that I was currently roommates with Bae Sejin.

I pondered for a moment, but I shook my head.

“I think it would be better for me to go to Lee Sejin.”

“Really?”

Really. Looking back, there was something bothering me because I was the only one who knew about it.

Ryu Chungwoo nodded in good spirits.

“Yeah. It might be better to be of the same age.”

“Yes.”

“Then… let’s suffer.”

Ryu Chungwoo tapped me on the shoulder and left the kitchen. I turned my head and opened the refrigerator.

‘Alcohol is going to have the opposite effect.’

Let’s get some cold water.

I went to Lee Sejin’s door with two bottles of mineral water in one hand.

Knock, knock.

“It’s me.”

“…”

After a while, the door opened with a small sigh.

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