Samantha observed Lara's thinking face, and she relaxed on her chair. She didn't even care anymore if her secret was exposed.
Talking about it with someone made her feel better than she thought. The weight on her shoulders had disappeared, and everything left was the sadness in her heart. But that would have stayed with her forever.
«I think I'm starting to understand a little,» Lara said at some point. «About the mate thing and about the pack hierarchies. But I still have no clue what happens when someone finds a mate or starts a relationship with a wolf from another pack. Is that forbidden, by any chance?»
«It can't be forbidden, Lara. We don't choose who is our fated mate. As for relationships... They are undesirable because things get complicated. But it's not a taboo. Some wolves date only outside of their pack, especially if they're not looking for a stable relationship.»
«So, it's not something as rare as it sounds. There must have been plenty of other cases similar to this. What would they do to solve it?»
«You have forgotten something about wolves, Lara,» Samantha chuckled.
«Yes?»
«Wolves mate for life.»
«For life? Oh, we humans do as well, mostly.»
«It's worse than that. Once a wolf decides to mate, they choose a single person and are loyal for the rest of their life.»
«Oh, wolves don't sleep around? Don't date and stuff?»
«It's not that we don't sleep around. It's different... It's not just about dating and sex... We can have a human-like dating life, a one-night stand; we can have a boyfriend or a girlfriend for a period. It all can happen, but once we decide, we stay true to our words.»
«So, if you're in a relationship, it's done. You both have decided to stay with each other for life.»
«More or less, yeah. When we decide to accept each other as mates, we're loyal for life. Even in the case that something happens to our mate, we don't look for another one.»
«What about one-night stands?» she then asked, suddenly curious. It was her case, but Nate had insisted they dated. He said they should know each other... «And dates?»
«It's like this: we can date and have relationships, but we don't commit. Mostly, we know from the start if we can spend the rest of our life with a person. Dating is just a loss of time, and we do it only for fun. When we know it won't work, but we're bored or need some warmth.»
«I see...»
«In your case, it's different,» Samantha added, realising who she was talking to.
It was one thing if she wasn't there when the pack needed her. Nate said it didn't matter, for mistakes could happen. But if her words made Lara doubt Nate's intentions and seriousness... Oh, he wouldn't have forgiven her.
«You are human, Lara. Nate isn't dating you for fun, but because he knows you need it.»
«Yes?» Lara said, tilting her head again. «Because I need it?»
«Nate already knows whether he can spend the rest of his life with you,» she explained. «He proposed dating because you are human.»
That revelation made Lara blink a couple of times.
«He knows it?»
«Yes, he does. He knew it when you two first met. And he spent six years thinking he had lost the only woman he could accept at his side. Thinking you left him because of... Because of something, anything.»
«But... We met at a club, Samantha. We also didn't talk much before going to the hotel, and I felt a little weird...»
«Weird?»
«I thought it was because of the alcohol, but Nate said it was not. Not only, at least. I've forgotten everything about that night. Except that I felt happy for the days to come. Sometimes, I have glimpses of it... Moments of deja vu. But nothing more than that.»
«What?» Samantha said, opening her eyes wide. «You forgot your first night with your mate? That's a huge, huge waste!»
Lara shrugged, not knowing how to reply. She didn't forget on purpose.
«Even if Nate said it wasn't the alcohol, I lose control every time I drink and he's nearby. Even just a few sips make me... Ehm... Naughty?»
«Oh. Then drink more often. I'm sure Nate is happy about it!»
«But I don't want to build a relationship over things I do when I'm out of control.»
«That's how wolves live,» Samantha chuckled. «But you're lucky your mate is the wolf with the most self-control among all the wolves I know. He won't hurt you, believe me.»
«I'm not afraid of Nate. I just want to be myself, not some other assertive person with odd ideas.»
«What's bad about being assertive?» Samantha asked, thinking about her own odd ideas. Rider did complain a little about it, but he didn't sound convinced. What if males really didn't like assertive women?
Oh, but who cared? It was over with Rider. There was no point in regretting it anymore. And she didn't care as much about what her future partners would think. They wouldn't last long, after all.
After Rider, after meeting her mate, no one would have been up to her standards.
«There's nothing wrong. Just, I am not like that. I want to be myself,» Lara explained, feeling the turmoil of emotions in Samantha's heart and mind.
«Ah, I see.» So, she didn't need to change. Not that it was her intention, but...
Samantha sighed, remembering anew she wouldn't meet Rider again. If not when the bond became unbearable and they lost control of their bodies. She could try being less assertive then, though. Or maybe not.
Talking with Lara didn't bring any news. Samantha didn't solve any problem. She was in the exact same situation as before, but she felt oddly lighter.
Just a conversation helped her bear it, even if for a few minutes.
She smiled, feeling it was less difficult than during the morning. She had been apart from Rider a few days only; it was just the beginning. She would have time to suffer later.
«Thank you, Lara,» she said.
«You're welcome,» was the quiet, dumbfounded reply.
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