Born a Monster

472 Forest Be Gone

“That doesn’t seem like a large number of troops we’re leaving behind to secure the town.” I said.

“Hah, let them revolt.” said Mohgson. “More land to claim for proper folk, and more of us on this side of the Sharp Teeth.”

We set out in the wake of three supply carts, each of them small enough to be pulled by a single horse.

“I also notice an absence of Kamajeen troops.” I said.

Ayya snorted. “They get the wild lands to the east, and as far south as they can push the thunder headed Uruk.”

Tigrin looked across at me. “His face is scrunched. Pale Worm doesn’t get it.”

“Private Siegen. Explain to the new soldier.”

She moved her hands like a Makura’s claws. “It’s called a pincer attack.” she said. “The enemy is caught between two forces, and crushed between them. In this case, it’s actually to our benefit to let them begin to sprawl before betraying them.”

“But... the numbers aren’t that much in our favor.”

.....

“Wait for it.” Ayya said. “It’s a surprise.”

“Not much of one.” Mohgson said.

“He’s not one of us.” Tigrin said. “Let him guess.”

Mohgson shrugged, and looked at the rising sun. “This march is going to take us all day.”

“Did you have better plans, Private Mohgson?” Drikt asked.

“Not as such.” he said. “And this is better than trying to carry supplies.”

“Don’t say it like that.” Tigrin said. “Thor the Rainy Day God hears much.”

“Thor’s paying about as much attention to this as Odin did to the bullying Loki endured as a child.” Mohgson said.

“BLASPHEMY.” he said, his hand grasping at his belt where he’d had a weapon the night before. Our weapons now rode on the cart in front of us, or in our inventories.

“Tigrin.” Drikt cautioned. “What have I warned you about such language?”

“Protecting blasphemy is as bad as blasphemy itself!”

“Oh?” she asked, “Is that what they told you when you tried to break the chain of command?”

Tigrin sputtered.

“How long did you expect me to play dumb on that subject? Why do you think the priests hold no military rank?”

“But... but...” and then he lowered his head.

“That’s right.” she said. “My rank is corporal. Yours is private. You, soldier, answer to me. And now, because your insolence is known by all the squad, I have to punish you. You KEEP your eyes lowered around me. IF I see them before the disk of the sun hits those trees, I will pluck them out and use them as olives in my next drink.”

“Oh.” said Siegen.

“Burned.” agreed Ayya.

“It’s been coming.” Denson said. “Blasphemy this, blasphemy in the third degree that.”

“You dare!” Tigrin said, but quickly snapped his gaze downward, his jaw shut.

“If the gods care so much about blasphemy,” Mohgson asked, “why don’t they punish it more often?”

“If you read your scriptures, you’d know.” Tigrin said.

“Oh, absolutely.” Mohgson said, “The scriptures speak of no less than fifteen acts of vengeance by gods upon the mortal realm. Ever notice that there’s a couple of centuries between today and the last proven case of divine punishment?”

“I’m warning you, Mohgson.” Tigrin said. “I may be unable to act against you today, but there’s always a tomorrow.”

“Not always.” said Siegen. “Some day, we all die.”

Mohgson spoke first. “Any day or night you choose. Bring the god, or whatever of his servants will listen to you.”

“As if yours is the superior brain.” Tigrin said. “You will run out of options, and fall into my trap.”

“NOT before muster at the end of the march.” Corporal Drikt said, “Or by Merciless Loki’s beard, I’ll have both of you up on charges of desertion.”

Ayya smirked as though she had just won something, and whispered to Siegen, who shrugged.

“Hey, Pale Worm!” she said to me. “Show us some magic to keep us entertained.”

To keep...! No, no, she was baiting me. She wanted a response.

“As a first level Water Adept, the mana I can access at a given time is limited.”

Which was, so far as I knew, actually true. My limit, because of how my System handled mana, seemed... more adequate than others of my skill level. Count in mana transformations into that balance, and I had quite the volume of unreliable magic to call upon.

She spat. “As useless as a third boob.” she said.

Denson sighed, “I’ve never seen a third boob on a woman who didn’t have a fourth to match it.”

“When?” Siegen asked.

“He’s talking about a Yeti woman.” Drikt said. “Something that, thank Loki, doesn’t live on this side of the Teeth. Pale Worm, what manner of women exist here that have more than two of these?” she rubbed her own chest to emphasize.

“Various beast-man races.” I said. “Centaurs and domugs, mostly. I’ve heard that the minotaur woman boasts six breasts, but that only the upper two are developed.”

Don’t believe everything you hear. And, just a friendly caution, never let a minotaur female hear you say anything about a difference in size between any of her breasts.

“I haven’t heard you use her name.” Denson said.

I shrugged. “She is called Uma. Whether that is a name or nickname, I have never asked.”

“Why not?” Denson pressed.

“Do I look like the sort of person who bumps elbows with the leadership?” I asked.

“You look like you were born under a tree stump.” Mohgson said.

“Not too far from the truth.” I said. “My mother left me not far from where the beach meets the sea.”

“Damn.” said Ayya. “I may not love my mom, but THAT is some icy-blooded behavior.”

“It’s the eyes.” Siegen said. “She couldn’t bring herself to gouge them out.”

“Do you think that’s right?” Mohgson asked. “She chose herself over her own son. I’d have nightmares if my mom ever treated me like that.”

His teeth gleamed as he smiled at me. “What does that say about you, that you sleep soundly?”

I needed something better than to shrug; if I kept doing that, those muscles would cramp up from overwork. “I guess that never having a mother is better than having one and losing her later in life.”

He drew his shoulders up and back. “My mother is still alive and healthy, Loki be praised.”

Then, he crossed a line, even in hobgoblin culture. “Tell your mom to stop getting her dick sucked and show you some love.”

Drikt froze in place for two steps.

And she.

Said.

Nothing.

“Sure, you tell me where my mother or father is, and I’ll be glad to tell them, without lies, exactly what I think of them.”

Wait. I had said that. I could tell them what I thought of them; but would it make me GLAD? Happy? Apparently so. I’d have to keep that in mind, if I ever did the sort of things that brought me to where Titans and Demigods hang out.

“Siegen.” Ayya snapped. “What are you ... looking...?”

We had reached the start of the Burn, where over a hundred fires had summoned over a hundred fire spirits.

“Who does this?” Denson asked. “I mean, they still have more trees than we ever will, but...”

“This,” Drikt said, “is the handiwork of our auxiliaries. A mass summoning of fire spirits, to burn clean a swatch from here to the elven border.”

“To bond fire spirits like slaves.” Tigrin said, “It is unholy.”

“This is wasteful.” Mohgson said. “And it is our trees, and not their own, that they sacrifice for this show of their power.”

“Patience.” Siegen said. “Things like this create ripples; this is dominoes, not chess. Let’s figure out what pieces are in play.”

Drikt caught up to her place slightly before the rest of us. “Well said. Stronger plans defeat stronger enemies.”

“We are the people, our brains are of Loki.” began Tigrin, and then went into the full invocation.

The others joined in, and I repeated the words I could say.

We are the people, our brains are of Loki. Though we have been cast low, again we shall rise. Ours is the cunning, the intellect, the nimble mind. Through trickery and deception, lore and craft, through strategy and will and diligence, we shall rise. And we shall rule. Until there is no more fire, and the earth turns cold and dead.

“Praise Loki.” they all said.

“Pay us, Loki.” I said.

Tigrin raised both fists. “Praise be to Loki, God of Forge and Fire!”

.....

“Nope.” Drikt said.

Tigrin blinked at her.

She turned, and pointed at the blackened pillars. “This is fire; this is Loki. This is what happens when you get too close to the power of the gods.” she spat. “Powerful is Loki. Doesn’t mean I want to give him a hug.”

Their name for the Twelve Daggers mountain range.

Incidentally, I’m not very jealous of that, either. I’ll stay with my curse, where when I try to say such things, it reminds me that the real world might not be the same today. Not that I expected news of my mother dying any time soon.

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