Death, Devotion, Dissonance

The father and son's argument continued on. According to the clock, it was only thirty minutes since Phel was called to his father's study, but it felt as if he spent an entire day in the dreary room. 

He wanted nothing else, other than to walk out of the room, and have his father never mention the discussion again. He was so close to walking out on his father, but his noble upbringing simply couldn't allow him to act like that. He couldn't even properly argue against his father; only expressing his desires in a civil, polite manner. 

The heavy silence did not help his mood at all.

Containing a sigh, Phel asked his father, keeping his voice level. 

"Can I leave now?"

He tried to not to let the spite and tiredness he was feeling to seep into his tone. 

His father did not reply.. In that case, Phel wouldn't budge either.

If his father wanted to be stubborn, he would do the same. He did not want to yield. He wanted to win this argument against his father. The problem was, he didn't have any grand strategies to win the fight. His only tactic was to act stubborn until his old man gave in.

The tactic usually worked. His father had a soft side. Ever since Phel was a child, he often used this tactic to get what he wanted. He felt that his father knew about it, but let it be, since Phel usually wasn't rebellious. 

He was the model son. He was allowed to act spoiled here and there. And it didn't take much effort from him either. He just needed to remain steadfast in his stance and eventually, things would go his way.

His father on the other hand, tried many things to convince Phel. He first mentioned the discrimination gays received inside the kingdom. He tried to convince Phel logically, that a noble heir having a homosexual relationship was a bad thing. 

That didn't work, so he tried begging. He begged Phel to be responsible, to think about his parents and also his subjects. And most of all, to think about Arza, since surely, if Phel were to be punished, Arza would receive the same treatment, or worse.

Phel's heart wrung at the words, but he managed to remain outwardly unaffected. 

Then, his father tried the silent treatment. Hence, the current situation. Two stubborn people trying to out-stubborn each other. 

"Can I leave?" Phel asked again.

"You will not be allowed to leave until you swear to me to break off with the boy!" his father suddenly roared. 

Phel flinched, surprised by his father's sudden increase in volume. He never really shouted at him before. Most of the time, it was his mother to be cold or angry with him. His father was always soft and humorous with him. 

Seeing his father act like this, Phel realized that something as different this time.

But after the moment of shock passed, Phel felt angry. 

Who was his father to decide what Phel could and could not do? He used his entire childhood, diligently learning what he was taught, faithfully serving his town as a proper heir, and most of all, trying to push himself to become a proper mage like his parents always wanted him to.

But the moment he tries to do something of his own wish, his father calls him in and says he can't do that. Phel deserved some freedom in his life. 

"…"

But despite his sudden desire to shout and complain, he remained silent. He quickly got rid of his hurt expression and went back to being stubborn. The calm and collected won in the end.

"Can I leave?"

"You think you can get away with it by acting like a child again?" his father roared. "If you want to act like a child, then why don't you behave like one and listen to your parent properly?! And if you're so damn mature, then act like it and understand the consequences of your actions!"

The part about Phel being childish hit true, but he was too deep into this to back off. 

"…"

"Say something!" his father shook him.

Not receiving a reaction, his father's expression turned from raging hot to chilling cold in a matter of seconds. Phel realized it was a hundred times better if his father was screaming at him at the top of his lung, instead of looking at him like that. 

"Get out if you want," his father whispered. "But remember that you're no longer a Narke if you leave."

Then, his father threw Phel a piece of paper. It was a rather long document, but its name stood out like a sore thumb.

[Disowning paper] the title read. 

For a moment, Phel's mind blanked.

He quickly picked the paper up and read through it. From the statements written on it and the formal wording, he concluded it was a real document. And to top it all off, his father's wax stamp was pressed on the paper's bottom.

"Curse me if you want. I don't care. Go bother your mother if you want. I don't care. But if you're not separated from your boyfriend by the end of the week, I'll submit my own copy to the Nobility Bureau."

It suddenly felt as if the sky had fallen on Phel.

"You… You can't do-" 

"I can and I will!" his father shouted before Phel could finish. "No doubt Arza's honesty and integrity you love and respect. In fact, I respect the boy for those traits as well. But to push for a same-sex relationship because of it? I can't allow that for you, I'm sorry."

"…"

"But in honor of his honesty, I will promise you this one thing. I will tell you that I'm not threatening you emptily. I am serious in what I've said. And I hope you'll take this seriously as well. I will disown you if you keep your relationship…" his father paused and straightened himself. "I am repeating myself already. You may leave."

Phel's father walked past him and opened the door. Phel just looked at his father, unsure if he should say something. If he should do something.

"Well, go on then. You've been wanting to leave, no?" his father urged and gestured at the doorway. "Come on. Go."

*****

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