Lara had made the decision, but she didn't know how to fulfil her desires. She wanted to become a better person, but she couldn't get out without Nate, Samantha, or a guard.
She didn't want to run away like a brat, either. She had to build her relationship with Nate on trust and actions other than feelings.
Still, she couldn't bring herself to ask him for help.
She would have liked to set herself free from her irrational fears and, as a new person, show him the results. But to do so, she needed to leave the company during an afternoon every week.
«I need some time for myself,» she said soon after lunch. «Alone, far from wolves. I want to take a walk in the city without a guard.»
«That's out of the question,» was the prompt reply, but she was expecting it. She couldn't even be angry at him because she was busy looking for a solution to her issues.
«I'm not asking for permission,» she pointed out. «I'm just informing you. I don't want anyone to get in trouble after you find out I'm gone. And I don't want you to worry. It will be all right. I'll use public transport and come back long before evening... It won't be dangerous. Those people can't do anything in crowded places.»
«But, Lara... They are strong, and they want to hurt you!»
«I won't let them,» she said. «And I'll come back without a hair out of place. If it makes you feel better, I can call a taxi...»
«A taxi?» he said. «Do you need a driver? I can lend you my car.»
«I don't have a driving licence. My mother said I didn't have any use for it, so I never attended the course and the exam to get one. I was the only one among my peers back then. But it felt more like I was a princess, to them, always driven by someone back and forth.»
«Your family also has a driver, I guess,» Nate said. «You should be used to being driven, Lara. I'll send you one of the company drivers... Just be careful on your way.»
«Thank you,» she said, smiling content. It had been easier than she thought it would.
«I'm not giving you any permission, Lara. You said I have no right to.»
«I'm thanking you for the help, Nate, not for the permission.»
«You're welcome.»
They watched each other for a moment, and then Lara smiled again.
«I'm glad you're not too stubborn,» she said.
«You don't like stubborn people, do you? Also, there's nothing I could do to stop you, right? I'm sorry that you feel imprisoned here, though.»
«I don't feel so.»
«But you said you want to stay far from wolves and from me.»
«Just for a few hours... I need privacy and my space. It's normal for human women, I guess... But, I think it's not only a human thing.»
«You're not tired of us, then,» he murmured.
«I am not, Nate.»
Oh, if only he knew that she was doing it for him, to become a better person and a more trustworthy partner. To be a better mother for their kids, and even, maybe, a better Alpha's mate for the pack...
«I will keep the kids for the day if you need more time, but I'd really, really appreciate it if you kept it short. I mean: come back before dark, please. It would make me feel less apprehensive.»
«I'll have my phone on all the time, and you can just send a message if something happens,» Lara said. «I won't turn it off.»
«Sure.» He nodded, knowing very well that he couldn't just call her every five minutes no matter how worried he could be. Those couple of hours of peace for her would have been a torment for him. Yet, what choice did he have?
«Does it feel hard on you?» Lara asked, tilting her head and misunderstanding his expression. «When someone disobeys you, I mean... Even though I'm not a wolf, I'm starting to feel like part of the pack. Is it so bad when I do things on my own?»
«It's not bad, Lara. I don't feel bad at all! Just a little concerned about your security.»
He bit his tongue, keeping for himself the rest of his thought. He risked losing her for good if he was too strict. She could just collect her things and leave any moment, most likely bringing the pups with her. He would be alone once again; a couple of hours of constant worry were nothing compared to that.
He would have the pups next to him, and they would wait for her together.
It wasn't too bad, all in all. He just had to pray Lara was okay and wouldn't wander too far from crowded places.
«I might need my space more often,» she added. «Like... Once a week?»
Nate's pale face almost made her laugh, but it wasn't the time for jokes. She was having a serious conversation, and it was vital Nate understood how much it meant to her.
«Don't even dream about having me followed. I will soon know every face in the pack. I will notice if you send someone after me.»
«I wouldn't do that ever!» Nate lied. He was just considering it, but with some worry. He knew she wouldn't like it.
He hadn't done it in the past when she couldn't have noticed, and it brought her trouble. Doing it now that she was expecting it was a suicidal move.
«Oh, I don't think the Mayford pack will have time to trouble you, Lara,» he said.
He couldn't send someone to follow her. But he could make sure the wolves in Mayford had their hands too full with other stuff to even think about Lara, let alone hurt or kidnap her again.
He could protect Lara in his own way without sending someone to intrude into her privacy or overlook her safety.
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